outsiders coming in....help....

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by TexasTornado, Jun 26, 2007.

  1. TexasTornado

    TexasTornado New Member

    okay everyone-
    It has been decided that our family could use some kind of support or help for in home behavior problesm we have been having....
    We work closely with Mental health and they are having one of their therapists coem into teh home once a wek to help ....other than that I have no idea what to expect from this lady...
    On this board I have heard horror story after horror story abt outsiders coming in and then it gets completely out of hand etc-and this is what I am worrying abt.
    difficult child is punching and smacking again. When he gets upset it is crazy ard here. I had thought it was only when he gets upset adn I have been able to clear the room and get pets out of the room too and just let him get mad while I walk away. I have tried to intervene before and I get punched or kicked.
    But anyway-today out of the blue he punched his littel brother right in the gut-I wasnt prepeared as he wanst acting upset-but brother walked by and got to close I guess and PUNCH. difficult child got sent to his room while little brother was comforted and things calmed down. No treats today or tomorrow-had afit kicked me, slammed baby gate on me etc. But he eventually made it to his room-and later came out and apoligized-and then acted as if everyone was supposed to forget abt it-like he did. ...sigh...
    Anyway-I have been trying to manage at home-but its just not working-which is why I requested the help-but Im nervous if I did the right thing.....I cant let this continue.
    Little brother wept into my arms" Why does he do this Mommy? I was just walking up to the window? I want that lady to come here and help today!"
    Has anyone gone down this road? Did it help? He's in a social skills group and its not helping AT ALL-so can this be helped? It seams to be highly impulsive and he doesnt even realize hes done it until someone gets hurt and cries or he gets into trouble abt it. And what if I dont agree with the in home people? What then? Do I get reported fro not doing something they suggest etc...okay can you see Im paranoid? LOLOL
    I could just use ANY advice on this-please help:)
  2. TrishaBC

    TrishaBC New Member

    Good for you for seeking help! Last year, husband and I were at our wits end and we had a person come to help out. Wow, it was amazing and life changing. The lady we got was full of tricks and resourses that we didn't know about. She helped us get on track with a really solid routine, and helped us help difficult child to adjust to it. If we could have adopted her into our family we would have. She was very honest and constructive about our parenting, she helped us see ways we could improve and gave us the tools to be better parents. Before she came along we were frusterated and stressed out constantly. I can't imagine where our family would be if she hadn't came into our life.

    Just remember that you really need to keep an open mind, try everything she suggests. This person has lots of experience working with parents and families and just wants to help you with your difficult child. She'll probably say something that you don't want to hear, but it's so you can be the best possible parent.
  3. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    While there have been some who've bad experiences with in home help, there are others who've had good.

    We have had, for the most part, good results with in home therapy, PCAs & respite. No one walked in our door telling us our job. We were not judged on anything...it's mostly been working with one tweedle or the other on skills they need to learn.

    In the meantime, we learned different coping skills; maybe a new way to redirect a behavior/choice before it got out of hand.

    Keep an open mind to learning something new.
  4. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Rather than just mental health services, in my opinion, you need to address the Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)-not otherwise specified/autism issues. Many Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) kids become violent out of frustration and just not understanding the world, not to mention that they perceive everything differently than "typical" kids. My son has Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)-not otherwise specified. He once was a very difficult child. With extensive interventions he is doing great at age fourteen. Mental health services will probably help you more than the child. Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)-not otherwise specified is a neurological difference, not a psychiatric problem, and it needs to be aggressively addressed. My son had Occupational Therapist (OT), PT, social skills, Speech, an aide, special education--he's almost mainstreamed now. Many Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) kids just don't "get" therapy. I don't think my son would be helped by it. He is a really nice, peaceful teenager now, albeit "quirky." Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) kids all have obsessive interests. Is your child getting any help for his Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)-not otherwise specified?
  5. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    difficult child's in home therapists were good. They did as much as they could as difficult child was not really available for therapy. I never felt judged only supported.
  6. TexasTornado

    TexasTornado New Member

    Thank you everyone-
    You helped calm my worries :smile:
    You have hit the nail on the head-the school refuses to acknowledge the Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD), they even brought in an Autism specialsit from teh district and tested him adn "hes so not autistic", they wanted to know what qualifications my doctor had. PLEASE!!!We went out of pocket to a Childrens Hospital and got Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)-not otherwise specified, and that doctor said he might have a favoreable outcome with PROPER interventions, but that we were expected to be on for a long road with this....The school tested his IQ-he scored 74-so I think they are basing everything on thsi and just traeating him as " he is doing the best he is expected to do"...ugh...Transfereed to a dif school-self contained classroom with ED kids, and they arent addressing his PECS, his timers, his transitions and his bolting-they just lock him up in a time-out room thinking that this discipline works for their other kids-it will work with him-it hasnt-surprize, surprize....then they ask me what I would suggest when I tell them I have a problem with this picture-started peeing in teh room-has constipation issues and when he needs to go-HE NEEDS TO GO! I actually had to give them a note from teh doctor addressing this-so they are in no way concidering his Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) issues in any of this...ugh... and that he likes it in the self contained classroom as he isnt ard other kids and getting to go to the mainstreamed classroom just isnt an incentive for him liek it might be to other non Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) kids-Know what I mean?? ...but no one listens-ugh.... The mental health people keep telling me they see no "autism" but think he is Aspergers-HUH?LOLOLOL Arent they all Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD)(Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)-not otherwise specified, aspergers, autism)? I think they are CLUELESS! and its getting frustrating thinking they can just treat him like a typical child with emotional psychiatric issues rather than work on his Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) deficits...ugh.... His socail skills therpaist(agn the guy who said he thinks my difficult child has Aspergers said the social skills can be taught, but they cant make him want to be ard others-duh!and he is happy to be by himslef-its when others get to close, or he is forced to contribute and be with them when problems happen-isnt this a true sign of Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)-not otherwise specified?????Not caring if he has friends-not wanting them-happy kid, but alone?
    We are on Medicaid now-so everyone we see has to be Mental health referred or through them etc.The doctor we were seeing who totally got Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)-not otherwise specified isnt taking Medicaid now-he used to be Mental health, now he isnt, teh new doctor they have now is leaving again we are seeing at mental health-Im getting to the point Ive abt said enough already with all the changing docs-ugh.....
    But yes, i desperately want someone who gets the Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)-not otherwise specified as I think that is a major thing contributing to his social problems and perceptions of things-but I dont know where to turn....any suggestions abt how I work it out with Medicaid? What should I do here?