welcometowitsend
Member
Let me start by saying that aside from the suicidal thoughts a few weeks ago - which seem to have subsided and have not been an issue since I took him to the hospital - things have been going pretty well with difficult child.
He went to work with husband last week and did well. Got along with the guys on the job, followed instructions, thought ahead so husband wasn't always telling him what to do and was generally very 'on the ball'. He was not perfect - annoying to his sister, didn't put his clean clothes away despite me asking him every day for a week, had food in his room - small stuff that I didn't harp about. Mostly because things have been calm and pleasant and I'd like to keep them that way so I don't want to irritate or annoy him by making too many demands - ie. I'm walking on eggshells.
He decided he wanted Nickelback concert tickets with the money he made. So, every time he said he wanted the tickets I said "Ok, go online, pick out your seats and I will purchase them on my credit card and then you can give me the cash." Didn't do it, didn't do it - for about 3/4 days. Finally, I went online, picked out tickets, asked them if they were ok and ordered them. No problem - he gave me the money but I was at my mom's on my iPad so I couldn't print them. Told difficult child to write down the reference number and bring it home to print them at home.
He was in a bit of a mood yesterday so to try and get him out of it my mom took him and easy child out for ice cream. After he came home he said he wanted his concert tickets printed NOW. I was busy doing something on the computer and said I'll do it later - and besides the internet is not turned on right now. It went downhill from there because there was no immediate gratification for difficult child. He informed me that he was going to turn the wifi on whether I liked it or not and print off his tickets. So, I said fine, print your tickets but the wifi goes back off in 15 minutes.
Then he realized he left the ref# at grandma's and starts yelling at me that if she threw the paper out and he couldn't print his tickets that I would have to give him his money back. He hadn't even called gma yet and he's already freaking out on me and demanding his money. So, I finally get him to call gma and he gets the number. Spends another 10 minutes arguing with me about irrational nonsense until I finally tell him he has about 5 minutes left to print his tickets and does he want to waste them arguing? The wifi is going back off when I said I was going to turn it off.
Well, apparently he needed my account name and password to print the tickets and I wasn't prepared to tell him that information although he certainly felt entitled to it. Now, this is a kid who has a lock on the cell phone that I pay for so I can't check it and a lock on his laptop that I pay for so I can't check on that either. And he can't understand why I won't give him my password? And he was dead serious - he was entitled to this information because he paid for the tickets but that was completely different than his phone or laptop.
He then calls me a b#@$%^ and an f'n piece of work.
Anyway, I wasn't prepared to print the tickets at that moment and he was really aggravating me so I said "Well, it will have to wait until later because I'm busy right now and there is no rush for the tickets - the concert isn't for another 3 days."
From this he assumes that I'm refusing to print his tickets - EVER and that I'm screwing him over and he wants his money back, even if he has to steal it (he's stolen from us and easy child before). Long story short he continued to badger, badger, argue, argue and not let up for 4+ hours at which time he left on his bicycle because husband had finally had enough and told him he could find his own ride to the concert. By this time he'd lost his wifi and cell phone privileges as well so the only way he could talk to his friend was to go to her house because using the house phone was not an option as far as he was concerned.
We ended up going out for ice cream because difficult child messed up our plans to go on a family bike ride and we wanted to me it up to easy child. After ice cream we stopped at difficult child's friends place to pick him up. I didn't want him coming home so late at night on an 80km/hour road that is not lit. Based on something he said later that evening I believe he made the assumption that the reason we were all in the car to pick him up was because we were all very distraught that he'd left and we were prepared to 'beg' him to come home. He did this last time he left too. We told him that we wanted him to come home and follow the rules and work things out - so he did - but he took that to mean we 'begged' him to come home and that we'd do anything to keep him home, including letting him do whatever he wants.
He did apologize a couple of times throughout the day but I think the apologies were only because he knew he was jeopardizing rides/phone privileges, etc.. I don't think he actually meant them because he would continue to argue right after apologizing.
Later in the evening he apologized yet again but this time he seemed more rational so I decide to try and talk to him about improving his coping skills. I have purchased a couple of books and a journal for him but he won't read them. I tell him that in order to earn back his phone, wifi and rides that he will have to start reading these books, sharing his findings and making an effort at learning coping skills. OK he says but I'm 16 and I am the way I am and I can tweak a couple of things but this is basically what you're gonna get. Uh, NO. You can choose to make changes in your life and in your behaviour - people do it all the time.
Anyway, I asked him if he had any insight into why he has a temper tantrum like a toddler when he doesn't get exactly what he wants, when he wants it. That turned into a huge rant and freak out on me because "I called him a toddler." Not sure if he missed the point on purpose or by accident but he goes off on these tangents ALL the time and you can't get him back on track at all. Discussions with difficult child always turn into this kind of thing no matter how he is approached. It is so frustrating.
