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<blockquote data-quote="1 Day At a Time" data-source="post: 67036" data-attributes="member: 3704"><p>Cookie Momster (gotta love the name!)</p><p></p><p>Oddly enough, it was easy child who gave us the biggest struggle at this age , but then difficult child is not typical in any sense of the word. easy child could, and still can, argue most persuasively - and always, always, the last word had to be HIS. Finally, at age 21, he is moving away a little from that need. (In one of my worst moments I wrote the words "last word" on a piece of paper and gave it to him during one of his tirades. I told him there were his and could always be his but it would never change anything in his life). We encouraged him to put that "debating" skill to good use in his high school's mock trial program and he was quite the star. I must say he comes by it quite naturally, I never engage in debate with husband, I've learned better :smile:</p><p></p><p>I think you have gotten some wonderful advice from experienced Moms - oh how I wish I had some of that nine years ago. My opinion now is that arguing never works, there are never any winners -ever. As hard as it is, refuse to engage! State your piece and listen to hers. I think it's really important to always listen. I saw a wonderful sign on a church sign the other day, "You can't be heard if you are not listening". Of course, much of what you will hear is teenage hysteria fuelled by hormones. That stuff is very powerful!! In fact, I wish I had some of those hormones now - they would be very handy for what ails me. But seriously, between those hysterical moments some important information will come through - information that you really, really need to hear. If she's like my son was, she can argue forever and she will just tire you out. I can see that in hindsight but I engaged constantly at the time. He can't hook me now, and our family is better for it.</p><p></p><p>Please find some moments to do something for yourself. Raising teens is the hardest work you will ever do.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="1 Day At a Time, post: 67036, member: 3704"] Cookie Momster (gotta love the name!) Oddly enough, it was easy child who gave us the biggest struggle at this age , but then difficult child is not typical in any sense of the word. easy child could, and still can, argue most persuasively - and always, always, the last word had to be HIS. Finally, at age 21, he is moving away a little from that need. (In one of my worst moments I wrote the words "last word" on a piece of paper and gave it to him during one of his tirades. I told him there were his and could always be his but it would never change anything in his life). We encouraged him to put that "debating" skill to good use in his high school's mock trial program and he was quite the star. I must say he comes by it quite naturally, I never engage in debate with husband, I've learned better [img]:smile:[/img] I think you have gotten some wonderful advice from experienced Moms - oh how I wish I had some of that nine years ago. My opinion now is that arguing never works, there are never any winners -ever. As hard as it is, refuse to engage! State your piece and listen to hers. I think it's really important to always listen. I saw a wonderful sign on a church sign the other day, "You can't be heard if you are not listening". Of course, much of what you will hear is teenage hysteria fuelled by hormones. That stuff is very powerful!! In fact, I wish I had some of those hormones now - they would be very handy for what ails me. But seriously, between those hysterical moments some important information will come through - information that you really, really need to hear. If she's like my son was, she can argue forever and she will just tire you out. I can see that in hindsight but I engaged constantly at the time. He can't hook me now, and our family is better for it. Please find some moments to do something for yourself. Raising teens is the hardest work you will ever do. [/QUOTE]
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