Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Oops, my bad!
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Robinboots" data-source="post: 332735" data-attributes="member: 4542"><p>Thanks, Marg, and I'm sorry if I came off a bit ticked. My difficult child is 17, which here in the US means he CAN be prosecuted as an adult if he screws up, legally speaking. Right now he's on probation as a juvenile because last spring he hit me and yes, I pressed charges. Only way we could start to get some help.</p><p></p><p>He probably wasn't tired from the episode, tho, more likely he stayed up very late online. Or, like you said, maybe it was just a blip. I try not to talk about things unless HE approaches me, and is reasonable and calm; husband and I prefer to have witnesses, after all he's put us thru the last couple years.</p><p></p><p>Last spring he blew thru his money (typical, for him, but this time it was a bank account). I had to pay $350, as I said. He's always had issues with this, living in the moment and all. It's just a bigger issue now, because he has a car payment, and insurance, and a phone - and needs gas money. He's not on disability, so no recourse there even if we have that here in the US.</p><p></p><p>His issues are CD, maybe Auditory Processing Disorders (APD). Goes back to the psychiatrist in a month or so. Speaking of, they didn't call me back last week so I'll call them tomorrow.</p><p></p><p>What we decided was to take his checks, he's supposed to be setting up direct deposit, and give him $75 gas money and 10% of his checks (2 jobs) for spending money. Those things he is supposed to budget, himself, and we do nothing. 10% is long-term savings, and the rest is just saving - for stuff like wiper blades.</p><p></p><p>If he had come to me and been calm and reasonable, I could have said: I'm on deadline, I have a lot of [whatever] to do, but I'll holler at ya in [1 hour, 2, whatever] and we'll take a look at them.</p><p></p><p>He did not. It was straight off the bat, right into it, verbal smackdown time.</p><p></p><p>The worst part is that it throws me off for the whole day. I keep telling myself it's no big deal, get over it, etc., but it doesn't work - I lose my concentration, get more tense, etc. Seems like it shouldn't affect me like that, not every time, not when he isn't even threatening or violent. Maybe it's comparable to spousal abuse, Know what I mean?? My first husband did that a lot - just verbal put-downs, nagging, jumping all over me.</p><p></p><p>Anyway, husband did speak to him this evening...difficult child didn't respond much, but he came out for dinner and has been watching TV with us. Pleasant enough when addressed, but I asked about a couple things and he was pretty terse.</p><p></p><p>Not looking forward to tomorrow....</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Robinboots, post: 332735, member: 4542"] Thanks, Marg, and I'm sorry if I came off a bit ticked. My difficult child is 17, which here in the US means he CAN be prosecuted as an adult if he screws up, legally speaking. Right now he's on probation as a juvenile because last spring he hit me and yes, I pressed charges. Only way we could start to get some help. He probably wasn't tired from the episode, tho, more likely he stayed up very late online. Or, like you said, maybe it was just a blip. I try not to talk about things unless HE approaches me, and is reasonable and calm; husband and I prefer to have witnesses, after all he's put us thru the last couple years. Last spring he blew thru his money (typical, for him, but this time it was a bank account). I had to pay $350, as I said. He's always had issues with this, living in the moment and all. It's just a bigger issue now, because he has a car payment, and insurance, and a phone - and needs gas money. He's not on disability, so no recourse there even if we have that here in the US. His issues are CD, maybe Auditory Processing Disorders (APD). Goes back to the psychiatrist in a month or so. Speaking of, they didn't call me back last week so I'll call them tomorrow. What we decided was to take his checks, he's supposed to be setting up direct deposit, and give him $75 gas money and 10% of his checks (2 jobs) for spending money. Those things he is supposed to budget, himself, and we do nothing. 10% is long-term savings, and the rest is just saving - for stuff like wiper blades. If he had come to me and been calm and reasonable, I could have said: I'm on deadline, I have a lot of [whatever] to do, but I'll holler at ya in [1 hour, 2, whatever] and we'll take a look at them. He did not. It was straight off the bat, right into it, verbal smackdown time. The worst part is that it throws me off for the whole day. I keep telling myself it's no big deal, get over it, etc., but it doesn't work - I lose my concentration, get more tense, etc. Seems like it shouldn't affect me like that, not every time, not when he isn't even threatening or violent. Maybe it's comparable to spousal abuse, Know what I mean?? My first husband did that a lot - just verbal put-downs, nagging, jumping all over me. Anyway, husband did speak to him this evening...difficult child didn't respond much, but he came out for dinner and has been watching TV with us. Pleasant enough when addressed, but I asked about a couple things and he was pretty terse. Not looking forward to tomorrow.... [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Oops, my bad!
Top