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General Parenting
Our Visit to the psychiatric for Testing...
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 338762" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Having now seen your chart, I think you were too hard on yourself when you describe it as set up for failure.</p><p></p><p>You have pretty much done what I was suggesting you do.</p><p></p><p>As you said, she could achieve in the first week. </p><p></p><p>My only possible concern - to ensure that there is as little subjective definition in the chart as possible. For example, you need to have defined "conducting herself as a lady" which you appear to have done. Do a lovely, tidy copy of it all (definitions included) for the doctor. If the doctor says it's too rigid or too strict, then remind the doctor that you were doing your best to not baby her and were following the doctor's own instructions. Then get the doctor to have input into modifications required, then again, follow through in between times. Eventually you will have a chart the doctor is happy with, and which you know ahead of time that difficult child is likely to not comply with.</p><p></p><p>That I feel is your aim - to be a "good girl" for the doctor and be compliant, in order to more fully demonstrate difficult child's non-compliance even when you're obviously being reasonable and consistent.</p><p></p><p>In this way, the chart is your guide for your own behaviour towards difficult child, and your way of demonstrating your own behaviour and expectations to the doctor.</p><p></p><p>Ultimately - you want the doctor to see that this is big stuff, the chart is small stuff. difficult child is way beyond charts, but you have to show willing and 'play nice' to get the doctor to finally see this and allow things to move on to where some serious groundwork can begin.</p><p></p><p>Frustrating in the meantime, but hopefully, eventually effective.</p><p></p><p>Carry on! </p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 338762, member: 1991"] Having now seen your chart, I think you were too hard on yourself when you describe it as set up for failure. You have pretty much done what I was suggesting you do. As you said, she could achieve in the first week. My only possible concern - to ensure that there is as little subjective definition in the chart as possible. For example, you need to have defined "conducting herself as a lady" which you appear to have done. Do a lovely, tidy copy of it all (definitions included) for the doctor. If the doctor says it's too rigid or too strict, then remind the doctor that you were doing your best to not baby her and were following the doctor's own instructions. Then get the doctor to have input into modifications required, then again, follow through in between times. Eventually you will have a chart the doctor is happy with, and which you know ahead of time that difficult child is likely to not comply with. That I feel is your aim - to be a "good girl" for the doctor and be compliant, in order to more fully demonstrate difficult child's non-compliance even when you're obviously being reasonable and consistent. In this way, the chart is your guide for your own behaviour towards difficult child, and your way of demonstrating your own behaviour and expectations to the doctor. Ultimately - you want the doctor to see that this is big stuff, the chart is small stuff. difficult child is way beyond charts, but you have to show willing and 'play nice' to get the doctor to finally see this and allow things to move on to where some serious groundwork can begin. Frustrating in the meantime, but hopefully, eventually effective. Carry on! Marg [/QUOTE]
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