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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 552669" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Welcome. My first reaction is that perhaps she is feeling the 'burden of expectation' along with the first blush of freedom, one can feel like a noose tightening around your neck, the other, some (perhaps well deserved) breathing room. Only children place very high expectations on themselves, as often we as their parents do as well. She is at a tender age going through a very large transition. It can be terrifying and exhilarating all at the same time, and as young people, we don't have the experience to contain all of those feelings within us. So, kids act out, that may be what she is doing. </p><p></p><p>Transitions are tough, for any of us, and there is so much riding on her doing well, it makes sense to me that there might be a form of regression, the hanging out with younger kids and being short with you two. Perhaps, as CJ mentioned, getting her to someone she can confide in, someone other then you and your wife, may be very helpful to give her a voice, a way of expressing what she's feeling, what she's going through. Unfortunately, our kids don't always confide in us. She may feel that way because she doesn't want to disappoint you. As an ENFJ she is also a giver and having a similar predisposition myself, a big lesson is to learn to take care of your own needs as well as others, so it may be difficult for her to identify her own needs and be able to verbalize them., hence, the acting out.</p><p></p><p>My go to place is always therapy because that's what worked best for me, so I would encourage that. However, I recognize that is not THE answer, but I do sense that she may benefit greatly from someone neutral to be able to talk to, to really express her fears, her expectations, her angers, all of it. I wish you success in finding solutions for your daughter. And, keep posting, it helps........</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 552669, member: 13542"] Welcome. My first reaction is that perhaps she is feeling the 'burden of expectation' along with the first blush of freedom, one can feel like a noose tightening around your neck, the other, some (perhaps well deserved) breathing room. Only children place very high expectations on themselves, as often we as their parents do as well. She is at a tender age going through a very large transition. It can be terrifying and exhilarating all at the same time, and as young people, we don't have the experience to contain all of those feelings within us. So, kids act out, that may be what she is doing. Transitions are tough, for any of us, and there is so much riding on her doing well, it makes sense to me that there might be a form of regression, the hanging out with younger kids and being short with you two. Perhaps, as CJ mentioned, getting her to someone she can confide in, someone other then you and your wife, may be very helpful to give her a voice, a way of expressing what she's feeling, what she's going through. Unfortunately, our kids don't always confide in us. She may feel that way because she doesn't want to disappoint you. As an ENFJ she is also a giver and having a similar predisposition myself, a big lesson is to learn to take care of your own needs as well as others, so it may be difficult for her to identify her own needs and be able to verbalize them., hence, the acting out. My go to place is always therapy because that's what worked best for me, so I would encourage that. However, I recognize that is not THE answer, but I do sense that she may benefit greatly from someone neutral to be able to talk to, to really express her fears, her expectations, her angers, all of it. I wish you success in finding solutions for your daughter. And, keep posting, it helps........ [/QUOTE]
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