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OMG. Now my dad. Does it ever end?
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 629471" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Cedar, you get it the most, like you always do. Thank you. Although we spoke again...and I lied. I did. I called HIM back to tell him I was going to tell Julie and Geoff what he said because I was being a bit revengeful and knew he would freak out at that. They have always been very nice to him. He was calm and told me to forget he said that and made some excuse that I don't remember. I won't forget he said it though. It's just the meanness of who he is.</p><p></p><p>Cedar, I am already to the point where usually my father and I do not talk about anything except the weather. I stopped sharing my life with him years ago. He was too abusive. If I ever talk to my sister again, which I hope I don't, this is how I will deal with her too. Nothing but the surface. Not my feelings. He doesn't care or understand. I'm mad at me for calling him. I do know he loves me, unlike my sister and brother and mother and her ticky old brother and the rest of her crew. But it is still appalling the way he talks to us and I have been good about not allowing it for a long time. Another thing I do is limit our contact to maybe once every two weeks. Less is more, so to speak.</p><p></p><p>Janet, I know you mean well, but you obviously have a stronger bond with your father than I have with mine. He does not get into sit downs and listening to us. He is narcissistic and if it's not about him, he isn't even hearing. I did not love my mother when she died. I hadn't seen her for over a decade and she didn't even send my children birthday cards on their birthday. I believe in karma so I kept trying to mend things in this world by sending her beautiful cards and letters and calling her. She never called me once. When I managed to gulp up "I love you" she'd say "I know you do." She never said it back. I went to her funeral and diedn't cry. Nobody in my little family cried. I was mostly comforting those she had been nice to. I do love my father because he doesn't treat me any worse than he treats my siblings, but that doesn't make it warm and fuzzy between us. In our case, no, I don't want him to die and think I didn't love him. But he is very hard to love and, trust me, his kids and grandkids are very unimportant in his life. Every time I visit the Chicago area, where he lives, he has to check his calendar before he will see me. If there's a dance or he has a date, too bad, so sad for me. I'm used to it, but he's not a very loving man and has a limited capacity to love me back. Even when I was a baby and little kid, he was never home. He was always at work. Leaving me stuck with super-abusive mother.</p><p></p><p>THanks to all for the ear. You are all so smart and caring.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 629471, member: 1550"] Cedar, you get it the most, like you always do. Thank you. Although we spoke again...and I lied. I did. I called HIM back to tell him I was going to tell Julie and Geoff what he said because I was being a bit revengeful and knew he would freak out at that. They have always been very nice to him. He was calm and told me to forget he said that and made some excuse that I don't remember. I won't forget he said it though. It's just the meanness of who he is. Cedar, I am already to the point where usually my father and I do not talk about anything except the weather. I stopped sharing my life with him years ago. He was too abusive. If I ever talk to my sister again, which I hope I don't, this is how I will deal with her too. Nothing but the surface. Not my feelings. He doesn't care or understand. I'm mad at me for calling him. I do know he loves me, unlike my sister and brother and mother and her ticky old brother and the rest of her crew. But it is still appalling the way he talks to us and I have been good about not allowing it for a long time. Another thing I do is limit our contact to maybe once every two weeks. Less is more, so to speak. Janet, I know you mean well, but you obviously have a stronger bond with your father than I have with mine. He does not get into sit downs and listening to us. He is narcissistic and if it's not about him, he isn't even hearing. I did not love my mother when she died. I hadn't seen her for over a decade and she didn't even send my children birthday cards on their birthday. I believe in karma so I kept trying to mend things in this world by sending her beautiful cards and letters and calling her. She never called me once. When I managed to gulp up "I love you" she'd say "I know you do." She never said it back. I went to her funeral and diedn't cry. Nobody in my little family cried. I was mostly comforting those she had been nice to. I do love my father because he doesn't treat me any worse than he treats my siblings, but that doesn't make it warm and fuzzy between us. In our case, no, I don't want him to die and think I didn't love him. But he is very hard to love and, trust me, his kids and grandkids are very unimportant in his life. Every time I visit the Chicago area, where he lives, he has to check his calendar before he will see me. If there's a dance or he has a date, too bad, so sad for me. I'm used to it, but he's not a very loving man and has a limited capacity to love me back. Even when I was a baby and little kid, he was never home. He was always at work. Leaving me stuck with super-abusive mother. THanks to all for the ear. You are all so smart and caring. [/QUOTE]
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OMG. Now my dad. Does it ever end?
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