older difficult child was busy while we were at evaluation......

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Jena, Mar 1, 2008.

  1. Jena

    Jena New Member

    hi to everyone!!

    so older difficult child was sooo soo busy while mom and little difficult child were getting evaluation done past 3 dys in another state.

    i came back to find her hair cut and dyed black, and she has a boyfriend who is 17 she is 14 will be 15 in may he drives.........

    he invited her to jr. prom of which will be in party bus yea ok so shes not goung to that.

    so i thought wow she works fast i was out of state and she was off my radar for 3/4 days at best and look at all she achieved........lol

    so i said ok have boyfriend come and meet me and kids. i can't tell her not to see him then she'll be jumping in that car with him before i can so no. so hopefully my presence and boyfriend's will keep him in check. we have several sex talks and the importance of when that time comes to com eto meso i can bring her to dr adn get her the pill.

    she hates me now told her no to jr. prom. he'll be a senior in september her she's in 9th grade and would be entering tenth then.

    so amazing came home bought food cleaned house it was disgusting haven't stopped yet. so relaxing to be back in the mix.

    so anyway i'm sure many of you have gone thru this yourselves not easy, huh...?? i remember my boyfriend at 14 he was 17 and drove he was a real piece of junk. this kid sounds nice but bottom line is he's too old. so hopefully her fascination will end if i don't forbid her. yet she tends to be ilke mom the long term girl relationship thing. her last boyfriend lasted 7 mos. nice kid had him over alot they were never allowed to be alone seh dumped him when we moved here.

    its a shame she's always searching for that closeness iwth a guy just like mom did early on. she doens't know her dad. she isnt' from my marriage. yet my ex and her are kinda close he helped me raise her and still does to an extent has had many talks with her when i need him to, etc. it's the only dad she's ever known.

    so we'll see how this progresses..........never a dull moment

    Jen :)
     
  2. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    How true-never a dull moment! Sounds like you are handling it well. I swear 14 is a stinky age-and I thought easy child (possibly difficult child) was bad when she was 13-yikes 14 is worse!
     
  3. Jena

    Jena New Member

    hi

    thanks. yes it's wild when they turn teenagers and she moved so fast. wow i was only gone for a matter of days..........lol

    boyfriend's calming me down a bit regarding it. my knee jerk reaction was to freak out about everything then he said ok take a deep breath it's only going to get worse with her he's right. i can't flip out about everything
     
  4. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I love the hair. (Not!)
    So sorry about the added stress. When is the prom? Next yr? I'd just give a noncommittal response, something like, "That's a long way off. What does he look like?" And you're right to never let them be alone.
    by the way, she won't listen if you tell her that black hair dye is the most carcinogenic of all dyes, right? Naw. Thought so.
     
  5. Jena

    Jena New Member

    hi

    get this it's the junior prom because he's in 11th grade and it's next mos. she's only in 9th grade she's in over her head.

    i basically told her due to the fact that right now she is failing school and doesn't seem to be making good choices everyday with her time in school and after school i cannot trust that in a situation with older children much older on a party bus where i'm sure alcohol will be happening that she wil make the right choices.

    i said to her that in time hopefully once she begins making the right choices for herself i can loosen the reigns a littel but it's myjob as her mom to protect her even when she doesnt' know she needs protecting. i also told her it' ok if she hates me right now i'm willing to take the hit to keep her safe that i love her now and always regardless of her behavior.

    we got a call last night at 1 a.m. one of her friends.......new friends which i can only assume is her new boyfriend's friends. their so much older their 17 driving cars she' in over her head with thsi one.


    i had the sex speech again told her the importance of using protection and also explained to her taht boys in that grade would not be satisfied with some slight kissing and groping i'm not sure how far she's gone. she said i'm not giong to have sex. i said well if you decide to i can only hope adn pray yu come to me so that i can bring you adn get you on the pill to avoid a pregnancy. i said all it takes is one moment to change your entire world forever.

    this boy brings problems with his older friends now and the circling new crowd which will come with him it ***** in plain english. the phone call last night at 1 a.m. is just a smal taste i think of what lies ahead iwth regards to this boy. he also called the house today for first time and got me on the phone and he sounded like a real jerk. he said hey is ... there??? hey what is that when speaking to the mother??? i said to him hey she's not available now who is calling?? they need not play iwth me oh my god i'll loose it. boyfriend keeps me calm but i win out sometimes.
     
  6. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    So, how did you handle the 1 a.m. phone call?
    Sheeh.
    I have grounded my easy child off the phone for stuff like that ... she says it's not her fault and the point is, it has to get back to her friends to see that they got her into trouble.
    Good luck!
     
  7. Jena

    Jena New Member

    well i said are you aware what time it is ?? then he said ummm well i said well it's 1 a.m. and you dont call people's houses at 1 am. not this house that's for sure cut off time here is 10 p.m. adn i hung up on him
     
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