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Parent Emeritus
On the verge of a nervous breakdown
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 458055"><p>The rest of his life is a long time... He is young still and at an age where kids often don't like their parents much. It is a hard place to be.... my son has acted and told me at times that he will hate me forever.... I finally got to the place where I realized I had to do what I thought was best no matter how it made him feel about me. I loved him too much to just let him self destruct which is where he was headed.... and he really did head that way.... but by doing some tough love he learned some hard lessons. I always kept the door open so that he knew he could come to us in times of trouble and he has....but really it is time for him to figure out his life. Your son may very well thank you in the future for being tough.It really is not going to help him for you to bend to what he thinks he wants because you are afraid of how he will feel about you.</p><p></p><p>So think about what you think will be best for him, regardless of what he says. If he is violating all your rules then living with you is not best for him.</p><p></p><p>I got to the point where I realized I could live with him hating me for the rest of his life... it is very painful to think about but I could live with it as long as I felt I was doing the right thing. What I can't imagine livng with is my biggest fear which is he will do something so that he really does self destruct and dies. But I am getting to the point where I realize it is his life and his decision what he does with it. I can support him in good choices but that is all I am is support.</p><p></p><p>Really Alanon has been a great help to me, I highly recommend it.</p><p></p><p>TL</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 458055"] The rest of his life is a long time... He is young still and at an age where kids often don't like their parents much. It is a hard place to be.... my son has acted and told me at times that he will hate me forever.... I finally got to the place where I realized I had to do what I thought was best no matter how it made him feel about me. I loved him too much to just let him self destruct which is where he was headed.... and he really did head that way.... but by doing some tough love he learned some hard lessons. I always kept the door open so that he knew he could come to us in times of trouble and he has....but really it is time for him to figure out his life. Your son may very well thank you in the future for being tough.It really is not going to help him for you to bend to what he thinks he wants because you are afraid of how he will feel about you. So think about what you think will be best for him, regardless of what he says. If he is violating all your rules then living with you is not best for him. I got to the point where I realized I could live with him hating me for the rest of his life... it is very painful to think about but I could live with it as long as I felt I was doing the right thing. What I can't imagine livng with is my biggest fear which is he will do something so that he really does self destruct and dies. But I am getting to the point where I realize it is his life and his decision what he does with it. I can support him in good choices but that is all I am is support. Really Alanon has been a great help to me, I highly recommend it. TL [/QUOTE]
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On the verge of a nervous breakdown
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