Old member returning

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Astrid, Feb 18, 2007.

  1. Astrid

    Astrid Member

    Hi all,
    I was a member here way back in 2005. I've not been around in ages - my profile still listed my old E-mail addy that's been killed 1 1/2 years ago.

    For those of you who don't know me, I am Astrid, aged 20 and live in the Netherlands. I am not a parent, but a difficult child myself. Paradigms are constantly changing about what my problem is or is not - from the idea that I really don't have a problem and "should just live" to any number of psychiatric disorders. My behaviour involves getting aggressive (usually verbally, but I might throw things) when I get frustrated/overwhelmed, an, accoding to others, big need for clarity (I like to say they just can't clarify), some diffficulty in understanding social behavior (like, I was in college for 3 months before I was told I really wasn't acting socially). I am currently int he mental health system to get a diagnosis (hopefully), but am rather skeptical about a possible outcome.

    I currently don't live with my parents anymore. Since January, 2006 I live in an independent living training home for the disabled, cause I'm blind also. The staff here were the ones who recommended I go into the mental health system, cause I have a lot of difficulty behaviorally, here, too. In early January (2007), my coach decided that if I acted out like before once more (lots of screaming Occupational Therapist (OT) her, mostly), she didn't want to be my coach anymore so I would have to leave this place within a timeframe of about 2 months at most. Well, that time came last week, but the team coordinator doesn't want to kick me out cause she doesn't think my behavior was bad enought o be kicked out over. So my coach isn't my coach anymore, now the team coordinator is m coach till I leave. Cause this is a training setting, they did feel I was done training, so they had to schedule a date to have me leave, which is going Occupational Therapist (OT) be June 1. They say I'll always need some assistance cause of behavioral problems. I agree, but it does feel difficult since my behavior has not been diagnosed and my parents feel that if I "just live", I could do without assistance just fine, while I did realize over hte past several months that I do fine when I have enough structure/clarity, but I get really bad when I think I don't understand stuff. It's kind of a weird paradox: I graduated high school with high grades, can write nicely on the Internet, and am critical about parents calling their child "unloveable" (not saying all of you do that, or most of the itme, but I have seen it around here), yet at the same time my parents used to say I ruined their lives (when I still lived with them), my coach wanted to kick me out of m current living place, and I most likely cannot live fully independently.

    As for school, I'm in college part-time, but seriously considering dropping out, cause I'm currently in a program I'm not going to finish anyway (will be quitting at the end of this school year no matter what), will be starting university this fall (not sure what program yet), I have big problems wiht classmates and tutor, and I am most likely not able to finish the year anyway cause of changing living arrangement sin June and the adjustment that requires.

    Anyway, I was just wanting to re-intro myself.
  2. Estherfromjerusalem

    Estherfromjerusalem Well-Known Member

    Hello Astrid, it's good to see you again.

    You sound very aware of what's going on with yourself, which is a good thing.

    Hopefully, your input maybe will help us understand our difficult children a bit better -- especially those of us with older ones (mine is 20 years old).

    So -- welcome back!

    Love, Esther
  3. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Welcome back! You certainly have your plate full.
    Do you have a magnifier for your screen so you can see it, or does someone read the posts for you?
    Wish I had some advice to offer, but I'm here mostly to obtain advice from others.
    At any rate, glad you're here. Let us know when you get a reliable diagnosis.
  4. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Hi, Astrid. It may be very hard for us to help you because most of us are from the US and our mental health care system is very different. Are you able to see a psychiatrist so that you can be evaluated and medicated? Sounds like you really can't control your behavior. Have you ever been tried on a mood stabilizer? What is the country's attitude towards mental health issues?
  5. Astrid

    Astrid Member

    Thanks for the welcome messages.

    Midwestmom - I did see a psychiatrist recently. They want to see my parents (this coming Wednesday) before they can make a diagnosis. As for medications, it's not the treatment of first choice for most mental disorders in this country. I've never been on medications and it was never suggested.
  6. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    With ADHD-like symptoms, giving medications for the first time at age 20 has far less impact than if given much younger. By 20 you have already adapted to minimise the impact of your symptoms. You've taught yourself to manage, basically. However, there ARE therapies you should be able to plug into, once there is a clearer idea of what exactly it IS you're dealing with.

    I understand the health care system in Netherlands is quite good - is this the case?

    Keep us posted on how you get on.

  7. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    I wanted to extend my welcome also, Astrid. Recognizing that help is need is half the battle.

    Terry, my stepfather is blind and has a program called Jaws that reads the screen. I'm assuming Astrid has something similar.