overwhelmed / scared

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Kjs, Apr 27, 2008.

  1. Kjs

    Kjs Guest

    I have been through some difficult times, but i don't remember feeling this way in a very long, long time.

    My heart is heavy, aches. It is just jumping out of me.

    so much has happened the past few weeks, i wouldn't even know where to begin.

    issues with my family, husband, easy child and difficult child. I am so scared I am shaking. I am crying I would lock myself in my room forever if I could. i must come to work.

    I have nobody to talk to, nobody understands. This feeling of being so overwhelmed, so scared I don't know what to do. I am scared of feeling so scared.
  2. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat


    Get to a doctor. It sounds like depression. I could be wrong, but whatever it is, if you don't feel right, you need to see someone that can help you.
  3. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm sorry you are feeling this way. I agree with what BBK says-get to a doctor! Hugs.
  4. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    You definitely need someone to talk to. If you can't, here, perhaps you need to talk to a counselor. You need to do something, because you sound like a nervous meltdown waiting to happen. Sending hugs and good thoughts today.
  5. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    How has your weight been? If there is a problem there too, mention it. Maybe blood tests might be in order too?

    Look after yourself, your family needs you (even if you feel you're not worth looking after for you). Besides, we want you well.

  6. ML

    ML Guest

    I am so sorry kjs. Please do go to the doctor and know that we all care about you here. This is a safe place for sharing your feelings. Let me know if there is anything I can do to help. Great big hugs xoxoML
  7. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    {{Cyber hugs}}
  8. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    Kjs, the others have already given you good advice about getting to a doctor or counsellor. I just want to add more {{{{{hugs}}}}}.
  9. Kjs

    Kjs Guest

    My family doesn't need me. easy child has been lying to me for 8 months. difficult child - well he's difficult child. husband..grumpy always. Something happened at my moms funeral that is just so unforgivable. something my sister said, in church about me and my easy child. In front of complete strangers. As I said other times, my siblings are much older than me. I was the baby. My memory of my parents did not include them.
    Now, my final good-bye consists of feeling the pain my sister stabbed through my heart. Not only my heart, my kids also.
    I have no one to talk to. thought I could let it go, and grieve my mother. But anger has taken over. My memory of my goodbye to MY mother will always consist of this. No drug, no doctor can change that.
    considering pain pills though. If pain pills take away pain, I really need a lot right now because I feel overwhelming pain. Right through my heart.
  10. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    I can't say much... let it out if you can. PM anyone here if you feel comfortable talking. Most of us are here.
    Please talk, talk... let yourself feel. Don't wind up into a ball. Don't let this build up... it will hurt so much more when it HAS to come out.
    I am so sorry for what you and you whole family is going through. I am sorry about your Mother.
    When my Mother committed suicide, the cr@p flew... I was only 9 but I still remember all of the stories, most of them true. But I should not have heard them.
    Try to protect yourself, your heart.
    Even a short term medication.
    Can you get away? Can you demand a mini-break? Go to a motel/hotel for 2 nights or so and just clear your mind???
  11. amazeofgrace

    amazeofgrace New Member


    Are you near a beach? Going to the beach and reflecting is always soothing to me, or how about a lake. You should journal right now, your emotions are raw and you need that outlet.

    Praying for you, remember your are strong, you're a woman.

  12. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    I agree with the others and would also encourage you to see a doctor and find someone who you can talk to. medications would probably help you a lot. I was on them twice, both times when going through periods of great emotional pain and stress. They didn't take away the pain, didn't numb me into a zombie either. But they did reduce the anxiety and kept my problems from overwhelming me so that I could deal with them. I'm not the type who takes a lot of medications, but when I needed them, I needed them and they really helped me deal with everything that was going on in my life at that time. And when things got better, I didn't need them anymore. Please get some help, hon. Sending hugs.
  13. Nomad

    Nomad Guest

    I'm so sorry that you've had this negative experience and feel like you don't have the strength right now to overcome the heartache it is causing. I agree, you sound very sad and likely depressed. Do you have a family doctor that you could see right away? Have you ever been on antidepressants before? It is time to call a doctor right away. In the mean time, don't be too hard on yourself and try to force yourself not to think about these crummy/difficult/sad things that have happened. Try your best to get plenty of sleep and eat well. Call good friends and talk briefly, asking them to check in on you. Tell them that you are calling the Dr. for help. Consider seeing a therapist as well. Especially when a person is under a lot of stress, a therapist can provide much clarity and relief. I do hope you are able to take the steps to help you feel better. And I do hope that you feel better soon.
  14. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    I hope that you will talk to your doctor or psychiatrist/therapist about how you are feeling.

