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Overwhelmed and scared by teen son
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<blockquote data-quote="slsh" data-source="post: 415281" data-attributes="member: 8"><p>Julie - you are not a horrible mother. Cuts, malnutrition, depression... kids are really good at hiding a multitude of problems. You did absolutely the right thing, hands down, no question. You were concerned, you sought help, you made a decision, and you followed thru. I don't personally think you did the wrong thing with him. I think a better question for you to consider is what might have happened had you *not* acted? As for acting sooner .... we all wish we had the wisdom to avert traumatic events, but we don't. You did the very best that you could, and he's in a safe environment now.</p><p></p><p>I don't believe he really hates you - I think he's ticked because ... who knows - his secret is out? He's now not in control? You know that he feels responsible for his friend? You interfered with what he was doing to himself? He feels weak/powerless/guilty/angry? There's no telling. And even if he does hate you (honest - I simply don't believe that will be the case), it was still worth it, wasn't it?</p><p></p><p>I think I would hold off on telling the school a whole lot at this point. The only thing they need to know is that he's hospitalized, and you will update them when you know more.</p><p></p><p>I would stay home with- your other kids tomorrow. It will give you a chance to reassure them and to talk about what happened. I'd be honest with- them- Leo is devastated by his friend's death and needs help, which he didn't want, so as his mother you had to make sure he was safe and got the help he needs.</p><p></p><p>Leo is in the hospital, I'm assuming on suicide watch. He's well supervised and safe, and I think right now it's important for you to be there for your girls. Call him, if you can swing a visit later in the day that's great, but my gut says the girls probably need you more right now. I know that sounds odd, but... that's just my thought. You also need to check on visiting hours - every psychiatric admission my son had, there were very specific and limited visiting hours, I'm thinking usually 2 or 3 times a week.</p><p></p><p>Finally and most importantly, you need to do whatever it is you do to take care of yourself. Today was extremely traumatic for you as well. You need to give yourself some TLC.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="slsh, post: 415281, member: 8"] Julie - you are not a horrible mother. Cuts, malnutrition, depression... kids are really good at hiding a multitude of problems. You did absolutely the right thing, hands down, no question. You were concerned, you sought help, you made a decision, and you followed thru. I don't personally think you did the wrong thing with him. I think a better question for you to consider is what might have happened had you *not* acted? As for acting sooner .... we all wish we had the wisdom to avert traumatic events, but we don't. You did the very best that you could, and he's in a safe environment now. I don't believe he really hates you - I think he's ticked because ... who knows - his secret is out? He's now not in control? You know that he feels responsible for his friend? You interfered with what he was doing to himself? He feels weak/powerless/guilty/angry? There's no telling. And even if he does hate you (honest - I simply don't believe that will be the case), it was still worth it, wasn't it? I think I would hold off on telling the school a whole lot at this point. The only thing they need to know is that he's hospitalized, and you will update them when you know more. I would stay home with- your other kids tomorrow. It will give you a chance to reassure them and to talk about what happened. I'd be honest with- them- Leo is devastated by his friend's death and needs help, which he didn't want, so as his mother you had to make sure he was safe and got the help he needs. Leo is in the hospital, I'm assuming on suicide watch. He's well supervised and safe, and I think right now it's important for you to be there for your girls. Call him, if you can swing a visit later in the day that's great, but my gut says the girls probably need you more right now. I know that sounds odd, but... that's just my thought. You also need to check on visiting hours - every psychiatric admission my son had, there were very specific and limited visiting hours, I'm thinking usually 2 or 3 times a week. Finally and most importantly, you need to do whatever it is you do to take care of yourself. Today was extremely traumatic for you as well. You need to give yourself some TLC. [/QUOTE]
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