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<blockquote data-quote="CookieMomster" data-source="post: 67856" data-attributes="member: 3936"><p>strangely..i use to argue with her..try to persuade her to see my side... but I never did it willingly. I always have tried to get away from her and cool off..she is AN IN YOUR FACE CHILD. She will follow you around and insist you talk to her, when she means listen to HER. She wants to control when the "talk" will be. I have ANGER and mean parents in my background..I do not wish to ever LOSE it like my parents did..so I want to escape and gather...SHE WILL NOT LET ME. She knows in her heart she is wrong..but she will die trying to convince you ..you are the one in the wrong and that it should be HER WAY. honestly ITS AMAZING...lol. I exercise the "two ears, one mouth" theory...listen twice and much as you speak. In her control moods of following me around...she normally will cut off her own foot. She will tell me all the bad things she has done that I didnt know..(not real bad)..she will tell me about the girls she hangs around with that she is not suppose to....it like she digs this grave deeper and deeper in an effort to shock or anger me to put me on HER LEVEL and angry. That is one thing I learned from this site years ago when i came here for help with a step difficult child.... I don my barbie smile....and try not to play into her game. This last time...my ignoring her or not speaking or getting angry fueled her to attempt to "hit" me. AMAZING. It was so hard... my mom would have knocked me into a wall, kicked me in the mouth....hit me with whatever she could get her hands on..and all i wanted to do is NOT hit her. I am disabled...that is the scary part..my arms have no strength...so...I just held her pony tail...tightened my arm far away from me...and YELLED FOR HER BROTHER TO COME HELP ME. She landed a few open handed hits on my body...but at that distance she couldnt really "hurt" me... My ex husband was here....he grabbed her and within 5 minutes she melted and looked as if we had just given her a shot of some sort of "knock out" drug. </p><p>I started another post yesterday of "honey i drunk the kids" and there is alot more information there... </p><p>I want to say..my daughter is the most loving, caring child. she is like a mother in a childs body...she frets things, she just cant let go of the "control"...... she has a lot of issues from the past that have just suddenly IMPACTED HER. Molestation at age 2 1/2, my divorce from her father (hereinafter referred to has the sperm donor), then a step difficult child brother who terriorized her, early maturation, continual manipulation from the sperm donor, etc. </p><p>In the midst of all the recent saturation of "rages" she seems to "see" things now though. The sperm donor had her convinced that her brother was my favorite...that i favored him and did nothing for her... in all these years she never knew when he was in trouble (because he is humble and a pleaser- and <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/2012/censored2.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":censored2:" title="censored2 :censored2:" data-shortname=":censored2:" /> up instead of going nuts and yelling)... she has calmed more now...with no privledges and no bedroom door to hide behind (and talk on the phone to her friends and ignore her family)...she sees her brother get in trouble...(she smiles)....but she seems to see i treat them equally..and i respond appropriately to how they behave (or dont). She still obsesses about things OUT of her control...and gets all manic...but her AIM is not at me for now. She has opened up to me and told me the things the sperm donor has told her...most of which is completely inappropriate to tell a child (and all of it is lies) about her mother (me). IE: he confessed to haveing ONE affair (he had three)... but he told her it was not his fault it was mine. He twisted things around and she didnt see it....so of course it was my fault for the divorce. I did not correct anything other than to say...it takes two to marry and two to divorce...sorry he told you about his infidelity, but it is never right to cheat....and... reminded her of how i cried and prayed for her father last year when he nearly died in a motorcycle accident (of course two days later when he was on the phone being a jerk..i wondered why i prayed for him). I love your father and will till i die- i just dont like who he is now. He has told her the child support is HERS..it isnt for me to raise her, pay bills etc..it is HERS TO SPEND on clothes and stuff. etc. NOW can you see how confused this child is??? she has an adult toying with her and twisting her...she is not a baby anymore...she use to live on everything he said and believe him..now she is older and she see it...and because I never spoke ill of him- and never defended myself against the things he said (casue i thought she was too young)... i still refuse to bash him to her. She is her father (choke)....OH the last thing is... we were lutheran while married so both kids were baptized as babies... he is not baptist...and has told her that me and her brother are going to hell since we are not baptist. She goes to a baptist church IF and when she goes to see him so she is saved..(lol). YOU dont tell a kid that bout her family. And now...even though she has pictures of her baptism...he says she was never baptized and those are pictures from another event...LOL. </p><p>:::long vent/post::: sorry.