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on the verge of giving up
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<blockquote data-quote="L3dean" data-source="post: 198534" data-attributes="member: 5987"><p>Thanks for the welcome, I am glad I finally found a group that really understands what I am going through!</p><p></p><p>and sorry about the confusion, I just posted the short version last time, because the whole story could probably be made into a book.</p><p></p><p>I do have an extremely long fuse, but it has taken me about 10+ years to get that way- and I do have paper trails almost as old as each difficult child for each kid, but I had a fire in the mobile home that the extended family had just before daughter in law joined the military, and most of my files are soot damaged as well as being with difficult child 2 across the country. So basically- I am running this thing from scratch - yet again!</p><p></p><p>I have a court appointed attorney who completely backs me, and the state CW supervisor agrees with my line of thought and desire to have ALL the puzzle pieces on the table so I can see how to get the tasks accomplished.</p><p></p><p>the problem is the 3rd party rookie CW. I still get little more than a broken record routine from her - "don't worry about that for now, we can discuss that later, case plan recommendations are...", etc.</p><p></p><p>I have tried to hint that I need a new CW, but the judge ordered mediation vs. a new person, so I am stuck trying to "educate" CW as well as try to comply with a vague, generalized case plan, with incomplete resource availabilty, because I am restricted from initiating communications with anyone and must go thru CW's approval process first, even tho CW has failed to follow thru with key instructions to other people on several occasions already.</p><p></p><p>the case plan "recommendations" (requirements) were in such a contradictory format as to render the finding of a solution impossible for a single parent to accomplish... i.e. 1) must get day job to allow adequate supervision of difficult child 3 after school and evenings when he gets home, but must get night job to allow for current day appointments (CW meetings, therapy, court dates, etc.) to be accomplished.- 2) must have stable employment and home environment, but CW wanted me to just get any job now, and switch jobs at the point of difficult child 3 coming home, 3) etc.</p><p></p><p>*do you know how hard it is to get a job when your entire job history is racked with layoffs because of family problems*? (my motto is family first, as I refuse to turn out 3 more societal leaches like their father)</p><p></p><p>so with that kind of a double jeaperdy - I decided to let everyone know about the problem facing me, and threatened to give up rights to difficult child 3 as a drastic ploy to break up the communication stalemate between me and rookie CW.</p><p></p><p>I have already submitted to a Level 3 psychiatric evaluation, as has difficult child 3, but the CW has already refused to allow me to get a copy of them- and have had 5 therapy sessions (in which, the therapist had already agreed that I don't need individual therapy).</p><p></p><p>I am out of ideas, and no one else I have talked to yet has any new information or techniques to deal with difficult child 3, as all the old parenting skills are not reaching thru to difficult child 3. so, the natural conclusion that CW steadfastly preaches is that I am the problem.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="L3dean, post: 198534, member: 5987"] Thanks for the welcome, I am glad I finally found a group that really understands what I am going through! and sorry about the confusion, I just posted the short version last time, because the whole story could probably be made into a book. I do have an extremely long fuse, but it has taken me about 10+ years to get that way- and I do have paper trails almost as old as each difficult child for each kid, but I had a fire in the mobile home that the extended family had just before daughter in law joined the military, and most of my files are soot damaged as well as being with difficult child 2 across the country. So basically- I am running this thing from scratch - yet again! I have a court appointed attorney who completely backs me, and the state CW supervisor agrees with my line of thought and desire to have ALL the puzzle pieces on the table so I can see how to get the tasks accomplished. the problem is the 3rd party rookie CW. I still get little more than a broken record routine from her - "don't worry about that for now, we can discuss that later, case plan recommendations are...", etc. I have tried to hint that I need a new CW, but the judge ordered mediation vs. a new person, so I am stuck trying to "educate" CW as well as try to comply with a vague, generalized case plan, with incomplete resource availabilty, because I am restricted from initiating communications with anyone and must go thru CW's approval process first, even tho CW has failed to follow thru with key instructions to other people on several occasions already. the case plan "recommendations" (requirements) were in such a contradictory format as to render the finding of a solution impossible for a single parent to accomplish... i.e. 1) must get day job to allow adequate supervision of difficult child 3 after school and evenings when he gets home, but must get night job to allow for current day appointments (CW meetings, therapy, court dates, etc.) to be accomplished.- 2) must have stable employment and home environment, but CW wanted me to just get any job now, and switch jobs at the point of difficult child 3 coming home, 3) etc. *do you know how hard it is to get a job when your entire job history is racked with layoffs because of family problems*? (my motto is family first, as I refuse to turn out 3 more societal leaches like their father) so with that kind of a double jeaperdy - I decided to let everyone know about the problem facing me, and threatened to give up rights to difficult child 3 as a drastic ploy to break up the communication stalemate between me and rookie CW. I have already submitted to a Level 3 psychiatric evaluation, as has difficult child 3, but the CW has already refused to allow me to get a copy of them- and have had 5 therapy sessions (in which, the therapist had already agreed that I don't need individual therapy). I am out of ideas, and no one else I have talked to yet has any new information or techniques to deal with difficult child 3, as all the old parenting skills are not reaching thru to difficult child 3. so, the natural conclusion that CW steadfastly preaches is that I am the problem. [/QUOTE]
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