Old School post "You know you have difficult child If ..........

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Marcie Mac, Apr 1, 2016.

  1. Marcie Mac

    Marcie Mac Just Plain Ole Tired

    One of the funniest post I have read was titled You Know you have a difficult child (and yeah I know that will be changed to Difficult Child but those three initials made the difference). I so wish it was archived. So this is my attempt to get your sarcastic sense's of humor out and realize the absurdity of bone head moves. I can start by going back in time when a lot of our kids were early teens (I would have to do a blog to update to his 31 years)

    You know if you have a difficult child if

    He and his best friend go down to the DMV and gets an ID card that shows a new first name of Cheech - and the friend, of course, his name is Chong

    You say no a zillion times to a Tat - then spot it from behind going to the kitchen - on his right real shoulder, there it is - our full last name. His brother says look on the bright side, if the police are chasing him they know his name :p

    A navy recruiter jee's him up to join the military. He was so excited when he came from the meeting - they will give me a condo, 10,000 if I pass basic training. Not only THAT, they are going to teach me on the ship, and they have atomic bombs on there. (You can all thank me now - I set the recruiter straight on why that isn't a good idea)

    You Notice another Tat has snuck its way onto his calf. A half naked girl with two eight balls for ta tas and in her hand which is up in the air is a ........ Its nothing rude, but if I put what it is that would ruin it. Isn't it nice mom? MMMMM....Its ok I guess, but why is she holding a Canadian Maple Leaf. Its a Pot leaf, me - it isn't him - it is. Me: Sorry looked like a Maple Leaf to me. Meltdown ensues - It a *$(%*% pot leaf - how was I supposed to know he never smoked pot so didn't know what the leaf looked like. (thankfully he had it covered over and its some cartoon character like Bart Simpson. He has had a few more added. Last time he was arrested - maybe 4 or 5 years ago, I think he was sorry he had any because here in Ca., if you have a few tats they put you in the gang section :p

    If he tells you he is leaving for Tennessee tomorrow - and that you are freaked, but not so much. A post to my sisters on here, well at the end of the thread I knew someone in every state from Ca to Tenn that were willing to keep an eye on him

    Next....


    Marcie
     
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  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    When you are so used to the cops dropping by that you ask how their wives and kids are doing. And you know the family by name.
     
  3. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Your heart stops when you look at the ringing phone and you just know it's one of:
    - ER
    - Police
    - School

    and you're not sure which of those three is the worst-case scenario.
     
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  4. Nomad

    Nomad Well-Known Member

    After I passed the telephone heart stopping stage every time the phone rang, I think I progressed to some mega form of PTSD and no longer heard the phone.

    *So I would say.... You could be seated next to the house ohone and it would ring and ring and you don't hear it because your brain has blocked it out due to all the drama.

    *Date night consists of a quick run to kmart and you are grateful for that half hour of special alone time with your spouse.

    *She's in high school and you are still explaining to her the importance / necessity of a daily bath.

    *you are late for a wedding because you had to convince the police your teen probably didn't need to be hospitalized! but then on second thought you realize you better get a babysitter! but then again! you can't really get a babysitter for a teenager, so you have to set it up so that it doesn't look like a babysitter is present.
     
  5. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    When you recognize the teachers, vice-principal, and principal by their voices over the phone, and the conversations start with "Hi, Mary" and my response is "What did she do?"...

    When you have to explain that the bottom desk drawer in her room is really not a good place to store a PBJ...

    When the bedroom is so disgusting you remove the bed frame simply so more junk can't be stuffed under there...

    When she and her friend are hanging around the living room, all bored, so you send them out to paint the fence, and they spend the afternoon painting stick figures, polka dots, sunshine, and rainbows on your front fence...
     
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  6. Scent of Cedar *

    Scent of Cedar * Well-Known Member

    Your child might be a Gift From God if he's come home sick from school and you, certain his condition has to do with air quality issues in the new, energy efficient high school, call the Principal so incensed about Sick Building Syndrome that it takes you a minute to hear what the Principal is telling you: That he was just about to call you too, Mrs. Cedar, because your child was not sick, but drunk.

    And at first? You don't believe him.

    Cedar
     
  7. TeDo

    TeDo CD Hall of Fame

    You might have a difficult child if you have more holes in your walls and doors (not to mention broken windows) than not.

    Or

    You have major PTSD symptoms every time you leave the house even though it's been a couple years since the last call-the-cops situation.
     
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  8. Marcie Mac

    Marcie Mac Just Plain Ole Tired

    Ah the PTSD - Its finally almost gone for me. Between Dan and SO who was deathly sick at the time, the sound of an ambulance OR Helicopter would make me bolt up straight out of bed. Last time I reacted to a helicopter, I got a call from Dan saying Mom, just want you to know that has nothing to do with me :p Holes in the walls, doors - still have some of them. It has helped that as I replaced the doors, I used solid wood ones.
     
  9. Lil

    Lil Well-Known Member

    Thank you...Thank you very much. lol

    Oh, why didn't Jabber and I do that right off the bat? The first broken hand and he might have controlled himself a bit better!

