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Out of control... Pulling hair out.
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<blockquote data-quote="keista" data-source="post: 454123" data-attributes="member: 11965"><p>Does he immediately go into the tantrum? or are you pushing some more and then the tantrum? Next time try asking just once and when he says no, say "OK I'll check with you in a while" and come back to him in 10 or 15 minutes. He might actually be so shocked by that he might decide to go (we can dream, right?) If he still has an accident, but is calm, then you can clean him up (have him help) and remind him that next time he should try to use the potty when you remind him because it can't feel nice getting all wet and messed. by the way have you tried cheerios in the toilet? They are supposed to be used as "targets"</p><p></p><p>The trick is NOT to let hem get to tantrum phase. I had one parent say to me, "But this is an IMPORTANT issue, he MUST do it" Ah, yeah, but is he doing it while having his tantrum? NO. So exerting parental control doesn't work. And by that I mean repeatedly requesting until he complies because he doesn't ever comply, he goes into a tantrum. Problem with potty and tantrums is that once he's all worked up, he may really not feel the sensations that tell him he needs to go.</p><p><span style="font-family: 'arial black'">.</span></p><p></p><p>He was tired, he wanted to leave. He did NOT want to wait on yet another line. At that moment getting home was the most important thing to him. When you showed up at the car WITH an ice cream, going home at the same time as him, the reality of his "bad decision" over took him. The trick here is to guess and pre-emt his "bad decisions" Did you let him know he could go ahead with Dad and you'd get him his ice cream and catch up with them? Could you have eaten it faster? At his age (5, right?) most kids start learning the natural consequences of such complicated decisions. He's lacking in that capacity. Once you got home, did you have ice cream or another treat that you could have offered?</p><p></p><p>It is difficult and tiring, but you and husband need to try and predict everything that could go wrong and why. Once you get the hang of it, it does get easier, and once you find that SOMETHING works, run with it. Can you think of situations that have gone smoothly? What was going on then? Try analyzing the "good times" and see if you can apply that to situations you KNOW cause "bad times"</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="keista, post: 454123, member: 11965"] Does he immediately go into the tantrum? or are you pushing some more and then the tantrum? Next time try asking just once and when he says no, say "OK I'll check with you in a while" and come back to him in 10 or 15 minutes. He might actually be so shocked by that he might decide to go (we can dream, right?) If he still has an accident, but is calm, then you can clean him up (have him help) and remind him that next time he should try to use the potty when you remind him because it can't feel nice getting all wet and messed. by the way have you tried cheerios in the toilet? They are supposed to be used as "targets" The trick is NOT to let hem get to tantrum phase. I had one parent say to me, "But this is an IMPORTANT issue, he MUST do it" Ah, yeah, but is he doing it while having his tantrum? NO. So exerting parental control doesn't work. And by that I mean repeatedly requesting until he complies because he doesn't ever comply, he goes into a tantrum. Problem with potty and tantrums is that once he's all worked up, he may really not feel the sensations that tell him he needs to go. [FONT=arial black].[/FONT] He was tired, he wanted to leave. He did NOT want to wait on yet another line. At that moment getting home was the most important thing to him. When you showed up at the car WITH an ice cream, going home at the same time as him, the reality of his "bad decision" over took him. The trick here is to guess and pre-emt his "bad decisions" Did you let him know he could go ahead with Dad and you'd get him his ice cream and catch up with them? Could you have eaten it faster? At his age (5, right?) most kids start learning the natural consequences of such complicated decisions. He's lacking in that capacity. Once you got home, did you have ice cream or another treat that you could have offered? It is difficult and tiring, but you and husband need to try and predict everything that could go wrong and why. Once you get the hang of it, it does get easier, and once you find that SOMETHING works, run with it. Can you think of situations that have gone smoothly? What was going on then? Try analyzing the "good times" and see if you can apply that to situations you KNOW cause "bad times" [/QUOTE]
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