Other shoe dropped

[Nancy]

He's very supportive of the plan I came up with Fran. We drove an hour there and back on short notice and is willing to take her on his way to work tomorrow so I don't have to drive 4 hours back and forth. When I asked him what he would have done if I hadn't come up with this plan he got defensive of course and said it was a good plan and he didn't know what he would have done. I am sure he wouldn't have come up with one and that's where the resentment comes, but I have to work to get over that. He does care very much, even though he's not optimistic about the results.

I should be happy that I am a take charge kind of person otherwise we would both be sitting here waiting. The funny thing is he takes complete charge in his career. Maybe that's why he's willing to give it up at home.

Nancy

 

[witzend]

Some days I think we are all married to the same man and gave birth to the same children.

 

[Bean]

Glad she went; hope it continues. Frustrating indeed.

 

[DDD]

Fingers crossed and caring thoughts transmitted. DDD

 

[rejectedmom]

Nancy, I posted a long reply to your other thread yesterday but it seems to have gotten lost in cyberspace. I am sorry that your daughter got so out of control again and I am glad that she went along with the rehab plan. I hope it sticks this time. I understand about hope springing eternal and needing to continue trying to get tour difficult children to help themselves. I also understand your husband's need to "take a break" as mentioned in one of your other posts. My husband and I are doing that now.

 

[Nomad]

We learned in my SA class that the bottom line is the substance abuser has to make a personal decision for change. Sometimes, it seems, it takes spiritual strength for this to happen. Others, for whatever reason...at some point....get to that point by digging down deep and make that personal choice/decision to reach out for change and literally make the change. Pr0fessionals can only guide them...help to point out the destruction/inconsistencies, etc. But the individual themselves has to weigh the pros and cons...has to reach out....has to do the work. Honestly, I believe if we do toooooo much work, this is never going to happen. It's a hard call....we want to make help always available....but understand that the desire/work/effort....is not on us...its on them.
And by allowing that....we learn too.
I pray that she sticks with this program, that she learns from it and makes a personal decision to move forward with her life in a healthy manner.
Family therapy is not a bad idea...even for just you and husband.

 

[gcvmom]

Nancy, I'm so sorry you are going through this and feeling the full weight of it on your shoulders. My husband shuts down over stuff like this, too and looks to me to come up with the game plan. It's hard feeling like you're the one who has to fix everything. It's a very good sign your difficult child is open to the treatment plan. I really, truly hope she is committed to it and follows through.

(((((Hugs)))))

 

[busywend]

Keeping fingers crossed that difficult child is willing to put in the hard work to make a change in her life. It will be soooo worth it. If only you could flash her forward to 5 years if she chooses not to get help and five years forward if she does. The difference would be night & day. We know that, but how to get her to see that is the challenge.

HUGS!!! Good luck today!