Just wondering if this sounds Aspie to any of you? I just don't know. In some ways he is not Aspie at all and in other ways conversations like this really make me wonder if someone can be that irrational and not be something?
He went to work with husband last week and did well. Got along with the guys on the job, followed instructions, thought ahead so husband wasn't always telling him what to do and was generally very 'on the ball'. He was not perfect - annoying to his sister, didn't put his clean clothes away despite me asking him every day for a week, had food in his room - small stuff that I didn't harp about. Mostly because things have been calm and pleasant and I'd like to keep them that way so I don't want to irritate or annoy him by making too many demands - ie. I'm walking on eggshells.
He decided he wanted Nickelback concert tickets with the money he made. So, every time he said he wanted the tickets I said "Ok, go online, pick out your seats and I will purchase them on my credit card and then you can give me the cash." Didn't do it, didn't do it - for about 3/4 days. Finally, I went online, picked out tickets, asked them if they were ok and ordered them. No problem - he gave me the money but I was at my mom's on my iPad so I couldn't print them. Told difficult child to write down the reference number and bring it home to print them at home.
He was in a bit of a mood yesterday so to try and get him out of it my mom took him and easy child out for ice cream. After he came home he said he wanted his concert tickets printed NOW. I was busy doing something on the computer and said I'll do it later - and besides the internet is not turned on right now. It went downhill from there because there was no immediate gratification for difficult child. He informed me that he was going to turn the wifi on whether I liked it or not and print off his tickets. So, I said fine, print your tickets but the wifi goes back off in 15 minutes.
Then he realized he left the ref# at grandma's and starts yelling at me that if she threw the paper out and he couldn't print his tickets that I would have to give him his money back. He hadn't even called gma yet and he's already freaking out on me and demanding his money. So, I finally get him to call gma and he gets the number. Spends another 10 minutes arguing with me about irrational nonsense until I finally tell him he has about 5 minutes left to print his tickets and does he want to waste them arguing? The wifi is going back off when I said I was going to turn it off.
Well, apparently he needed my account name and password to print the tickets and I wasn't prepared to tell him that information although he certainly felt entitled to it. Now, this is a kid who has a lock on the cell phone that I pay for so I can't check it and a lock on his laptop that I pay for so I can't check on that either. And he can't understand why I won't give him my password? And he was dead serious - he was entitled to this information because he paid for the tickets but that was completely different than his phone or laptop.
He then calls me a b#@$%^ and an f'n piece of work.
Anyway, I wasn't prepared to print the tickets at that moment and he was really aggravating me so I said "Well, it will have to wait until later because I'm busy right now and there is no rush for the tickets - the concert isn't for another 3 days."
From this he assumes that I'm refusing to print his tickets - EVER and that I'm screwing him over and he wants his money back, even if he has to steal it (he's stolen from us and easy child before). Long story short he continued to badger, badger, argue, argue and not let up for 4+ hours at which time he left on his bicycle because husband had finally had enough and told him he could find his own ride to the concert. By this time he'd lost his wifi and cell phone privileges as well so the only way he could talk to his friend was to go to her house because using the house phone was not an option as far as he was concerned.
We ended up going out for ice cream because difficult child messed up our plans to go on a family bike ride and we wanted to me it up to easy child. After ice cream we stopped at difficult child's friends place to pick him up. I didn't want him coming home so late at night on an 80km/hour road that is not lit. Based on something he said later that evening I believe he made the assumption that the reason we were all in the car to pick him up was because we were all very distraught that he'd left and we were prepared to 'beg' him to come home. He did this last time he left too. We told him that we wanted him to come home and follow the rules and work things out - so he did - but he took that to mean we 'begged' him to come home and that we'd do anything to keep him home, including letting him do whatever he wants.
He did apologize a couple of times throughout the day but I think the apologies were only because he knew he was jeopardizing rides/phone privileges, etc.. I don't think he actually meant them because he would continue to argue right after apologizing.
Later in the evening he apologized yet again but this time he seemed more rational so I decide to try and talk to him about improving his coping skills. I have purchased a couple of books and a journal for him but he won't read them. I tell him that in order to earn back his phone, wifi and rides that he will have to start reading these books, sharing his findings and making an effort at learning coping skills. OK he says but I'm 16 and I am the way I am and I can tweak a couple of things but this is basically what you're gonna get. Uh, NO. You can choose to make changes in your life and in your behaviour - people do it all the time.
Anyway, I asked him if he had any insight into why he has a temper tantrum like a toddler when he doesn't get exactly what he wants, when he wants it. That turned into a huge rant and freak out on me because "I called him a toddler." Not sure if he missed the point on purpose or by accident but he goes off on these tangents ALL the time and you can't get him back on track at all. Discussions with difficult child always turn into this kind of thing no matter how he is approached. It is so frustrating.
Just wondering if this sounds Aspie to any of you? I just don't know. In some ways he is not Aspie at all and in other ways conversations like this really make me wonder if someone can be that irrational and not be something?
