OTE!!! Hi!!!

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by susiestar, Oct 27, 2010.

  1. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Hi, OTE!! I saw you pop in on toughlovin's Jail thread!! How are you?? How is everyone in your family?

    It is great to see you again!! Please let us know how you are doing, there are quite a few of us around who remember you, though you may need to pop in on Watercooler or General to see all of us!!
  2. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    Hi OTE---Hope things are well with you. I've missed seeing your around.
  3. OTE

    OTE Active Member

    Thanks guys, I miss being here too. But I did, maybe do, need a break. Sometimes I read a post that takes me back to very unpleasant memories. It's a lot better now though I did have one of those terrifying nightmares recently.

    My difficult child extraordinaire is doing 2.8 yrs in state prison for burglaries and marijuana possession (small quantity). He just had so many charges and under new guidelines they add up points... he ended up with a lot of time. Truth is, as he now admits to me, he wanted to get caught as being homeless for a year plus wasn't fun. He had nothing, was going no where, was uncomfortable on the street.... I'm still not sure what's going to happen when he gets out but for now, in prison he's making good choices in general. He's working 8 to 10 hours a day 7 days a week, no outside time, no days off (in many months now). He did every educational program they offered before he started working. The prison is horrid, I'm so stunned by how they treat them. Just the work schedule, not a day off ever. And that's the best thing I can say about how they treat them. No therapist, no religious service, drugs everywhere (the state SWAT raided to get everything out of cells plus drugs from the guards who sell them,) etc. And I'm not even going into violence. No air conditioning, no windows, no fans, no ice in 100 degree heat? But mine is working because he's bored sitting around all day, particularly with the attitudes from the other inmates. Mine was never involved with guns, his violence was when he was high, he's not violent otherwise. Apparently most common crime is armed robbery where he is and it's constant talk about guns, gangs and how they're going to be better criminals with bigger guns when they get out of jail. Also, working means individual cells rather than triple bunks with 50 guys in a room and safety for those working hours.

    The plus side is that his brain is having time to develop after years of drugs. and he and I sit across a table from one another for 2 hours every week with nothing to do but talk. Whole new relationship for he and I. Never thought i'd be so close to one of my sons.

    Middle one is in his fifth year of HS. Maybe some day he'll figure out that only way to finish is to actually show up for class and do work. Lots of teenage nonsense, disrespect, ignoring curfew, but no drugs, no girl troubles, just an immature teenager.

    Autistic kid in HS now. Doing OK but IEP issues rampant.

    Need to update my profile but having so many technical issues with the website I gave up trying.
    Last edited: Oct 27, 2010
  4. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    Hey Edge. It is so good to see you.

    Big, big hugs,
  5. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Hi OTE, it's nice to see you :). I understand about needing a break, it's like post traumatic stress, sometimes you just can't go to that dark corner of your brain. I'm so sorry about your difficult child. When will we realize as a society that unless we provide services to inmates when they get out we just have a bigger problem. Your son sounds like he is surving in spite of the environment and that is a big plus. I wish him well. I understand about the talking now. My difficult child went to drug rehap and for the first time in her life we are able to sit down and actually talk about things and it feels so good. When their brains are not filled up with drugs/alcohol it makes a huge difference.

    Hang in there.

  6. svengandhi

    svengandhi Well-Known Member


    I remember you as well but I used to post under another name that I can't remember. We used to talk via email because you grew up not that far from where I live. Cryptic but I don't want to give too much information. Sorry to hear about your oldest but hopefully, he will not want to repeat the experience and will straighten out his act when he gets out.

  7. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Hey OTE...I have thought and wondered about you over the past couple of years. Sorry to hear about oldest but guess at least he is now where you know where he is. Hope you stick around for at least a little while.