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Overwhelmed - please advise!
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<blockquote data-quote="Desdamona" data-source="post: 275390" data-attributes="member: 7366"><p>Okay, to complicate things farther, he HAS been tested (kind of). I say kind of because (1) it was done at a psychiatric department of a local university by a student who was "consulting" with others, (2) I felt it was not an accurate description of the picture since Mom & Dad's info. was most heavily weighted and they either don't see his behavior or don't believe it, (3) the teacher gave input, also, but it was only the 2nd week of school, (4) when they evaluated him, the girl only actually met with him for about 1/2 hour - he can be very charming when he needs to, so she saw a normal little kid. </p><p>They are all making me feel like I'm going nuts! Then I turn around and the baby's new favorite toy has "vanished" and can't be found even by turning the house inside out, or my daughter is laying in her bed at 1:00 a.m. silently crying because she's "scared of the shadows", or I wake up in the morning to this kiddo just standing in my doorway, staring at me while I was sleeping (VERY creepy feeling). I feel like when he's at the house, I am the "bouncer" - I try not to let him out of my sight so he doesn't steal or maim. </p><p>To top things off, Dad now wants to take the boy hunting with him in the fall!!! That's just what we need!-Teach the boy how to work a gun & let him see something die in front of him by his own hand! </p><p>When I suggest we proceed with some kind of counseling for the child, Dad reminds me that we don't have money, or that "he seems to be getting better..." Meanwhile, I live waiting for what will happen or go missing next.</p><p>I feel like a prisoner in my own house. Anything of value gets locked in the girls' room - their stuff, my stuff, the baby's favorite book - all crammed in one room. Then, we have to sit in there so the baby can play with whatever, or I let him bring it out & watch the whatever like a hawk. Why do the innocent parties have to be the ones being punished???</p><p>I will also mention this: Dad has told me that I need to make more of an effort - ask the kid how his day was, talk with him, etc. He wants me to forgive all the child has done and "move on". MOVE ON??? How do I treat the kid the way his dad wants me to? He is currently stealing and lying and hurting - I can't just forgive this behavior until he stops and apologizes and is genuinely sorry! I don't even like him any more. I can't even look him in the eyes, he has lied so much. I have lost all respect for him. I have learned that life is so precious, and we only have so many seconds here, with those we love. I can't believe this is how he chooses to spend so much of his given time. Furthermore, I don't want to spend anymore of my time on somebody who doesn't even care or get it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Desdamona, post: 275390, member: 7366"] Okay, to complicate things farther, he HAS been tested (kind of). I say kind of because (1) it was done at a psychiatric department of a local university by a student who was "consulting" with others, (2) I felt it was not an accurate description of the picture since Mom & Dad's info. was most heavily weighted and they either don't see his behavior or don't believe it, (3) the teacher gave input, also, but it was only the 2nd week of school, (4) when they evaluated him, the girl only actually met with him for about 1/2 hour - he can be very charming when he needs to, so she saw a normal little kid. They are all making me feel like I'm going nuts! Then I turn around and the baby's new favorite toy has "vanished" and can't be found even by turning the house inside out, or my daughter is laying in her bed at 1:00 a.m. silently crying because she's "scared of the shadows", or I wake up in the morning to this kiddo just standing in my doorway, staring at me while I was sleeping (VERY creepy feeling). I feel like when he's at the house, I am the "bouncer" - I try not to let him out of my sight so he doesn't steal or maim. To top things off, Dad now wants to take the boy hunting with him in the fall!!! That's just what we need!-Teach the boy how to work a gun & let him see something die in front of him by his own hand! When I suggest we proceed with some kind of counseling for the child, Dad reminds me that we don't have money, or that "he seems to be getting better..." Meanwhile, I live waiting for what will happen or go missing next. I feel like a prisoner in my own house. Anything of value gets locked in the girls' room - their stuff, my stuff, the baby's favorite book - all crammed in one room. Then, we have to sit in there so the baby can play with whatever, or I let him bring it out & watch the whatever like a hawk. Why do the innocent parties have to be the ones being punished??? I will also mention this: Dad has told me that I need to make more of an effort - ask the kid how his day was, talk with him, etc. He wants me to forgive all the child has done and "move on". MOVE ON??? How do I treat the kid the way his dad wants me to? He is currently stealing and lying and hurting - I can't just forgive this behavior until he stops and apologizes and is genuinely sorry! I don't even like him any more. I can't even look him in the eyes, he has lied so much. I have lost all respect for him. I have learned that life is so precious, and we only have so many seconds here, with those we love. I can't believe this is how he chooses to spend so much of his given time. Furthermore, I don't want to spend anymore of my time on somebody who doesn't even care or get it. [/QUOTE]
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