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Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Overwhelmed with dysfunction...just venting
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 618773" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>You had the right idea the first time. Don't answer. Anything.</p><p></p><p>Your parents are not in a good mindset anyway, if they both have dementia. You don't need to justify yourself. You know he can go to college on grants, don't you? But he won't. He needs help more than college and HE has to be the one to do it.</p><p></p><p>Don't fall into the trap. He has no business having bipolar and being unmedicated and he is a danger to you and your parents. You can't control your parents, but you can control YOU. Endless talks about difficult children usually goes nowhere and just makes things worse. You are 53. Dad and Mom should NOT control your decisions anymore. You are probably more clearheaded than b oth of them and, at any rate, you are well into adulthood.</p><p></p><p>The best thing you can do for your son is to let him fall...I know it's hard, but if he keeps assaulting people he disagrees with, jail will become his new college. He needs to get treatment, not go to college at this stage in his life. College can wait. Bipolar, unmedicated, just gets worse. But he is the only one who can fix that. I wouldn't talk to him about that either. It won't matter. You'll just go around in circles. He already heard you and he's not listening.</p><p></p><p>I would continue to withhold the money. He crossed a boundary that no child should ever cross. He needs psychiatric care, and you can't make him get it.</p><p></p><p>Detach, detach, detach.</p><p></p><p>Hugs.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 618773, member: 1550"] You had the right idea the first time. Don't answer. Anything. Your parents are not in a good mindset anyway, if they both have dementia. You don't need to justify yourself. You know he can go to college on grants, don't you? But he won't. He needs help more than college and HE has to be the one to do it. Don't fall into the trap. He has no business having bipolar and being unmedicated and he is a danger to you and your parents. You can't control your parents, but you can control YOU. Endless talks about difficult children usually goes nowhere and just makes things worse. You are 53. Dad and Mom should NOT control your decisions anymore. You are probably more clearheaded than b oth of them and, at any rate, you are well into adulthood. The best thing you can do for your son is to let him fall...I know it's hard, but if he keeps assaulting people he disagrees with, jail will become his new college. He needs to get treatment, not go to college at this stage in his life. College can wait. Bipolar, unmedicated, just gets worse. But he is the only one who can fix that. I wouldn't talk to him about that either. It won't matter. You'll just go around in circles. He already heard you and he's not listening. I would continue to withhold the money. He crossed a boundary that no child should ever cross. He needs psychiatric care, and you can't make him get it. Detach, detach, detach. Hugs. [/QUOTE]
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Overwhelmed with dysfunction...just venting
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