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Opinions needed from those who know difficult child's hx!!!
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 430336" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>klmno, </p><p> </p><p>I think he needs to go straight from jail to job core or the military. The last time they sent him 'straight' home? It went so fast from bad to worse you didn't even have a chance to blink. THEN? There was a boatload of playing 'lets blame the Mom." and how much fun was that? Out of all the years I've known you I can't say I've ever seen you at your lowest save for then. You were about a banana peel slip from going off the deep end, and who could blame you? I was worried about BOTH of you. He was out of control, pulling kniveson you and over what? I remember. It was nuts. Pure chaos. </p><p> </p><p>So now? THEY have lost the file, and he's NO BETTER, but gosh oh golly lets send him back home? (insert inaudible curse words here) Lemme see - he's 2 years older, 2 years bigger, 2 years more 'gang' affiliated, stronger, savy, and you are finally at peace - and they want to just send him home without any skills, or game plan? Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm no and not just no - H no. These people need to get a plan in place FOR THIS YOUNG MAN. This has very little to do right now with you. I get it - you are the Mom, but THIS IS ABOUT HIM - having skills to support himself and be on his own in 2 years. Cause he's NOT going to live with you. PERIOD. That ship has sailed and I think everyone should just get used to that. You, him - them. Done. You do what he did to your Mom - and the door kinda shuts - and you need to move on. Know what I mean?? klmno? </p><p> </p><p>So yeah- I've been here, and you know it's not that I don't love him either. I'll talk to him 24/7 - but he needs to mend a LOT LOT LOT of bridges before he thinks about home sweet home - he needs to be thinking about life skills, job skills graduation - job core, military - what and HOW he's going to support himself. Not - how do I get back home so Mom can support me and buy my cigarettes - it's obvious that coming home and making good on going to school, getting a job blah blah blah wasn't HIS priority - just getting out and 'hanging' appears to be his agenda. Neither of you need THAT. </p><p> </p><p>You're doing very good now with your VOICE - USE IT kiddo. And use it to make sure that your son - continues to move towards becoming a man. Yup - even at 16 going on 17. Sounds a little harsh to others I'm sure - not their problem - THEY didn't have to live with him and they won't have to live WITH him whenever. YOU WILL. Just like me - and this is where Dude and I parted company as well. He did come back on and off - for a few brief weeks but basically at 16? He was out. Wasn't my choice either - his behavior made HIS choices. </p><p> </p><p>Hugs to ya - nothing about our kids is ever easy. </p><p> </p><p>Stand your ground....it's finally peaceful ground - you've earned it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 430336, member: 4964"] klmno, I think he needs to go straight from jail to job core or the military. The last time they sent him 'straight' home? It went so fast from bad to worse you didn't even have a chance to blink. THEN? There was a boatload of playing 'lets blame the Mom." and how much fun was that? Out of all the years I've known you I can't say I've ever seen you at your lowest save for then. You were about a banana peel slip from going off the deep end, and who could blame you? I was worried about BOTH of you. He was out of control, pulling kniveson you and over what? I remember. It was nuts. Pure chaos. So now? THEY have lost the file, and he's NO BETTER, but gosh oh golly lets send him back home? (insert inaudible curse words here) Lemme see - he's 2 years older, 2 years bigger, 2 years more 'gang' affiliated, stronger, savy, and you are finally at peace - and they want to just send him home without any skills, or game plan? Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm no and not just no - H no. These people need to get a plan in place FOR THIS YOUNG MAN. This has very little to do right now with you. I get it - you are the Mom, but THIS IS ABOUT HIM - having skills to support himself and be on his own in 2 years. Cause he's NOT going to live with you. PERIOD. That ship has sailed and I think everyone should just get used to that. You, him - them. Done. You do what he did to your Mom - and the door kinda shuts - and you need to move on. Know what I mean?? klmno? So yeah- I've been here, and you know it's not that I don't love him either. I'll talk to him 24/7 - but he needs to mend a LOT LOT LOT of bridges before he thinks about home sweet home - he needs to be thinking about life skills, job skills graduation - job core, military - what and HOW he's going to support himself. Not - how do I get back home so Mom can support me and buy my cigarettes - it's obvious that coming home and making good on going to school, getting a job blah blah blah wasn't HIS priority - just getting out and 'hanging' appears to be his agenda. Neither of you need THAT. You're doing very good now with your VOICE - USE IT kiddo. And use it to make sure that your son - continues to move towards becoming a man. Yup - even at 16 going on 17. Sounds a little harsh to others I'm sure - not their problem - THEY didn't have to live with him and they won't have to live WITH him whenever. YOU WILL. Just like me - and this is where Dude and I parted company as well. He did come back on and off - for a few brief weeks but basically at 16? He was out. Wasn't my choice either - his behavior made HIS choices. Hugs to ya - nothing about our kids is ever easy. Stand your ground....it's finally peaceful ground - you've earned it. [/QUOTE]
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