one minute it's his idea and he likes it next second he hates it

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by EStephens, Aug 25, 2012.

  1. EStephens

    EStephens New Member

    difficult child got to grow his hair out all summer long. (I don't despise long hair on boys, just not super crazy about the not being able to see eyeballs.). With school starting he had to get a hair cut because at his school his hair can not go past his ears or touch the collar of his shirt. His counselor told him she would like to see how much hair was cut, so to ask the barber to sweep it up and put it in a Baggie for her to see. (I found that really awkward.). So, for him it was a great idea and we carried a Baggie around with us for a week in case he was in a good enough mood to get a haircut.
    He really despises people touching him in general, and combing his hair and the barber collar/ gown (I don't know what it's called, a cape maybe?) the whole experience he says feels like he is being strangled and forced to watch it in a mirror.
    Yesterday we couldn't wait any longer so we bebop into a barber shop. The lady was awesome!! I told her that he was going to flinch and make questionable facial expressions but to know that she was not harming him. Thankfully she has a niece who is Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) so she kinda knew what to expect.
    difficult child was a PERFECT gentleman and answers all questions with yes ma'am no ma'am please and thank you. He did however want his head shaved. Mom vetoed that. He has a pretty head but God did not give him that fabulous color of hair for us to shave his head. in my humble opinion. (His hair is dark brown with natural auburn highlights. It is some pretty hair for a boy. )
    He got a little boy haircut ad it looks fabulous!!! He even smiled at the lady and told her she did a great job. She swept up all the hair and it filled a quart Baggie. Smh.
    Flash forward 45 minutes til now, he hates his haircut, I never listen to what he wants, I love pcs more then him, and I shouldn't have let the lady cut his hair because she didn't do anything right.
    Anybody else's kiddos do this???
  2. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    My first question is "what else is REALLY bothering him?" These are the types of things difficult child 1 will do and it usually turns out that what he's whining about isn't the real thing he's upset about. For difficult child 1, the truth usually comes out in a meltdown "blurt".
  3. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    And way too often, the "truth" isn't about what HAS happened... it's anxiety. Like... school is starting. The hair-cut is because of school starting, so now the reality is "in his face" 24/7 and... anxiety kicks in. At least, that would be the story in my house.
  4. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    On second thought, it could also be that it took that long for it to set in. His counselor wanted to see how much hair was cut off so he wanted as much off as possible (how much more can you take off than a buzz cut) and then mom says no (change in plan) so he has to settle for something else but the anxiety is dominating through the actual cut so he can't think about it. Once he's home and the anxiety has abated and he has the time and energy to think about it, how he really felt about mom's no comes out. I can see that happening with difficult child 1.
  5. EStephens

    EStephens New Member

    To be honest I am just lost in the sauce. He says he liked how his long hair felt on his pillow when he went to sleep.
    It is probably a little of all of it.
  6. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    My daughter still does that, and she just turned 21. Hugs...I understand.
  7. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    difficult child does this alot. He's screaming and carrying on about the fact that I have no ice cream in the freezer that he really likes, when the problem really is that he's nervous and anxious about something else. The start of school, the big math test that's coming up, the girl in the lunch room that is bothering him. You get the idea.

    I think that the start of school is a terrible time for all kids, but it's really bad for difficult child kids. The anxiety is terrible for them and maybe now that he got his hair cut and he knows that the start of the new school year is just around the corner this is how he is showing it.