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Opinions needed from those who know difficult child's hx!!!
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<blockquote data-quote="slsh" data-source="post: 430274" data-attributes="member: 8"><p>I think Residential Treatment Center (RTC) - one with a heavy emphasis on transitional life skills if you can find one so that the goal will be difficult child's independence, not his return to live permanently at your home.</p><p></p><p>Just my sense of your kid, klmno, but I think he's going to be "angry" regardless of what placement you go for (home/group home/Residential Treatment Center (RTC)). There will be rules that he has to follow, and that's going to tick him off OR he's simply not going to follow them and dig himself yet a deeper hole. I do think some kids do comparatively better in settings where there's not an emotional attachment to housemates. thank you was one of them (I did say "comparatively better", LOL). And to be perfectly honest, it was a relief not to be blamed by him for every one of his bad choices... well, okay, I was still blamed for them ("If you'd just let me live at home, I wouldn't XYZ") but I didn't have to live with- the blame 24/7. My mantra to thank you for the last 2 years of his childhood was "Show me the money" - I don't want to hear about how things *will* be different, I want to see that they *are* different and *then* we can talk about him coming home. Never happened. Who knows if it was for the best for him - probably was because he's developed some ... well, I guess you could call them life skills, but they're about as goofy as they come, but he's not homeless so I guess that's a skill. It was probably for the best for the other kids. It was Hades on earth for husband and I.</p><p></p><p>Do you think he's made some changes to his thinking? Do you think he's willing to accept limits now? Do you think he's getting the self-control to get on with creating a life for himself? Or is it going to be more of the same at home with- him? It goes against the grain of motherhood, but you have to think of yourself, too. You have the right to be safe in your own home.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="slsh, post: 430274, member: 8"] I think Residential Treatment Center (RTC) - one with a heavy emphasis on transitional life skills if you can find one so that the goal will be difficult child's independence, not his return to live permanently at your home. Just my sense of your kid, klmno, but I think he's going to be "angry" regardless of what placement you go for (home/group home/Residential Treatment Center (RTC)). There will be rules that he has to follow, and that's going to tick him off OR he's simply not going to follow them and dig himself yet a deeper hole. I do think some kids do comparatively better in settings where there's not an emotional attachment to housemates. thank you was one of them (I did say "comparatively better", LOL). And to be perfectly honest, it was a relief not to be blamed by him for every one of his bad choices... well, okay, I was still blamed for them ("If you'd just let me live at home, I wouldn't XYZ") but I didn't have to live with- the blame 24/7. My mantra to thank you for the last 2 years of his childhood was "Show me the money" - I don't want to hear about how things *will* be different, I want to see that they *are* different and *then* we can talk about him coming home. Never happened. Who knows if it was for the best for him - probably was because he's developed some ... well, I guess you could call them life skills, but they're about as goofy as they come, but he's not homeless so I guess that's a skill. It was probably for the best for the other kids. It was Hades on earth for husband and I. Do you think he's made some changes to his thinking? Do you think he's willing to accept limits now? Do you think he's getting the self-control to get on with creating a life for himself? Or is it going to be more of the same at home with- him? It goes against the grain of motherhood, but you have to think of yourself, too. You have the right to be safe in your own home. [/QUOTE]
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