Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Older Child Problem
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Calamity Jane" data-source="post: 552586" data-attributes="member: 13882"><p>Hi and welcome,</p><p>I usually post over in the Substance Abuse Forum, but I have a now-22 y/o easy child daughter who also went to a private HS and was a mostly terrific child, with a few bumps along the way.</p><p>From what I gather in your post, it's kind of too early to tell how things will go. My daughter and I had a very close relationship until she hit puberty, then it was awful, then we became very close again when she was about 19. She had to mature a little and she had to detach from me a little. She remained very close with her Dad, however. In our unique situation, our family was also going thru difficulties and chaos due to my son's substance abuse and defiance.</p><p>If your daughter can confide in another trusted adult (older cousin, aunt) confidentially to blow off steam, or alternatively to a counselor, that would be great if she was open to that. My sister in law and I both have daughters the same age, and we used to say to them, "I am not the enemy!" It wasn't funny then, but it seems funny now. Being an only child, I'm sure your daughter felt scrutinized and somewhat pressured to excel. She probably put more pressure on herself than you ever did. First year of college, particularly the first semester, is a tough adjustment and they feel the pressure of expectations, yet they want the freedom to do what they want. They're getting older and realizing the world isn't so small anymore.</p><p>Keep an eye on her behavior and grades. She has a full ride based on her intelligence and work ethic. I hope she will not jeapordize it. Let her know she can talk to you, be calm, loving and understanding. However, you do not have to pay for 70 mile round trip gas excursions for her to meet with her friends during the school week. Gas is close to $4/gallon near me, and I just don't have that kind of money to burn. The grade on the Chemistry test reflects the level of preparedness required in college and her commitment to this program has to be reflected in her industriousness to get the grades she needs. This is not the time to wimp out and complain about a lack of childhood and social life! By default, medical students and interns sacrifice a youthful social life for their future career. She has to want good grades and that career path more than she wants to hang out and she has to balance both. You can't be a monk and a debutante simultaneously!</p><p>Good luck, keep posting, hope we're helpful.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Calamity Jane, post: 552586, member: 13882"] Hi and welcome, I usually post over in the Substance Abuse Forum, but I have a now-22 y/o easy child daughter who also went to a private HS and was a mostly terrific child, with a few bumps along the way. From what I gather in your post, it's kind of too early to tell how things will go. My daughter and I had a very close relationship until she hit puberty, then it was awful, then we became very close again when she was about 19. She had to mature a little and she had to detach from me a little. She remained very close with her Dad, however. In our unique situation, our family was also going thru difficulties and chaos due to my son's substance abuse and defiance. If your daughter can confide in another trusted adult (older cousin, aunt) confidentially to blow off steam, or alternatively to a counselor, that would be great if she was open to that. My sister in law and I both have daughters the same age, and we used to say to them, "I am not the enemy!" It wasn't funny then, but it seems funny now. Being an only child, I'm sure your daughter felt scrutinized and somewhat pressured to excel. She probably put more pressure on herself than you ever did. First year of college, particularly the first semester, is a tough adjustment and they feel the pressure of expectations, yet they want the freedom to do what they want. They're getting older and realizing the world isn't so small anymore. Keep an eye on her behavior and grades. She has a full ride based on her intelligence and work ethic. I hope she will not jeapordize it. Let her know she can talk to you, be calm, loving and understanding. However, you do not have to pay for 70 mile round trip gas excursions for her to meet with her friends during the school week. Gas is close to $4/gallon near me, and I just don't have that kind of money to burn. The grade on the Chemistry test reflects the level of preparedness required in college and her commitment to this program has to be reflected in her industriousness to get the grades she needs. This is not the time to wimp out and complain about a lack of childhood and social life! By default, medical students and interns sacrifice a youthful social life for their future career. She has to want good grades and that career path more than she wants to hang out and she has to balance both. You can't be a monk and a debutante simultaneously! Good luck, keep posting, hope we're helpful. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Older Child Problem
Top