One can never get to cozy, oh boy!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by mum2JK&TH, Feb 5, 2007.

  1. mum2JK&TH

    mum2JK&TH New Member

    I need a "shakes head" smiley at the moment. I have been planning to post about how well difficult child has been doing since we got his medications sorted out. We went and had a meeting with the school last week and the teachers have said that since he's been back from the xmas holidays (when we got the medications sorted out) he has been doing very well. The occasional issue, but nothing extreme. They told us that he has been doing so well, that one parent (I am guessing from his class) asked if he was no longer at the school as she hadn't heard of any problems regarding him :redface: We got medications to help him in the evening with his hockey as well and things have been going great for him there too. He is still having the tics, but they are minimal and usually in the evening when he is at home.

    So we have been enjoying a semi-normal life, haha! What was I thinking :hammer: Today he and a friend decided to cut each others hair :wildone: and he was mouthing off to his teacher. Haven't seen the haircut yet as husband picked him up from school to go straight to a doctors appointment.

    Guess one can't get too cozy with these ones :rofl: I'm not sure whether to be mad or shake my head.
  2. ediwiz

    ediwiz Member


    I think I would just shake my head.. My oldest easy child cut his own hair before school when he was about 9 years old. I had to leave for work early that day so I asked a neighbor to make sure that he made the bus. Needless to say he wore a hat so the neighbor didn't see the "self inflicted" hair cut, but his teacher called me during her lunch. Trying to contain her laughter, she told my I might want to make a hair appointment for easy child. She said it was all she could do to keep from bursting out laughing while she was trying to teach. My husband was the first home and called me to tell me that he told easy child that I would probably kill him, but maybe they should take a picture to remember this moment by. I still have the picture. by the way, our hair stylist had to practically give him a buzz cut. He had cut sections down to the scalp and had tufts of hair sticking out other places. Poor baby, I had to keep leaving the room so I wouldn't bruise his little ego. :rofl:

  3. lordhelpme

    lordhelpme New Member

    oh i guess we can all take a lesson about 'getting cozy'! you have to lol at the hair cutting as i can see this happening to easy child kids too! i think it is still a blessing that you made it a whole mth with-o something happening. let us know how the hair cut turned out!
  4. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I think it is something that happens in many families. I remember when difficult child cut his hair :wildone:Sorry he was mouthing off to his teacher. Hopefully he will be back on track tomorrow!
  5. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    Aw heck, I was one of those kids. :redface:

    I've always cut my hair. My first botch job was when I was 5. :wildone:

    It drives my hairdresser nuts now and drove my parents nuts when I was a kid. I think I might have a touch of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) or something because I can't stand it if a hair is going goofy. I've learned that I can't wear bangs because eventually I *trim* them to the point where I end up looking like Mamie Eisenhower :redface:(yes, I know that is dating me-lol).

    This is a great "first lesson" for your difficult child in natural consequences. :cool:

    Suz :princess:
  6. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Oh, everyone's got to cut their own hair at one point, LOL!

    I was a easy child and cut my own, out of frustration, after my mom complained about my "too long hair" for the upteen-millionth time. I thought, "I'll show her!"

    My daughter did it to one of her Barbie dolls but I can't recall whether she did it to her own hair... isn't it funny how you forget things like that? I'm sure it was a huge deal at the time.

    Some friends bought our kids funny grass head people. They are round balls of seeds with-strings like tails. You soak them in water and they eventually sprout grass. The kids had hysterics when it came time to cut their hair... uh, grass. Whatever.

    But, I digress... I think your hammer-over-the-head smiley is perfectly appropriate!
  7. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Mouthiness & cutting of one's hair is sooooo a rite of passage for our difficult children - for any kid. :hammer: :rofl:

    I'm not trying to make light of your concerns, but step back & look at the big picture. Is there a big escalation of out of control behaviors? Growth spurt that psychiatrist needs to be made aware of?

    kt & wm cut their own hair a week before school pictures when they were in 3rd grade. kt hacked off her hair with a pair of kid scissors - wm decided to use husband's beard trimmer. They each had very very short hair for school pictures. :rofl:

    Hope things settle down with difficult child. :warrior:
  8. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    We just went through this before the holidays. :redface: Thankfully it wasn't too noticeable as Duckie's teacher realized what was happening pretty quickly. You have some choices if it's bad: a hat & natural consequences OR a haircut/brush cut. At least he's a boy, so it's easier to get away with short hair. I'd probably opt for this rather than making him wear a "funny" cut to school since he's already socially at risk (just my .02 there).
  9. amy4129

    amy4129 New Member

    the boys do this on a regular basis, Corey more than Ken.
    they are on a first name bases with the clippers and a number 1 blade(very short).
  10. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    Yep most all kids cut their hair. Many many postings on it here over the years.
    Now it is just about damage control. Try to fix it as best as you can and let nature fill in the rest. -RM
  11. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    The hair-cutting - I think all my kids did something similar.

