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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 322605" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Sweetie, It is high time for you and husband to decide what YOUR family traditions will be and then do them. You have to work some to include easy child 2, but she can come do Christmas with you before or after if they won't let her be at your home for the bulk of the day while YOU are there.</p><p></p><p>Decide what time you want to get up, do presents, eat breakfast, go to church if that is part of your religion, play with games, etc.... You are by far past the time when you have to "prove" yourself to these people.</p><p></p><p>Just talk to husband, decide what YOUR schedule will be and then let everyone else either adjust to you (not likely), come to your house (less likely and remember you CAN call the cops to make anyone rude leave. With some of these people you probably SHOULD!) Or they can do their thing and you can catch up with them later.</p><p></p><p>Know they will be all dramatic about it, smile like you have a secret, and then go and ignore them. Answer 1 or 2 calls from them on Christmas and then no more. </p><p></p><p>YOU only have a few more years of wee difficult child playing with his toys on the floor - time for YOU to play that card, in my opinion.</p><p></p><p>You really must start to assert yourself and ignore them on holidays. It really isn't worth all this drama on the holidays. Takes away from the good things. If need be, have the doctor give you a few xanax or lorazepam (ativan) to help you through this time. That will let you just smile at them. It will drive them NUTS - and be so much FUN.</p><p></p><p>If you need help with the smile, you can channel my grandma I. She wore hearing aids and with-o them could not hear much. If someone was saying something she didn't like or want to do or was trying to bully her, she would "scratch" her ears, 1 at a time. It wasn't a scratch, she turned her hearing aid down or off!! She would sit there with the sweetest, nicest, loving smile on her face. It literally drove people around the bend!!! You might pretend to go deaf when they start objecting to things.</p><p></p><p>HUgs. I am sorry it is so stressful.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 322605, member: 1233"] Sweetie, It is high time for you and husband to decide what YOUR family traditions will be and then do them. You have to work some to include easy child 2, but she can come do Christmas with you before or after if they won't let her be at your home for the bulk of the day while YOU are there. Decide what time you want to get up, do presents, eat breakfast, go to church if that is part of your religion, play with games, etc.... You are by far past the time when you have to "prove" yourself to these people. Just talk to husband, decide what YOUR schedule will be and then let everyone else either adjust to you (not likely), come to your house (less likely and remember you CAN call the cops to make anyone rude leave. With some of these people you probably SHOULD!) Or they can do their thing and you can catch up with them later. Know they will be all dramatic about it, smile like you have a secret, and then go and ignore them. Answer 1 or 2 calls from them on Christmas and then no more. YOU only have a few more years of wee difficult child playing with his toys on the floor - time for YOU to play that card, in my opinion. You really must start to assert yourself and ignore them on holidays. It really isn't worth all this drama on the holidays. Takes away from the good things. If need be, have the doctor give you a few xanax or lorazepam (ativan) to help you through this time. That will let you just smile at them. It will drive them NUTS - and be so much FUN. If you need help with the smile, you can channel my grandma I. She wore hearing aids and with-o them could not hear much. If someone was saying something she didn't like or want to do or was trying to bully her, she would "scratch" her ears, 1 at a time. It wasn't a scratch, she turned her hearing aid down or off!! She would sit there with the sweetest, nicest, loving smile on her face. It literally drove people around the bend!!! You might pretend to go deaf when they start objecting to things. HUgs. I am sorry it is so stressful. [/QUOTE]
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