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OK you PE-ers... need help with- balance
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<blockquote data-quote="Marcie Mac" data-source="post: 35201" data-attributes="member: 47"><p>been there done that on both ends of the spectrum. As a mom, I know how the party line is supposed to go - as a former difficult child, I still rebel against how it is supposed to go so I probably should not even be responding.</p><p></p><p>I can tell you a LOT of my opposition came from no acceptance of who I was - my very personality went against the grain with my family. I was made very aware that I was not "like them" - I didn't wear they stuff they wore, I didn't wear my hair like they thought I should, I listened to music like "The Fugs and the "Velvet Underground", didn't think like they did, had no interest in what they liked to do, and probably the worst in an Italian Catholic Family, announced I was no longer a Catholic, it was all total bs to me and I wasn't buying any of it. I was 12 at the time and was getting into new age. I still at 57 feel the same way and still am a rabid new ager. </p><p></p><p>The big difference between the younger me and the older me is I no longer feel the need to be oppositional. Some of that I realize came from being overpowered by others view of the way they thought I should be/act and not being able to stand up and argue my point of view, whatever it was, that didn't fit into the mainstream view - it was much easier just to be, well, oppositional - I can and will say what I want cause I can - I do't have the maturity to debate you so I will upset you. It was a response to what I felt was a lot of negativity comming my way.</p><p></p><p>Do I still have the right/obligation to try and direct my 16 y/o who will most probably never live under my roof again? Hard question - are you going to be able to change his mind when he is still a work in progress at the budding age of 16? I know no one could change mine cause I didn't really care at the time what they thought (and I pretty much maintain that stance but in a much more low key way of course). </p><p></p><p>You know Sue, its really difficult when you have kids that march to a different drummer for one reason or another, and their personalities are so different and off the wall. Its always a balancing act between safety and acceptance, especially in thank you's case where there are serious mental health issues. Trying to impose your way of life can cause total alienation as it did in mine, not doing that can cause total chaos.</p><p></p><p>Hugs</p><p>Marcie</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marcie Mac, post: 35201, member: 47"] been there done that on both ends of the spectrum. As a mom, I know how the party line is supposed to go - as a former difficult child, I still rebel against how it is supposed to go so I probably should not even be responding. I can tell you a LOT of my opposition came from no acceptance of who I was - my very personality went against the grain with my family. I was made very aware that I was not "like them" - I didn't wear they stuff they wore, I didn't wear my hair like they thought I should, I listened to music like "The Fugs and the "Velvet Underground", didn't think like they did, had no interest in what they liked to do, and probably the worst in an Italian Catholic Family, announced I was no longer a Catholic, it was all total bs to me and I wasn't buying any of it. I was 12 at the time and was getting into new age. I still at 57 feel the same way and still am a rabid new ager. The big difference between the younger me and the older me is I no longer feel the need to be oppositional. Some of that I realize came from being overpowered by others view of the way they thought I should be/act and not being able to stand up and argue my point of view, whatever it was, that didn't fit into the mainstream view - it was much easier just to be, well, oppositional - I can and will say what I want cause I can - I do't have the maturity to debate you so I will upset you. It was a response to what I felt was a lot of negativity comming my way. Do I still have the right/obligation to try and direct my 16 y/o who will most probably never live under my roof again? Hard question - are you going to be able to change his mind when he is still a work in progress at the budding age of 16? I know no one could change mine cause I didn't really care at the time what they thought (and I pretty much maintain that stance but in a much more low key way of course). You know Sue, its really difficult when you have kids that march to a different drummer for one reason or another, and their personalities are so different and off the wall. Its always a balancing act between safety and acceptance, especially in thank you's case where there are serious mental health issues. Trying to impose your way of life can cause total alienation as it did in mine, not doing that can cause total chaos. Hugs Marcie [/QUOTE]
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