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Opposition defiant disorder
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<blockquote data-quote="emotionallybankrupt" data-source="post: 332973" data-attributes="member: 8226"><p>I tried spankings with my difficult child also, but that didn't last long at all. It was obviously ineffective, and so I quit. That was at the age of 5. If he's laughing at you, this isn't working, and I know that if I were in your position in that moment, my reflex reaction would be to spank harder until I got his attention. I would be angry--I think that is only human--and I think that would be a risky position for both myself and my child.</p><p> </p><p>My difficult child never had sensory issues that I know about, but my easy child has had many. Two strategies I have used successfully have been music and lighting. Using lamps for gentle lighting in a room can really calm things down, and in fact I use that strategy in my classroom as well. I absolutely minimize use of florescent lights in my class, and it really does make a difference.</p><p> </p><p>Background classical music also has amazing calming effects, both with my own child at home as well as in my classroom. My favorites are two "Mozart for Modulation" CD's I bought online several years ago. I had been clued by a therapist that they are specifically targeted to help children with sensory issues, and I'm sure there are many similar resources out there. Umm, I have to admit it calms me down also at times!</p><p> </p><p>I learned early that easy child is extremely sensitive to music. Even as an infant, classical music soothed her--however, if the music was mournful, she would begin to cry. Obviously, I learned to pay attention to the particulars.</p><p> </p><p>After an especially difficult surgery she had as a preschooler, various issues made it extremely difficult to medicate her for pain control. The music stopped the crying. It became our primary pain management tool.</p><p> </p><p>I've not dealt with the tantrums, but I've sure dealt with seeing her panic in situations of sensory overload--particularly noisy places, and especially if the noise begins abruptly. All I know to suggest is avoidance as much as possible, along wtih working gradually to overcome. Particular issues we had trouble with were the vacuum cleaner and those automatic hand dryers in public bathrooms. Those noisy dryers would bring her to a full-blown panic more quickly than anything else. Multiple toilets flushing in those bathrooms made the situation even worse.</p><p> </p><p>I can just guess that whereas my child went into a screaming, crying panic, another child might tantrum instead.</p><p> </p><p>Due at least in part to her language impairment, we've always had that gap of her not understanding certain things that would be obvious to a typically developing child, and I know how frustrating that can be. I would try to "step back" and imagine how frustrated I would be in her place, unable to communicate my needs, thoughts, and feelings well enough to be understood. Not that my own frustration went away, though. I know we were BOTH incredibly frustrated in those times. Of course, the case of you and your son is different in many ways, but I do see a certain parallel.</p><p> </p><p>It sounds as if you and he have a lot of good times together as well, though. I'd be grabbing as many calm times as I could, to fill them up with those activities. I'm betting you already do that.</p><p> </p><p>I'd be interested in knowing how it goes for you if you work with the lighting and/or music ideas. Another tip is aromatherapy. A vanilla candle maybe? I enjoy that myself, but I haven't been able to make that one work here due to the reactivity of my daughter's nasal membranes to just about ANYTHING!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="emotionallybankrupt, post: 332973, member: 8226"] I tried spankings with my difficult child also, but that didn't last long at all. It was obviously ineffective, and so I quit. That was at the age of 5. If he's laughing at you, this isn't working, and I know that if I were in your position in that moment, my reflex reaction would be to spank harder until I got his attention. I would be angry--I think that is only human--and I think that would be a risky position for both myself and my child. My difficult child never had sensory issues that I know about, but my easy child has had many. Two strategies I have used successfully have been music and lighting. Using lamps for gentle lighting in a room can really calm things down, and in fact I use that strategy in my classroom as well. I absolutely minimize use of florescent lights in my class, and it really does make a difference. Background classical music also has amazing calming effects, both with my own child at home as well as in my classroom. My favorites are two "Mozart for Modulation" CD's I bought online several years ago. I had been clued by a therapist that they are specifically targeted to help children with sensory issues, and I'm sure there are many similar resources out there. Umm, I have to admit it calms me down also at times! I learned early that easy child is extremely sensitive to music. Even as an infant, classical music soothed her--however, if the music was mournful, she would begin to cry. Obviously, I learned to pay attention to the particulars. After an especially difficult surgery she had as a preschooler, various issues made it extremely difficult to medicate her for pain control. The music stopped the crying. It became our primary pain management tool. I've not dealt with the tantrums, but I've sure dealt with seeing her panic in situations of sensory overload--particularly noisy places, and especially if the noise begins abruptly. All I know to suggest is avoidance as much as possible, along wtih working gradually to overcome. Particular issues we had trouble with were the vacuum cleaner and those automatic hand dryers in public bathrooms. Those noisy dryers would bring her to a full-blown panic more quickly than anything else. Multiple toilets flushing in those bathrooms made the situation even worse. I can just guess that whereas my child went into a screaming, crying panic, another child might tantrum instead. Due at least in part to her language impairment, we've always had that gap of her not understanding certain things that would be obvious to a typically developing child, and I know how frustrating that can be. I would try to "step back" and imagine how frustrated I would be in her place, unable to communicate my needs, thoughts, and feelings well enough to be understood. Not that my own frustration went away, though. I know we were BOTH incredibly frustrated in those times. Of course, the case of you and your son is different in many ways, but I do see a certain parallel. It sounds as if you and he have a lot of good times together as well, though. I'd be grabbing as many calm times as I could, to fill them up with those activities. I'm betting you already do that. I'd be interested in knowing how it goes for you if you work with the lighting and/or music ideas. Another tip is aromatherapy. A vanilla candle maybe? I enjoy that myself, but I haven't been able to make that one work here due to the reactivity of my daughter's nasal membranes to just about ANYTHING! [/QUOTE]
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