Our inspirational Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) difficult children...

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by TheyAreLegallyAdultsNow, Feb 5, 2010.

  1. Since the Reactive Attachment Disorder explosion last year...

    ..a bunch of people have shared with me that our difficult child drama has convinced them that having children is no longer on their "One day I'd like to..." list.

    That really saddens me!!!!!!!

    Despite the recent hell raising... our family has enjoyed many beautiful years together.

    I'm expecting the difficult children to come around... eventually.

    My dear husband with a tremendously resilient heart brimming with love says he'd adopt again in a heartbeat!


    I'm glad the season of raising kids is over! I've also learned to "never to say never." I'm certainly not feeling called to adoption again at least not at this point of the game.

    Our counselor says we're doing great. We feel that way too... most days.

    I get a kick out of the way the counselor keeps asking if the two couples who have become difficult children' rescuers/enablers are dumber than mud.

    (She doesn't come out and say that directly... she's very discreet in the way she words her question each time... she just can't believe those people really believe what they are doing will help! :surprise: )
  2. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    There are days that I dont think I would parent biologically over again. Then I look at my grandkids and think...darn...I want another one so bad! I tell Tony that he better be glad I had a hysterectomy or I would be trying for the 4th! LOL.

    I firmly believe the grands are the prize for making it through being a parent.
  3. I'm looking forward to grands Janet... although nothing on the horizon... I'm okay with waiting until they are "really" ready!
  4. Nomad

    Nomad Guest

    We also have an adopted difficult child.
    Over the years, a few have mentioned that observing our situation "got them to think." Then, they strongly implied that it changed their minds re: adoption. It made me feel "weird." Kinda bad. But then again, I do wish I was more aware of certain things. One thought...perhaps those that changed their minds were meant to change their minds. Perhaps it is good that they saw my situation and made this decision. Sometimes people "see" things and don't take heed. Sometimes they see, but don't see. husband and I knew almost immediately that we would not adopt again. Our difficult child has a beautiful heart. But there is so much more to the story. We are tired to the bone. Grandchildren are the furthest thing from my/our minds. It has always been my hope and prayer that any grandchildren would come if and only if their parents were in a loving/committed partnership and financially and emotionally stable. This is the way husband and I did it and this is the way we strongly encouraged our children to look at it.

    Through much hard work, the Grace of the One above, the help of others...husband and I feel good and move forward each day.