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Opinions needed from those who know difficult child's hx!!!
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 430620" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I so truly HATE that PO and GAL that were in charge of your son's journey through the legal system. I think there ought to be a way to hold them accountable because, in my opinion and in the opinion of any reasonable person who remembers all that went on, they did all they possibly could to make sure he didn't trust you, would not obey or respect your authority, and went to Department of Juvenile Justice. I still believe that the laws that mean you cannot sue them for their abuse and neglect of both of you is wrong. Of course all that added to a dollar still won't get you a cup of coffee most places. But it is my opinion.</p><p></p><p>I think that Residential Treatment Center (RTC) would be better than home. There is nothing that will make it a good idea for him to come home straight from Department of Juvenile Justice or even within two or three months of getting out of Department of Juvenile Justice. He is going to need to learn a lot of new things, deal with his drug addiction (that mostly developed inside a juvenile jail system!!!) and deal with whatever trauma is the result of whatever he had to do to get those drugs. Cause they don't just give them to each other for nothing. I don't have a clue as to what he did/does for them, but whatever it is I am sure it is something that won't be very helpful in the outside world.</p><p></p><p>while he might like the sound of a place that teaches transitional living skills, he is not going to follow the rules anywhere unless he is forced to. That is the result of so much time in Department of Juvenile Justice and of having this because the PO and GAL flat out otld him many times to not listen to you because he didn't have to - he had to listen to THEM and so did you so you couldn't boss him around. </p><p></p><p>I also think that coming home to where you now live, seeing how different it is from the home you had, and seeing all that you once had/did but no longer do, will be a constant reminder that you lost everything because he wouldn't stay out of trouble and you had to do so many court ordered things that you couldn't have a job. Because that is what happened, despite all your excellent efforts. Cause you fought long and hard to get better treatment and results but you were blocked at every turn. That reminder will keep him acting out and hurting himself, sort of a self punishment for the way you were hurt, though it is completely NOT a conscious one on his part. </p><p></p><p>I have no faith that this PO will follow through. Be very cautious before you start to hope. These people have done a real number on you and do not deserve your trust. Your son has something going on that should result in a diagnosis IF he would cooperate with a good expert evaluation. I have always thought it. But I doubt it would make any difference now. You are just going to have the PO and a lot of others tell you that you should have gotten him into Residential Treatment Center (RTC) before he went to Department of Juvenile Justice, cause once they have served time they are not "eligible". When I was looking for a placement for Wiz I heard from a lot of places that they could take him if he only had a court ordering him to go there, but we didn't. Then we were in court because he was violent and all of a sudden those same places told me that once the court is involved they cannot take them because it is too much risk for the other kids. It is just another way to say no and make it somehow be the parent's fault. </p><p></p><p>I'm sorry. Do not let them send him to your home. It won't be good for either of you at this point.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 430620, member: 1233"] I so truly HATE that PO and GAL that were in charge of your son's journey through the legal system. I think there ought to be a way to hold them accountable because, in my opinion and in the opinion of any reasonable person who remembers all that went on, they did all they possibly could to make sure he didn't trust you, would not obey or respect your authority, and went to Department of Juvenile Justice. I still believe that the laws that mean you cannot sue them for their abuse and neglect of both of you is wrong. Of course all that added to a dollar still won't get you a cup of coffee most places. But it is my opinion. I think that Residential Treatment Center (RTC) would be better than home. There is nothing that will make it a good idea for him to come home straight from Department of Juvenile Justice or even within two or three months of getting out of Department of Juvenile Justice. He is going to need to learn a lot of new things, deal with his drug addiction (that mostly developed inside a juvenile jail system!!!) and deal with whatever trauma is the result of whatever he had to do to get those drugs. Cause they don't just give them to each other for nothing. I don't have a clue as to what he did/does for them, but whatever it is I am sure it is something that won't be very helpful in the outside world. while he might like the sound of a place that teaches transitional living skills, he is not going to follow the rules anywhere unless he is forced to. That is the result of so much time in Department of Juvenile Justice and of having this because the PO and GAL flat out otld him many times to not listen to you because he didn't have to - he had to listen to THEM and so did you so you couldn't boss him around. I also think that coming home to where you now live, seeing how different it is from the home you had, and seeing all that you once had/did but no longer do, will be a constant reminder that you lost everything because he wouldn't stay out of trouble and you had to do so many court ordered things that you couldn't have a job. Because that is what happened, despite all your excellent efforts. Cause you fought long and hard to get better treatment and results but you were blocked at every turn. That reminder will keep him acting out and hurting himself, sort of a self punishment for the way you were hurt, though it is completely NOT a conscious one on his part. I have no faith that this PO will follow through. Be very cautious before you start to hope. These people have done a real number on you and do not deserve your trust. Your son has something going on that should result in a diagnosis IF he would cooperate with a good expert evaluation. I have always thought it. But I doubt it would make any difference now. You are just going to have the PO and a lot of others tell you that you should have gotten him into Residential Treatment Center (RTC) before he went to Department of Juvenile Justice, cause once they have served time they are not "eligible". When I was looking for a placement for Wiz I heard from a lot of places that they could take him if he only had a court ordering him to go there, but we didn't. Then we were in court because he was violent and all of a sudden those same places told me that once the court is involved they cannot take them because it is too much risk for the other kids. It is just another way to say no and make it somehow be the parent's fault. I'm sorry. Do not let them send him to your home. It won't be good for either of you at this point. [/QUOTE]
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