I freely admit to being a Dt Phil fan. However, what we get to see in Australia is not in sync with what you guys get to see.
I also will feel free to disagree with him at times, ofcourse he won't always be right.
A point I feel needs to be made here - when we see Dr Phil handing out advice, it is FOR THAT SITUATION. The gist I got from the initial description - the mother was giving way to the public tantrum out of embarrassment. I've nnoticed Dr Phil often makes a statement that encourages the person to consider swimnging the pensulum almost too far the other way, probably knowing they actually wouldn't go quite that far. he's making a point - "no, Mom, you don't give in to shut the kid up, if anything you should stand there and applaud yourself for NOT giving in! Who is getting embarrassed here? Not you, YOU'RE not throwing the tantrum! And if anyone tries to criticise you - tell them why. Make it clear - the kid is throwing a tantrum because you're being a GOOD parent, you should be proud of yourself fot standing strong."
OK, it sounds over the top and maybe he wouldn't say it like that, but it's a (hypothetical, demonstration only) attempt to change the mother's mindset from "I am so embarrassed by my child in public" to "I have to be strong for the long-term welfare of my child."
The next parent presenting with an ALMOST identical problem could well get very different advice.
And no matter what he says, I don't beleive Dr Phil never yelled. He yells often, in demonstration at least, on his stage. "What were you thinking?" If he yells it to people on his show, then he has yelled it to his family. Sorry, Dr Phil. I'm getting real here.
But then - is that so wrong? And when he says he doesn't yell, exactly what is he talking about? Generally when we say "never" we're generalising, we're usually saying, "It's something I try to not do, as a matter of principle." And for most of us, that's the best we can do.
We've had tantrums. Very public ones. And while I wouldn't necessarily encourage bystanders to stand and applaud (because that would frankly only get MORE people mad at me), I would do my utmost to ignore it. The standard trick is "Whose naughty child is that? Certainly not mine!"
If it is too obvious that it IS my child, I still stand my ground. The main poin here is - DO NOT LET THE CHILD'S TANTRUM BLACKMAIL YOU INTO GIVING WAY. Because if you do, you have just trained the child a little bit more, to throw more tantrums. You have given the child control, and in a dangerous area. NOT good.
Public humiliation - oh yes, been there done that. Nasty. I like the cold remedy ad (works fast) where the child is throwing a tantrum, so the mother throws a bigger one to show SHE can be even more embarrassing. If your child has already humiliated you, what have you got to lose! Then there is the French ad where a child throws a public tantrum - it's an ad for contraceptives. Cute. And I once saw an ad which showed "parents of..." various world despots. IDi Amin. Adolf Hitler. And more. The end line was, "If only they had used contraception..."
But I digress - public tantrums. If my child has chosen to make his tantrum public, I will not put as a high priority, removing that child from the public forum. You have to wear the consequences. I will, however, recognise that perhaps my child is overloaded from the stress of the shopping centre, the noise, the lgihts, the bsutle, the confusion of choices. THEN I will consider that grounds for removing the child, but it will be instantremoval of myself, the child, eveything. No stopping to finish the grocery shopping - we will just drop it all and walk away. Or if I have the option, I will send the offending child to wait in the car with someone responsible, while I get the essentials dealt with as fast as possible so we can leave.
difficult child 3 learnt fairly quickly, to take himself to the car if he wasn't coping.
I think my worst public humiliation was when difficult child 3 was about 3 years old and constantly wandering off or even running off, so I had bought a child harness for him, with a leash. It was a five point webbing harness, a rather ingenious design. The leash we were using at the time was one of those curly telescopic ones, like a curly phone cord. Actually, this may have been the one that attached with velcro to difficult child 3's wrist while the other end attached to my wrist (or someone else as carer).
I had left difficult child 3 being minded by easy child 2/difficult child 2, who was 10 years old. difficult child 1 was also nearby - he was 12. I needed to go into a china shop and I left the kids in the mall open area, right outside the shop. I should have realised - polished floors, small kids, telescoping tether. Not a good combo. I came back out to see acrowd gathering and easy child 2/difficult child 2 was sliding difficult child 3 around in every-increasing large circles, he swished across the floor on his corduroy dungarees as she swung him from her wrist, by his wrist, and difficult child 1 was 'jumping rope' as the teter swung round. The circles were full length by the time I came out - about 3 metres RADIUS, which means almost the entire width of the mall, shoppers were having to jump rope. Meanwhile difficult child 3 was making whining noises (which Dopplered every time he made another circle), he had had enough and wanted to stop. As I came on the scene and began to stop the action, it became clear that I was the appallingly neglectful parent who had allowed her kids to mistreat their baby brother in such an awful manner. Boy, did I cop it from people!
What did I do? I totally ignore the critics standing around. I scolded easy child 2/difficult child 2 and difficult child 1 publicly, when they said, "It's no big deal" I pointed to the crowd and the nearest, most vocal critic and said, "Do you see these people? Can you hear what they are saying? Do THEY think it's no big deal? And do they have more life experience than you?"
And yes, I yelled. I'm sure even Dr Phil would have yelled at them. Because they ruddy well deserved it. In this situation specifically.
Marg
And I mean WHATEVER IT TAKES. Some people do not understand the concept. Do not understand the freight train that might come at them. Or the roller coaster ride. 
