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OMG - things are bad - and apparently I am the one to blame
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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 320838" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>I like the idea of writing a few drafts of a letter to get all the emotion out, then finalizing one that is to the point and simple and let's them know that you want to do what is in M's best interest, you are willing to comply and support their suggestions (which you have no choice about as long as he's there), but you do want to be kept in the loop about what is going on with him. I see no reason why they aren't at least copying you on on status reports. Even Department of Juvenile Justice does that with me. Is he considered an adult legally at 19yo in that state? If so, that could be the difference.</p><p></p><p>It seems the ed cons should be able to smooth over any misunderstanding about asking for a schedule- maybe after he talks to you, he could be involved in a conference call between you and the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) staff??</p><p></p><p>I'm not sure I haven't missed something- it is not clear to me if M is saying he doesn't want so much contact with you right now- as in, he needs a little space to work on his own issues- or if the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) is requiring you to decrease contact- or if they have revoked M's phone privileges right now as a form of punishment. This would have a lot to do with how I reacted to it, but again, that goes back to needing to stay in the loop if you are going to be able to support the program. Of course, the other side of that coin is to completely detach and just let them do whatever they see fit with you having no involvement. As long as my son is a minor, I would want to be in the loop, even if I had no control over it. As I said, even Department of Juvenile Justice does this to a certain extent. Then again, they might not be doing it even that much if my son was of an age where they expected him to be on his own instead of return home upon his release.</p><p></p><p>I'm just thinking as I write- sorry. But Steely- something isn't adding up- I can see the need for you to trust them and support what they are doing, but they would almost have to be filing a monthly or quarterly progress report that includes their plan and status/progress and treatment and they should be copying you on this since you are M's parent and technically paying for this, right? If they aren't doing that, I would get him out just because I wouldn't be willing to pay for any service if I had no idea what they were doing or how it was progressing.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 320838, member: 3699"] I like the idea of writing a few drafts of a letter to get all the emotion out, then finalizing one that is to the point and simple and let's them know that you want to do what is in M's best interest, you are willing to comply and support their suggestions (which you have no choice about as long as he's there), but you do want to be kept in the loop about what is going on with him. I see no reason why they aren't at least copying you on on status reports. Even Department of Juvenile Justice does that with me. Is he considered an adult legally at 19yo in that state? If so, that could be the difference. It seems the ed cons should be able to smooth over any misunderstanding about asking for a schedule- maybe after he talks to you, he could be involved in a conference call between you and the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) staff?? I'm not sure I haven't missed something- it is not clear to me if M is saying he doesn't want so much contact with you right now- as in, he needs a little space to work on his own issues- or if the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) is requiring you to decrease contact- or if they have revoked M's phone privileges right now as a form of punishment. This would have a lot to do with how I reacted to it, but again, that goes back to needing to stay in the loop if you are going to be able to support the program. Of course, the other side of that coin is to completely detach and just let them do whatever they see fit with you having no involvement. As long as my son is a minor, I would want to be in the loop, even if I had no control over it. As I said, even Department of Juvenile Justice does this to a certain extent. Then again, they might not be doing it even that much if my son was of an age where they expected him to be on his own instead of return home upon his release. I'm just thinking as I write- sorry. But Steely- something isn't adding up- I can see the need for you to trust them and support what they are doing, but they would almost have to be filing a monthly or quarterly progress report that includes their plan and status/progress and treatment and they should be copying you on this since you are M's parent and technically paying for this, right? If they aren't doing that, I would get him out just because I wouldn't be willing to pay for any service if I had no idea what they were doing or how it was progressing. [/QUOTE]
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OMG - things are bad - and apparently I am the one to blame
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