Okay, I am going to have to post a sign

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by DammitJanet, Nov 30, 2012.

  1. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I barely slept last night and noticed at about 5:30 this morning that Tony hadnt gotten up for work so I went into his room to cuddle with him and ask him if he was going to work today. He told me no so I crawled into bed with him and we snuggled for about 30 minutes. Suddenly we noticed we were hearing some strange noise outside so we got up. I told him I needed to get back to my bingo game anyway and he wanted to make coffee and let the dog out.

    As Tony let the dogs out, there is Buck walking up towards the house from his car! He had been sitting in his car since 4:30 this morning waiting for Tony to get up. WTH? Oh I was mad. I stormed out to the living room and let him have it with both barrels. I let them both have it with both barrels. I said that 6 am is NO time to be coming to someone's house to visit unless there is some dire emergency or unless it has been cleared ahead of time like for going hunting or on an early fishing trip, of which this is neither. You just dont show up unannounced.

    My house does not open before 9 am unless you are specifically invited by me. Not Tony. It also closes at 8 pm. And you can only come over one week night a week and every other Sunday. I am sick of you.

    Dont call us for every one of your so called emergencies because what you think are emergencies are mostly poor planning on your part. They do not constitute true emergencies on our part. True emergencies involve blood and loss of limbs.

    I am going to also type this all out and send it to him so he can have it in written form. I do not give a damn what Tony thinks. I have had it. I had to be restrained because I almost walked into my kitchen nude. After all I have been through, he is lucky he wasnt met with my rifle.
     
  2. Fran

    Fran Former Site Owner

    It must be too early. I keep screwing up this post.
    I love your line about his emergencies being poor planning vs. true emergencies. I plan to use it frequently.


     
  3. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I go for nude with-a rifle. If that doesn't do it, nothing will.

    So sorry ... and especially after that nice cuddling so early in the a.m. Sigh.
     
  4. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Will typing it help? I thought he couldn't read. Maybe use very short phrases and pictures of what the clock and calendar looks like?
     
  5. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Here is what I am sending....and yes he can read but slowly.

    [FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]DearBuck,[/FONT]


    [FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]Iam writing this to make you aware that as of now some things aregoing to be changing in my home. These new changes will be followedor you will not be welcomed in my home. [/FONT]



    1. [FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]My home is not open before 9 am in the morning and it closes at 8 pm unless permission is received by me, Janet LaSalle. Asking Theodore doesnt count, I will give him permission to say yes or not by written note so there can be no misunderstandings. [/FONT]
    2. [FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]You will not walk into my house without knocking first. It simply isnt polite and is considered breaking and entering.[/FONT]
    3. [FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]You may call us and ask if it is convenient for you to come over one night a week but you wont come over every night, nor will you just follow Theodore home and arrive when he does. That wont be tolerated. We deserve out evenings alone. [/FONT]
    4. [FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]When you bring your laundry on Sunday's, bring it in a laundry basket and bring your own laundry soap. [/FONT]
    5. [FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]When you are here on Sunday's there is to be no talk of religion unless we ask you first. If you start arguing about this you will be asked to leave.[/FONT]
    6. [FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]There will be no talk about pain. We all have it, its not a contest. [/FONT]


    [FONT=Tahoma, sans-serif]Ifyou do not wish to adhere to these rules, feel free not to come tothe house. I also do not give a rat's ass if Theodore agrees with meor not on this subject. He cant override me on this. I am notgiving in. Its high time I put my foot down. I should have downthis when you moved in so you knew exactly what the rules were fromthe day you got here so you werent able to triangulate Tony and I butthose days are over. [/FONT]
     
  6. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    House Rules

    1. Visiting hours are from 9 am - 8pm, provided the visitor has called first and received approval to visit. No exceptions. No soliciting. No loitering. Any persons on the property uninvited will be considered trespassing and risk being shot on sight. (I would have a posted sign of this all over the yard and outside the house)

    2. Entering the household without knocking will be considered breaking and entering. The police will be called. Charges will be filed.

    3. Stalking will not be tolerated. All stalking behavior will be reported to the police, charges filed, a protection order acquired as needed.

    4. If a visitor brings laundry to be washed, said visitor will bring their own supplies as well as a fee for washing said laundry.