    I'm so sorry that your sister was so uncaring to you and your family at your mom's funeral. Is there any reason to try to talk to her about how awful that made you feel, or would she care? I have to tell you, if she wouldn't care, there's no reason to talk to her. Ever again, in my opinion.

    I'm so sorry to hear that you're feeling so badly. Hang on, it will get better.
  15. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    I wonder how the person your sister spoke to feels about what she said. If it had been me hearing it, I suspect I would have thought very badly of her for talking about something personal to a stranger, especially something negative about a family member who was also grieving, and especially at a funeral. If anyone has come out of this badly, it will be your sister, destroying her own reputation by her own words.

    At a wedding recently I was "powdering my nose" (the ladies loo is THE BEST place for wedding gossip) when a girl I didn't recognise announced to me and everyone in the ladies, "I got dumped as chief bridesmaid... oh, but it's OK, I'm not angry or anything." yeah, not much!
    My opinion of her went right to the bottom. Not impressed. She was very chatty with me, asked me all sorts of questions (which I was careful to not answer).

    When I got the chance a fortnight later, I asked the mother of the bride (my best friend) what it had all been about. Turned out the girl MAY have recognised me, she used to go to our church when she was in her teens. At that time she and the bride had been good friends and used to say, "let's be each other's chief bridesmaids!" As you do when you're 14. But at 34, especially when you've been married and didn't ask your friend from the past to be chief bridesmaid, you don't go on about it!


    My reaction, and that of others (I've since heard) was NOT favourable at all to that girl. She did go on to say even more later on, which only made people more embarrassed to be hearing it.

    The good thing - she mostly stayed in the loo the whole time (apart from emerging to have yet another drink).

    The bride has since heard the story and is strong enough to be amused by it, rather than distressed at having her wedding ruined (not at all - she's got her man and she's happy).

    I really don't like funerals. When I think of my mother I prefer to think of the times we talked, the time she was minding easy child while watering her garden in the summer evening and would occasionally flick the hose so easy child's hands could get wet. By the time husband & I emerged from doing the wash-up, easy child and her stroller were absolutely saturated and my mother was giggling like a naughty kid. husband snapped a photo before she saw us, it's one of my favourites. The funeral - I don't like to think about it at all. My brother took charge and wouldn't let us have much input, got a lot of things wrong and bluffs his way through about it. One of my sisters was angry with him about his need to control it all, but for me - it's a summer night, the hose, and a dripping wet easy child.

  16. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am sorry you are in such overwhelming pain. I am here to listen if you need to talk. feel free to pm me at any time. Or even post here, I will check frequently.

    I am holding you close to my heart and in my prayers. Pamper yourself right now, see your doctor, therapist, psychiatrist, tell them ALL of it.


  17. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Kjs, are you doing any better today?
    Pain pills won't take away the pain if it's emotional, but you may get a good night's sleep, which will help with-your coping skills. Personally, I'd recommend Xanax for the short term.
    I would visit a therapist on my own if I were you. You deserve to take care of yourself ... you're always taking care of others.
    Obviously, your siblings are not included! Your sister blew it, big time. I agree with Marg, that the person receiving the information may have been appalled and think poorly of your sister, not you.
    At my mother's funeral, one of my s-i-l dominated the conversation at the gravesite talking about an individual she'd never met, who worked with-her husband, who had cancer, and all the issues she was going through. NOT what we needed to hear. We wanted condolences and warm fuzzies. I'm sure that's nowhere near what you went through but all I can say is that people are selfish.
    Maybe you can create a little ritual for your mom on your own. Gather some photos, go back to the minister or whoever conducted the ceremony, and just start from scratch. It can be your secret little gift to yourself.
    I'm sorry your son has been lying to you. I don't know the details. I assume he's living at home? Time for him to move out, eh?
    husband does not sound like he's coming up to the plate for you. You may have to grab him by the collar and give him a wakeup call.
    Take care of yourself.
    And please stay in touch with us.
  18. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Kjs, I'm so sorry this happened. If there's any way I can help, let me know. Sending many many warm hugs to you.
  19. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    Just wanted to send hugs. I am in a similar situation with my sister's unexpected and sudden death. I have a range of emotions, from brain numbing denial, to heart stricken grief, to anger. I have realized that death seems to conjure up every feeling possible - ones I never knew I had. Irrational feelings, honest feeling, feelings of despair - they run far and wide.

    I have had to increase my Lexapro to get through this, and see my counselor more than once a week on some weeks. I also went to see my dr and got some xanax for the times that I am falling apart. I know that these are not cure alls, as I still very much feel every single thing. However, I am able to function in the day to day stuff, which I would not be doing without these tools.

    Many hugs. Please post here as much as you want - this board has been better than any friends I have in real life during this horrible time. I hope you can find the same comfort.