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Parent Emeritus
One Year Later-lots has happened, nothing has changed, at the end of my rope
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<blockquote data-quote="dstc_99" data-source="post: 631780" data-attributes="member: 15473"><p>Scott,</p><p>I am so sorry to hear this. I know we all hope that they will get better and things will change. My husband and I have differing opinions on how to handle difficult child and I have had to step back and stay out of it. As long as husband's decisions with difficult child don't affect me negatively I try to keep my opinions to myself. In your case however your wifes decisions seem to be financially affecting your family. You could detach and allow your wife to do what she is going to do without getting emotionally involved. You could set your few base rules and then as long as she doesn't cross them just ignore the rest.</p><p> </p><p>In my opinion enabling a person is as difficult to stop as being a drug addict. It makes you feel good for a short time, then you feel like crap, then you scramble around trying to find it all over again. Your wife is in that cycle and you want off. Unfortunately just because you are a recovering enable doesn't mean that she is there yet. Just like a drug addict she has to hit her wall and want to change. I would sit her down and let her know what your feelings are. Then I would go from there.</p><p> </p><p>Good luck!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="dstc_99, post: 631780, member: 15473"] Scott, I am so sorry to hear this. I know we all hope that they will get better and things will change. My husband and I have differing opinions on how to handle difficult child and I have had to step back and stay out of it. As long as husband's decisions with difficult child don't affect me negatively I try to keep my opinions to myself. In your case however your wifes decisions seem to be financially affecting your family. You could detach and allow your wife to do what she is going to do without getting emotionally involved. You could set your few base rules and then as long as she doesn't cross them just ignore the rest. In my opinion enabling a person is as difficult to stop as being a drug addict. It makes you feel good for a short time, then you feel like crap, then you scramble around trying to find it all over again. Your wife is in that cycle and you want off. Unfortunately just because you are a recovering enable doesn't mean that she is there yet. Just like a drug addict she has to hit her wall and want to change. I would sit her down and let her know what your feelings are. Then I would go from there. Good luck! [/QUOTE]
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One Year Later-lots has happened, nothing has changed, at the end of my rope
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