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Substance Abuse
Okay, time to rake me over the coals...
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 547795" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>The thing I would worry about is if she IS using, she is driving. Since my daughter got into three car crashes when she was using, I think about that every time a difficult child who uses drugs or has used drugs is given free access to a car. </p><p></p><p>Suzir, there is no perfect solution to addiction. However, one thing is guaranteed..nobody will stop using drugs unless they want to. It is horrible for the entire family when a drug abuser is living with us and often our money to help goes to buy drugs. The only person who can stop a drug user from using is the person herself/himself. I made my daughter leave when I came home early on a vacation to find her having a drug party in our house, and she didn't get a dime from us after that. It's just common sense, at least I think so. She wouldn't go for help and the cops were always knocking on our door. I knew that making her leave wouldn't cure her, but at least the rest of us had a break from it. And her cushy life was over. Her brother cracked the whip and she knew it was her last chance and she DID quit.She even quit cigarettes because Brother was very anti-smoking and she couldn't say there if she brought cigarettes into his house. </p><p></p><p>The car issue is really a scary one to me. My daughter ruined our van first...she was speeding/RACING and the engine burst into flames so it really wasn't an accident, but still everyone in that van could have died if they hadn't gotten out fast. Yes, they were all high as a kite. After that we gave her no more transportatioin, but her brother bought her a car. She did crack that one up and burned her bridges with him and could have been killed herself or killed the other driver. Since it was her fault, she was sued and owed $15,000 to some woman long after she quit using drugs. She had to keep paying her. Then she drove a friend's car and cracked it up and I didn't even want to hear about it anymore. People who are alcoholics or drug addicts in my opinion should walk. My daughter learned to walk when she moved in with her brother, who didn't take any crapola and never again gave her any favors. So safety is my main concern when difficult child's get cars. Will it stop them from driving? Maybe not, but it's harder to get "friends" to give you a car to drive than to have one. And at least if there is an accident, you, the parent, don't have to feel guilty that you may have contributed to it, especially if somebody is hurt or killed. At least, that's how I feel.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 547795, member: 1550"] The thing I would worry about is if she IS using, she is driving. Since my daughter got into three car crashes when she was using, I think about that every time a difficult child who uses drugs or has used drugs is given free access to a car. Suzir, there is no perfect solution to addiction. However, one thing is guaranteed..nobody will stop using drugs unless they want to. It is horrible for the entire family when a drug abuser is living with us and often our money to help goes to buy drugs. The only person who can stop a drug user from using is the person herself/himself. I made my daughter leave when I came home early on a vacation to find her having a drug party in our house, and she didn't get a dime from us after that. It's just common sense, at least I think so. She wouldn't go for help and the cops were always knocking on our door. I knew that making her leave wouldn't cure her, but at least the rest of us had a break from it. And her cushy life was over. Her brother cracked the whip and she knew it was her last chance and she DID quit.She even quit cigarettes because Brother was very anti-smoking and she couldn't say there if she brought cigarettes into his house. The car issue is really a scary one to me. My daughter ruined our van first...she was speeding/RACING and the engine burst into flames so it really wasn't an accident, but still everyone in that van could have died if they hadn't gotten out fast. Yes, they were all high as a kite. After that we gave her no more transportatioin, but her brother bought her a car. She did crack that one up and burned her bridges with him and could have been killed herself or killed the other driver. Since it was her fault, she was sued and owed $15,000 to some woman long after she quit using drugs. She had to keep paying her. Then she drove a friend's car and cracked it up and I didn't even want to hear about it anymore. People who are alcoholics or drug addicts in my opinion should walk. My daughter learned to walk when she moved in with her brother, who didn't take any crapola and never again gave her any favors. So safety is my main concern when difficult child's get cars. Will it stop them from driving? Maybe not, but it's harder to get "friends" to give you a car to drive than to have one. And at least if there is an accident, you, the parent, don't have to feel guilty that you may have contributed to it, especially if somebody is hurt or killed. At least, that's how I feel. [/QUOTE]
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