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Parent Emeritus
On the verge of a nervous breakdown
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<blockquote data-quote="seriously" data-source="post: 457966" data-attributes="member: 11920"><p>One of my best one-liners when my 15 year old starts in about how he's going to live somewhere else is:</p><p></p><p>I will love you no matter where you live.</p><p></p><p>This is a true statement.</p><p></p><p>You must also keep in mind that as long as you treat your son as a child and not an adult you are short changing him.</p><p></p><p>You have spent your life as a parent teaching him so that he is ready to be an adult.</p><p></p><p>The moment has come to push him out of the nest and let him fly on his own.</p><p></p><p>Lots of people talk about how our kids have to learn to separate from us. It is not a one-sided process. We must learn to separate from them.</p><p></p><p>If we don't separate from them we are hurting out children and ourselves.</p><p></p><p>Just as, when he was a younger teen, you continued to have rules about his behavior and lifestyle (at least I assume you did), you now must transform those rules into ones appropriate to his new status as an adult. This includes treating you and the rest of the family respectfully and following the household rules as long as he lives in the house.</p><p></p><p>He isn't doing that and so he is making the choice to live elsewhere.</p><p></p><p>Hugs. It isn't easy or painless. But if you don't do this you are treating all parties disrespectfully. He has made his choice. Respect his choice.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="seriously, post: 457966, member: 11920"] One of my best one-liners when my 15 year old starts in about how he's going to live somewhere else is: I will love you no matter where you live. This is a true statement. You must also keep in mind that as long as you treat your son as a child and not an adult you are short changing him. You have spent your life as a parent teaching him so that he is ready to be an adult. The moment has come to push him out of the nest and let him fly on his own. Lots of people talk about how our kids have to learn to separate from us. It is not a one-sided process. We must learn to separate from them. If we don't separate from them we are hurting out children and ourselves. Just as, when he was a younger teen, you continued to have rules about his behavior and lifestyle (at least I assume you did), you now must transform those rules into ones appropriate to his new status as an adult. This includes treating you and the rest of the family respectfully and following the household rules as long as he lives in the house. He isn't doing that and so he is making the choice to live elsewhere. Hugs. It isn't easy or painless. But if you don't do this you are treating all parties disrespectfully. He has made his choice. Respect his choice. [/QUOTE]
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On the verge of a nervous breakdown
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