    Here's a few of mine:

    You know you have a difficult child when:

    He has free laundry at the hotel he's staying at after a fire puts him out of his apartment, but when you do pay to do the rest of laundry, he has to bring the first batch with him because he didn't do it when it was free.

    He quits a job he doesn't like to "have more time to job hunt"...when his hours at the job he quit was 5:00 p.m. to closing - giving him ALL DAY to job hunt!
     
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  10. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Oh, yeah...the holes in the walls...

    And the tile on my kitchen counter...cracked when she slammed a pan down (I don't remember why) and destroyed an entire section of the edge...since the house is so old, it's impossible to replace the broken parts. We would have to redo the entire counter.
     
  11. Jabberwockey

    Jabberwockey Well-Known Member

    Or he might have just moved on to the dry wall.

    Time for a bit of a modification. This will be.....
    You might have a Gift From God working in Corrections If, He soups the inmates up so badly that he is banned from working in a housing unit.

    If, his lighter dies while working on a tower and instead of using the hot plate, he walks across the top of the 30 foot high wall to the next tower to ask for a light.

    If, he pulls so many bone headed stunts that his nickname is Boner.

    If, The Shift Commander films him sleeping in the tower and he cant understand why he got fired.

    For the record, these are only the tip of the iceberg and yes, I used to work with this person.

    And one for our son.
    Your child might be a Gift From God if, at the age of 20, they still consider "Because!" to be a well thought out defense.
     
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  12. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I forgot this one from high school.

    When you drop your kid off at school and watch her walk in only to get a call from school later telling you she was truant.
     
  13. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    ...If she locks herself in her room and pierces her hips, and you shrug because she's not hurting anyone else...
    ...If you hear her leave in the middle on the night, and you can actually go to sleep when she does, because no more drama for a few hours...
    ...If you are relieved when she is in jail...
    ...If you research all the legal, safe ways to sneak soporifics into their food...
    ...If the local cops let you out of a speeding ticket, because G-F-G...
    ...If you aim a motion-sensing air freshener at their bedroom door...
    ...If you stop inviting them to dinner because they won't eat with you, and then they tell your friends you don't feed them...
    ...If their "friends" have parents who call you when your kid shows up unannounced at 9 PM... AGAIN...
    ...If you then have a neurotypical child and don't know how to handle how easy they are...
    ...If you have to lock up specific items such as food (candy, sugar, soda pop, Ovaltine, string cheese, sliced cheese, freezer meals for work), knives, glasses, purses, incense, lighters, citronella candles (don't even ask)...
    ...If you have broken door frames all over the house...
    AND
    ...If you have found petrified ice cream hidden somewhere odd, several years later.
     
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  14. Lil

    Lil Well-Known Member

    Time for a new counter. Really, broken things are constant reminders. We had a bedroom door our son destroyed by punching it over and over again...it was in the hallway, right across from the main bathroom, impossible not to see multiple times a day. We finally replaced it last winter.

    I LOVE THAT NEW DOOR.

    Seriously, I love it so much that I can't even explain how much. Just to not see the damage all the time is the best thing ever.
     
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  15. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    You know you have a challenging child when you are overjoyed that the complete their GED - while your friends are celebrating having kids the same age graduating with advanced degrees.
     
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  16. Scent of Cedar *

    Scent of Cedar * Well-Known Member

    I like that term "challenging child" very much, IC. It doesn't hold the same judgment call as the term "difficult child".

    ***

    When you arrive early to pick her up after ballet class and learn that for the past several months, she has been spending every other class at the Coke machine in the basement of the library across the street.
     
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  17. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Challenging child is an awesome way of putting it.
     
  18. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

    You know you have a Difficult Child (sorry mine is) when:

    You do laundry and he only has one pair of underwear to everyone else's five....
    You hear police sirens and your heart stops only to realize he's asleep....
    You can see sunlight through the cracks in his bedroom door from when he punched it...
     
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  19. Lil

    Lil Well-Known Member

    Ugh! That's the WORST! When he was still home and I did laundry, that drove me NUTS! To this day, he doesn't shower or brush his teeth but once in a blue moon. I said to him the other day, "You know, I thought that maybe having a job would improve your hygiene." He just said, "Yeah. No."

    I'm not going to pretend I've never skipped a shower on a weekend when I'm just being a slug around the house. But unless I'm going to get dirty - like when we were cleaning the church, or when we went to get his stuff from the apartment this weekend - I don't leave the house like that! And even on those days clean undies go on.

    Where does that lack of cleanliness come from?
     
  20. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

    Lil I so agree with you!

    I would get on him about it a lot and he would say he didn't like to be told when to shower. I said if you showered more then I wouldn't have to mention it. Even if he did it every other day I would be okay with that!!

    He is now in Florida sober living/IOP and I was thinking about it yesterday - he lives with 3 other guys. Is he keeping his hygiene up better? Then glad that it's no longer my problem!! He's sober now but is it a mental illness thing? I see a lot of moms post about the hygiene thing here. I also read someplace that is is a form of control. Like maybe they have no control over lots of things but they can control that?? Maybe. I don't know. But what an odd, icky thing to pick. He would even make jokes that there was "mud in the tub" after he showered.

    I also skip sometimes on weekends but this is well beyond that.
     
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