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<blockquote data-quote="flutterbee" data-source="post: 203883"><p>The board jinx strikes again. Ok, not really. We're not really 'there' yet, but tonight was another of those angst filled nights that we haven't had in a bit. Which of course is all relative because I really have no concept of time anymore.</p><p></p><p>I just don't know what to do with it. She's miserable, she's unhappy, she doesn't have any friends, she never gets to go out and have fun. She completely resists any and all possible resolutions. She's stupid, she's going to fail, school is stupid, she can't do it (she tests above average in all subject areas), she gets angry and frustrated with it and she can't help it and she can't help how she reacts to it - she has no control over it. She's shutting down tonight. </p><p></p><p>She's not 4. I can't schedule playdates and fun activities. I do things to get her out of the house, but with my health that is limited. Told her that if she keeps doing what she has been doing, she's going to get the same results. If she wants different results, she has to do something different - step outside her comfort zone. She can't. I'm not her, I don't know and I don't believe her when she says she can't. Told her that can't is a stopper word and there is nothing I can do with the word "can't"...that it limits all possibilities.</p><p></p><p>Talked about going back to regular school beginning of next quarter (about 2 weeks) so it would be a change of focus, get her out of the house, get her around her peers, etc. She can't start in the middle of the year. Asked her to think about it when she's not emotional so she can think objectively, to consider the pros and cons. She has, she can't do it, everyone teases her about something. Reminded her that the kids are older now, as is she, and they have matured and 8th grade is a lot different than 6th grade in that respect. </p><p></p><p>I don't know what to do with this. I cannot fix it for her. And I just don't know how to get her out to do what she needs to do to help herself.</p><p></p><p>Any advice, ideas, anything at all is welcome. She has so much potential. Something has to change.</p><p></p><p>TIA.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="flutterbee, post: 203883"] The board jinx strikes again. Ok, not really. We're not really 'there' yet, but tonight was another of those angst filled nights that we haven't had in a bit. Which of course is all relative because I really have no concept of time anymore. I just don't know what to do with it. She's miserable, she's unhappy, she doesn't have any friends, she never gets to go out and have fun. She completely resists any and all possible resolutions. She's stupid, she's going to fail, school is stupid, she can't do it (she tests above average in all subject areas), she gets angry and frustrated with it and she can't help it and she can't help how she reacts to it - she has no control over it. She's shutting down tonight. She's not 4. I can't schedule playdates and fun activities. I do things to get her out of the house, but with my health that is limited. Told her that if she keeps doing what she has been doing, she's going to get the same results. If she wants different results, she has to do something different - step outside her comfort zone. She can't. I'm not her, I don't know and I don't believe her when she says she can't. Told her that can't is a stopper word and there is nothing I can do with the word "can't"...that it limits all possibilities. Talked about going back to regular school beginning of next quarter (about 2 weeks) so it would be a change of focus, get her out of the house, get her around her peers, etc. She can't start in the middle of the year. Asked her to think about it when she's not emotional so she can think objectively, to consider the pros and cons. She has, she can't do it, everyone teases her about something. Reminded her that the kids are older now, as is she, and they have matured and 8th grade is a lot different than 6th grade in that respect. I don't know what to do with this. I cannot fix it for her. And I just don't know how to get her out to do what she needs to do to help herself. Any advice, ideas, anything at all is welcome. She has so much potential. Something has to change. TIA. [/QUOTE]
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