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Oppositional Defiant Disorder in Teenage Girl
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<blockquote data-quote="cindygirl" data-source="post: 713601" data-attributes="member: 1744"><p>I remember this stage. Our two girls are ADHD and ODD. Our eldest is now 24 and still struggles with limitations and impulse control. Natural consequences are the only things that seem to sink in, but 13 years olds need structure and rules. Limits should flow organically not be draconian. If she can't cooperate with her sister in the kitchen then she can be left to do the chore herself. She will still see herself as the victim but others are not harassed to the point of feeling like they are being punished for getting in her sights. If you try to place too many restrictions on her then the rebellion begins. Watch her interactions with her peers. I know looking back that our eldest started hanging out with kids outside of our home whose parents weren't home a lot of the time and they were drinking and drugging when she wasn't in our presence. Your job as a parent is to keep her from doing anything so stupid there is no coming back from it. A part time job and responsibility means she can earn her own money and keep her engaged in an activities where she is subject to rules that aren't imposed by you. If she wants cell phones let her purchase her own, that way she will learn that she needs to be careful with her things because there is a cost. Try to find activities outside of the home that keep her busy and engaged but not really frustrating. Yoga and meditation may help her to calm her mind. I know it is hard but don't compare her to others and point out she isn't measuring up. My oldest moved in and out of the house with regularity for years starting at the age of 16. the law says she can leave and come home until she is 18 and we can't block her. If you decide to go the medical root make sure it is slow acting and non addictive. A lot of the medications act as a platform to other drugs. That way lay madness. Now all you can really do is hold on and survive No teenager is fun, but this is a challenge even for the best parents. Make time for timeouts (for you) and don't be afraid to walk away rather than engage in a protracted battle. ODD children know just what buttons to push to get us from 1-100 in 30 seconds. (funny it calls me a new member but I have been on this rollercoaster since 2004)</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="cindygirl, post: 713601, member: 1744"] I remember this stage. Our two girls are ADHD and ODD. Our eldest is now 24 and still struggles with limitations and impulse control. Natural consequences are the only things that seem to sink in, but 13 years olds need structure and rules. Limits should flow organically not be draconian. If she can't cooperate with her sister in the kitchen then she can be left to do the chore herself. She will still see herself as the victim but others are not harassed to the point of feeling like they are being punished for getting in her sights. If you try to place too many restrictions on her then the rebellion begins. Watch her interactions with her peers. I know looking back that our eldest started hanging out with kids outside of our home whose parents weren't home a lot of the time and they were drinking and drugging when she wasn't in our presence. Your job as a parent is to keep her from doing anything so stupid there is no coming back from it. A part time job and responsibility means she can earn her own money and keep her engaged in an activities where she is subject to rules that aren't imposed by you. If she wants cell phones let her purchase her own, that way she will learn that she needs to be careful with her things because there is a cost. Try to find activities outside of the home that keep her busy and engaged but not really frustrating. Yoga and meditation may help her to calm her mind. I know it is hard but don't compare her to others and point out she isn't measuring up. My oldest moved in and out of the house with regularity for years starting at the age of 16. the law says she can leave and come home until she is 18 and we can't block her. If you decide to go the medical root make sure it is slow acting and non addictive. A lot of the medications act as a platform to other drugs. That way lay madness. Now all you can really do is hold on and survive No teenager is fun, but this is a challenge even for the best parents. Make time for timeouts (for you) and don't be afraid to walk away rather than engage in a protracted battle. ODD children know just what buttons to push to get us from 1-100 in 30 seconds. (funny it calls me a new member but I have been on this rollercoaster since 2004) [/QUOTE]
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