    5. Religion is not discussed in this home and you will be asked to leave immediately.

    I personally would leave out number 6. I reworded them because even Tony can't say they're aimed directly at Buck, although they are, and I figured you'd have done the same but you're too furious right now. You can add on a list of "stalking behaviors" that will be reported to police. You need to make certain that your kids also follow these rules to the letter while you're in the process of removing this growth called "Buck"

    I'd post rule one right under the giant No Trespassing sign "Violators will be shot". :)

    It will take follow through. It won't be easy cuz Tony is going to try to side with Buck. Ignore him and call police. It's your home as much as Tony's. If nothing else police will get so tired of being drug out there they may yank Buckaroo in for a few nights just to prop their feet up on their desks.

    That whole following Tony thing is stalking, not to mention creepy as hades..........wth is that?? There is no way in all heck that behavior can be excused away as "normal".

    If Buck's behavior persists, go get an order of protection. Scr*w Tony. This little game of Bucks has gone on too long. Time for it to end. Even Tony can't argue against an OP.

    Man' this dude is lucky you're so darn far from me.
     
  7. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    You could always go with "stand your ground".
     
  8. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Funny, Witz but...maybe...this isn't the best time to suggest it to Janet! DDD
     
  9. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    You typed too much......it's too -------professional.....too civilized. I digress. I have rewritten your letter; give the nature of our conversation yesterday. Thusly it is:

    Buck,

    GET LOST

    Janet

    ps Get and Lost were not my two first choices of words. But I'm trying really hard to work on being nicer to nincompoops. (my job here is done)
     
  10. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    .......And in hindsight???

    If Buddy is correct, and Buck can't read? THEN I'd go camo with ammo; print a picture of myself, and post THAT picture at the end of my driveway......Kind of like those don't walk street signs in the city. (Just make a surly face and bend in the knees a little -----I think that shows aggression) :sword:
     
  11. Tiapet

    Tiapet Old Hand

    *chuckling here* though I shouldn't be (it's star's fault!) Yay Janet! Now mean what you say and say what you mean and DO IT! (like Nike commercials)
     
  12. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Star?
    Still not obvious.

    Buck

    NO TRESPASSING

    This means YOU.
     
  13. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    Do you have a picture of Buck? If you do, you could just enlarge it, then put one of those things on it (don't know what you call them) ... the circle with the bar going through it to show that something is "forbidden"? Make a copy, then put one at the head of your driveway, the other on your front door. Even the slowest of the slow readers should understand that! It could say something like, "THIS IS A BUCK-FREE ZONE" ...

    :kickedoutsmile:
     
  14. ThreeShadows

    ThreeShadows Quid me anxia?

    Theodore? :smirk:
     
  15. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    or "all bucks will be shot on sight".

    sorry, we really meant the bucks from the DEER family, but... yes, it applies to BUCK too.
     
  16. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    Yeah......NOW yer talkin..........((((((((((paddle faster I hear banjo music))))))))))
     
  17. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Yeah...Buck calls him Theodore. Not so very long story.

    Tony is named Anthony Theodore M. The Theodore is after his grandfather. We got lucky because his grandmother wanted him to be named Hobston!

    When I met Tony and he told me his name was Theodore I said he had to have another name because I simply couldnt call a grown man a chimpmunks name. I asked what his middle name was. When he told me that was his middle name and his first name was Anthony, I promptly christened him Tony and everyone who knows him through me calls him Tony and everyone who knows him through his family or before me calls him Theo. Im sure Buck knows I call him Tony because I have never called him Theo in my life. The only time I actually use his entire name is to tell him from Jamie because they are both Anthony M's. Just one is Anthony T and the other is Anthony J.
     
  18. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    TEDDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ROFLM RUXPIN off.......REALLY? That big man.......TEDDY????? You know whats really weird......(and they say we're not related.....) One of the names I had picked for Dude......Teddy. Theodore L. Wanted to call him Teddy. Just another spooky coincidence....
     
  19. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    I do have to wonder whether you used words that are a little too sophisticated for Buck. Three syllables might be over his head, and I'm not certain that he can understand "adhere" in that context.

    ;) (Duck and cover!)
     
  20. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    See, that is one of the reasons I absolutely know he is smarter than people are giving him credit for. He sat at my counter the day he brought all that paperwork over for me to do for him and he read ever single word of the Safety Procedures and it was two pages long in fairly small typeface. I know he read it because he made comments that made sense about it.

    Tony thinks he is practically illiterate but I dont think so. I think he just plays at being stupid so Tony will think he doesnt understand what he is doing is off.
     
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