Well I have decided If K is even half as unstable next year during this time of year as she is now... we will skip Christmas. It is altogether too much for her. The weeks leading up to it. All of it. As we sat at dinner and poor N sat and kept asking where is K, why isn't she here? We had to PRN her and she stayed up in her room and husband had to bring her food and help her... she sat and told me how bad she was, how confused she was. How she was scared Santa was going to come and take hew presents because she was so horrible. She was so all over the board one minute barely OK the next screaming because she didn't get enough presents... fully unable, to calm down. I remember going through these things as a child. So much turmoil, yet unable to explain the confusion going on in my head, the chaos... She is having issues with germs also!!! Afraid if anyone drinks something of hers. Changes her mind every few minutes... I am so tired... She has a psychiatrist apt Thursday, husband is not letting me go !!!! LOL He is afraid I will, hmmm maybe get upset??? Anyway so then I was just sitting here feeling so beat up tired... like crying. Like, why do I have to medicate my child to make it through Fricken Christmas!?!?!?! Sometimes I just hate it all... and then I open up the laptop, and see Stars* Post about Moose Poop... and I had to laugh and it made me smile and it made me laugh and you know what... it made me feel a bit better!!! It is 10:30 and the kids are finally asleep... I made it though the day. I love that little brown lump passed out on my feet... even with his sharp little teeth, he is a good little man!!! He is trying hard!!! So thanks, I hope some of you had a nice day. Or parts of the day were good!!! I did get a tin of French Truffles from the neighbors!!! I have been stuffing them in my face all day!!! Ahh life... will I ever get to see K again??? Is this her now? Who will she become?