oppositional defiant disorder

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by justamomlikeyou, Nov 5, 2015.

  1. justamomlikeyou

    justamomlikeyou New Member

    Hello, I'm new here, a single mom of 2, from Portugal.

    My oldest is 16 now and she has been diagnosed with ODD two years ago. She's the all ordeal: substance abuse, school and behavioral problems and currently she was sent to a rehab facility, by the court. She was sent there because she refused treatment as an out patient (therapy).

    We've been going trough all this since she was eleven, seems like a long time ago, but from what i've read here from other parents, it's nothing, this can go on forever (!?)

    Just seems so stupid when I can see her as a beautiful girl, super smart and with the biggest heart I've ever seen, but everything just has to come the hardest and the most tortuous way there is in her book.

    Through this path, I've always felt like I was the only mother with such a child, since all my friend's kids are perfect and don't seem to have any problems at all, so it just feels good to know that I'm not alone.

    Thank you.
  2. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Hi, and welcome to our little corner of the 'net.

    This caught my eye:
    What was she like before age 11? The reason I ask is that some root causes of problems are evident even when they are very young, while other root causes show up in the tween and/or teen years. And sometimes, the problem isn't even a disorder, it's what they have experienced - often outside of the home - that can send them over the edge.

    I don't really like the ODD diagnosis. It doesn't allow for treatment - there are no recommended therapies for it, no medications. But it does work as a "place holder", an acknowledgement that there is definitely something not normal going on.

    If the problem started out of the blue at something like 11... I hate to even bring it up, but she could have been molested by someone - at school, at a friend's house, etc. An incident like that can bring out what appears to be defiance when it is really a call for help.
  3. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    You're not alone. Parents don't like to talk about this. We are here for you.

    What sort of services do they offer in Portugal? I don't like ODD as a diagnosis either. It's too vague.
  4. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Welcome justamom. You described my daughter, except that she began acting out very early. Although many other diagnosis were considered over the years, ODD was the only one that made sense through everything. I will say that now at age 24 she is a different person. She has a decent job and is responsible. I think she drinks too much and she does not have an easy life because of some of the choices she made (not going to college and attaching to guys that are not the best), but she is so much better than she was back in her teens.

    I always thought I was the only one too until I found this place.
  5. justamomlikeyou

    justamomlikeyou New Member

    Yes, you're all right, the diagnoses is too vague, but nothing else seems to fit and she has definitely some sort of behavioral problem.

    She was a normal child I guess, but she was always very independent and very opinionated and I've never seen her afraid of anything (ever). When she was little she used to have a group of imaginary friends, all boys, but that stopped when her brother was born (she was 5).

    I was a stay at home mom until the divorce (she was 7).

    I really don't think something happened, except for the divorce.

    Nothing really, except when you get caught by the system, which she involuntarily did when she showed up for classes completely drunk, on the verge of coma and the school called the police.

    We have here something similar to CPS - they sent her to two different therapists (one for the drug problem and the other for the behaviour problem). She was medicated with an antipsychotic because she had once a psychotic episode (drug related) but she got off the medications because she hates medications and it made her sleepy. She did not get any better from the therapy or the medications.

    The court took over her case (self protection case) because she refused to sign an agreement for her own treatment. We went to court, I was so exhausted and just said that anything they ruled I'd agree (lately she just came home for a bath and change clothes, most of the time I had no idea where she was - her behaviour was better though, less aggressive).

    I have to say that through all this her grades were still higher than average and she never flunked.

    Somebody from the rehab facility called me yesterday to say that she's doing great there, so now my biggest fear is what will happen when she gets discharged.

    Thank you so much for you support, it's great to know I'm not alone :)
  6. FlowerGarden

    FlowerGarden Active Member

    I know how you feel about fearing what will happen when she gets discharged. My son was in a facility. He did great there. When he came home he was ok for awhile then started to relapse. He quickly straightened out again. He relapses about every 6 months to a year then gets better. Each time, he betters himself which is so mind boggling to me. Right now he is going through a relapse but still working and helping out around the house. Only thing is, he is not paying me for his insurance, etc. Only gives me money here and there. So, we just told him he has to find a new place to live or get clean starting today. He will not have use of any of our cars either. His bicycle will have to get him where ever he needs to go. Hopefully, he decides to clean up his act.