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On the fence
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<blockquote data-quote="meowbunny" data-source="post: 187154" data-attributes="member: 3626"><p>First, he adopted your son and he is therefore his father. Period. As such, he has a right to make some of the decisions in parenting his son. If you don't agree with his decisions, then the two of you discuss it away from your son.</p><p> </p><p>Second, I'm old school. You get privacy when you move out. While you live in my home, I have the right to snoop if I deem it necessary. Your privacy is in your mind, child. That's it. Since he is storing things in his safe that are not his, I'd say he lost all rights to the safe. To me, his reasons for the knife make sense. This issue is that IT WASN'T HIS. At this point, I'd be keeping the key and expecting him to open it, put in what he considered valuable and removing things as necessary in front me. One thing I would since he has a point is buy him a pair of scissors so he can lock them in the safe.</p><p> </p><p>Privacy comes from trust. It seems as if your husband is saying he doesn't trust his son and your comments imply that he has good reason. As to the comments on the phone, there I thnk your husband is wrong. If he has an issue, he talks to his son in person and deals with the meltdown the discussion it causes. </p><p> </p><p>Most importantly, you both have to be on the same page. Our kids are great at triangulating. I once did a post about what senior citizens put first -- their kids or their spouse. They overwhelmingly said their spouse came first and one woman even remarked that she regretted putting her children first. I was talking to a couple yesterday who had 5 kids (a set of twins, another bio child and 2 adopted). Today is their 33rd wedding anniversary. Bob said he loved his wife more today than when they were first married. Anne agreed. They loved their kids but always made sure they had time for each other even though one of their sons easily qualified them to be members in high standing here. They did not let any of their kids, even their son, come between them. They may have disagreed on a parenting issue but the kids never knew it -- this was discussed quietly between the two of them and would be resolved with both sides compromising.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="meowbunny, post: 187154, member: 3626"] First, he adopted your son and he is therefore his father. Period. As such, he has a right to make some of the decisions in parenting his son. If you don't agree with his decisions, then the two of you discuss it away from your son. Second, I'm old school. You get privacy when you move out. While you live in my home, I have the right to snoop if I deem it necessary. Your privacy is in your mind, child. That's it. Since he is storing things in his safe that are not his, I'd say he lost all rights to the safe. To me, his reasons for the knife make sense. This issue is that IT WASN'T HIS. At this point, I'd be keeping the key and expecting him to open it, put in what he considered valuable and removing things as necessary in front me. One thing I would since he has a point is buy him a pair of scissors so he can lock them in the safe. Privacy comes from trust. It seems as if your husband is saying he doesn't trust his son and your comments imply that he has good reason. As to the comments on the phone, there I thnk your husband is wrong. If he has an issue, he talks to his son in person and deals with the meltdown the discussion it causes. Most importantly, you both have to be on the same page. Our kids are great at triangulating. I once did a post about what senior citizens put first -- their kids or their spouse. They overwhelmingly said their spouse came first and one woman even remarked that she regretted putting her children first. I was talking to a couple yesterday who had 5 kids (a set of twins, another bio child and 2 adopted). Today is their 33rd wedding anniversary. Bob said he loved his wife more today than when they were first married. Anne agreed. They loved their kids but always made sure they had time for each other even though one of their sons easily qualified them to be members in high standing here. They did not let any of their kids, even their son, come between them. They may have disagreed on a parenting issue but the kids never knew it -- this was discussed quietly between the two of them and would be resolved with both sides compromising. [/QUOTE]
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