</p><p></p><p>nuf</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="CookieMomster, post: 67856, member: 3936"] strangely..i use to argue with her..try to persuade her to see my side... but I never did it willingly. I always have tried to get away from her and cool off..she is AN IN YOUR FACE CHILD. She will follow you around and insist you talk to her, when she means listen to HER. She wants to control when the "talk" will be. I have ANGER and mean parents in my background..I do not wish to ever LOSE it like my parents did..so I want to escape and gather...SHE WILL NOT LET ME. She knows in her heart she is wrong..but she will die trying to convince you ..you are the one in the wrong and that it should be HER WAY. honestly ITS AMAZING...lol. I exercise the "two ears, one mouth" theory...listen twice and much as you speak. In her control moods of following me around...she normally will cut off her own foot. She will tell me all the bad things she has done that I didnt know..(not real bad)..she will tell me about the girls she hangs around with that she is not suppose to....it like she digs this grave deeper and deeper in an effort to shock or anger me to put me on HER LEVEL and angry. That is one thing I learned from this site years ago when i came here for help with a step difficult child.... I don my barbie smile....and try not to play into her game. This last time...my ignoring her or not speaking or getting angry fueled her to attempt to "hit" me. AMAZING. It was so hard... my mom would have knocked me into a wall, kicked me in the mouth....hit me with whatever she could get her hands on..and all i wanted to do is NOT hit her. I am disabled...that is the scary part..my arms have no strength...so...I just held her pony tail...tightened my arm far away from me...and YELLED FOR HER BROTHER TO COME HELP ME. She landed a few open handed hits on my body...but at that distance she couldnt really "hurt" me... My ex husband was here....he grabbed her and within 5 minutes she melted and looked as if we had just given her a shot of some sort of "knock out" drug. I started another post yesterday of "honey i drunk the kids" and there is alot more information there... I want to say..my daughter is the most loving, caring child. she is like a mother in a childs body...she frets things, she just cant let go of the "control"...... she has a lot of issues from the past that have just suddenly IMPACTED HER. Molestation at age 2 1/2, my divorce from her father (hereinafter referred to has the sperm donor), then a step difficult child brother who terriorized her, early maturation, continual manipulation from the sperm donor, etc. In the midst of all the recent saturation of "rages" she seems to "see" things now though. The sperm donor had her convinced that her brother was my favorite...that i favored him and did nothing for her... in all these years she never knew when he was in trouble (because he is humble and a pleaser- and :censored: up instead of going nuts and yelling)... she has calmed more now...with no privledges and no bedroom door to hide behind (and talk on the phone to her friends and ignore her family)...she sees her brother get in trouble...(she smiles)....but she seems to see i treat them equally..and i respond appropriately to how they behave (or dont). She still obsesses about things OUT of her control...and gets all manic...but her AIM is not at me for now. She has opened up to me and told me the things the sperm donor has told her...most of which is completely inappropriate to tell a child (and all of it is lies) about her mother (me). IE: he confessed to haveing ONE affair (he had three)... but he told her it was not his fault it was mine. He twisted things around and she didnt see it....so of course it was my fault for the divorce. I did not correct anything other than to say...it takes two to marry and two to divorce...sorry he told you about his infidelity, but it is never right to cheat....and... reminded her of how i cried and prayed for her father last year when he nearly died in a motorcycle accident (of course two days later when he was on the phone being a jerk..i wondered why i prayed for him). I love your father and will till i die- i just dont like who he is now. He has told her the child support is HERS..it isnt for me to raise her, pay bills etc..it is HERS TO SPEND on clothes and stuff. etc. NOW can you see how confused this child is??? she has an adult toying with her and twisting her...she is not a baby anymore...she use to live on everything he said and believe him..now she is older and she see it...and because I never spoke ill of him- and never defended myself against the things he said (casue i thought she was too young)... i still refuse to bash him to her. She is her father (choke)....OH the last thing is... we were lutheran while married so both kids were baptized as babies... he is not baptist...and has told her that me and her brother are going to hell since we are not baptist. She goes to a baptist church IF and when she goes to see him so she is saved..(lol). YOU dont tell a kid that bout her family. And now...even though she has pictures of her baptism...he says she was never baptized and those are pictures from another event...LOL. :::long vent/post::: sorry. nuf [/QUOTE]
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