    The mouthing off at a teacher - whenever I hear this I worry, because I've seen too many incidents where the teacher was the trigger, or certainly escalated the problem. Especially with difficult children, I think teachers need to back off a bit more and not try to insist on A1 perfect manners. Because then they're setting themselves up for a fall and being publicly embarrassed, and a teacher can't let that go without losing the respect of the other kids. well, some teachers anyway.

    I always dig deep when I hear that my child was rude to a staff member. While I've publicly backed up the school, I've usually also gone in and talked to the staff member about how the situation could be avoided in future, because in just about every case, it was the staff member who set off difficult child 3.

    I've sat in school offices while waiting for an appointment and heard some appalling things said by teachers to students. Occasionally a student would try to defend themselves and end up on detention for 'mouthing off'. In one case this was happening as we were trying to decide what to do about difficult child 1's education. We pulled him out of that school the same morning and the teacher 'telling off' the students was a big factor in my decision. It was symptomatic of the school's treatment of the students in general.

    An example of a teacher handling this sort of situation well - difficult child 3 was about 6 and doing much better with his speech. He was also doing better with turn-taking, which had also been an issue. The kids were playing a game where they had to take turns, based on how well they could complete the game. difficult child 3 was 'in' and enjoying himself, when he tripped. Instead of the tantrums they used to see, he handed the baton over to the next kid, although he also loudly said, "oh b*gg*r, I lost!"
    Some teachers would have reprimanded the language, but since he was doing everything else right (including being a good sport) the teacher let it slide. Not only had he willingly passed the baton, but he had accepted defeat without a tantrum AND used a complete sentence.
    If she'd punished his language (which in Australian terms is not that strong) it would have undermined everything.

  12. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    So, now you can exhale. Seriously, it will come up now and then - that holding of the breath when something happens with a difficult child. I think it does get better in time though. My difficult child is currently freaking out that I will not give her $5 - I could care less. 2 years ago I would have been a bundle of nerves over it.
  13. mum2JK&TH

    mum2JK&TH New Member

    Well, I guess I am still on the semi-normal. difficult child tells me that during lunch and inside recess there is no teacher in the classroom, it is a couple of Gr. 6's (this time 3 and one on a big ego trip /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/919Mad.gif, you can only imagine why now...

    Turns out that another boy came up behind him and cut his hair while he was talking to a friend :smile:. So that was good, he didn't start it, and with the mop of hair he has, it's not noticable. However, he retaliated by cutting the kids hair back, although said it was very, very little. Not his best moment, but again, at least he didn't start it.

    The mouthing off was a result of this egotistic boy picking on everything difficult child was doing. Seems difficult child did a couple things that he claims weren't bad and each time this boy would write on the board 2 mins. Seems the boy then threatened to add more time and difficult child said "Fine, go ahead" The boy preceeded to write it and then when difficult child said whatever the boy said "Why don't you write it then" So difficult child went to the board and beside his name wrote the infinity sign (I was beaming when I heard he knew how to write that, :rofl:). Anyways, because of his time on the board he had to walk with the teacher for the final recess and the teacher gave him a hard time about what happened and that is when he mouthed off. I can't say that I'm surprised and I don't really blame him. I have a real issue with 11 yr olds watching a classroom full of 9 yr olds. Heck, I'm not allowed to look after more than 5 children in my daycare and I'm a heck of a lot older than 11! /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/919Mad.gif So I have put a call into the school...we'll see what happens.

    I am lucky that difficult child doesn't hide things. He is the kind of kid that even if he knows he's going to get into trouble, he tells. After he told me what happened, he said "Ok mum, what is my punishment going to be?" He may be a handful but he's an honest handful :smile:
  14. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    Christine, I'm an adult volunteer at Duckie's school and I'm not allowed to be in a supervisory position over the children. A staff member (teacher or aide) is to be present at all times a volunteer is in contact with students.