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Parent Emeritus
Overwhelmed with dysfunction...just venting
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<blockquote data-quote="Echolette" data-source="post: 618798" data-attributes="member: 17269"><p>I love that!</p><p></p><p>BITS, you are so close....the incredibly unreasonable behavior and accusations of your parents and difficult child are starting to lift the fog for you.l..even you (read "us) in your (our) guilty, loving, fixing mode can sometimes finally see that THE OTHER PEOPLE ARE ACTING CRAZY. YOur parents are acting up because they are starting to see they are stuck with difficult child...he doesn't look so helpless and right anymore now that he is demanding money from them instead of you. That relationship is going to come to an end. Or not....it doesn't matter, because you can't control it, only the three in the toxic dance can. Three is enough in the dance. Move away.</p><p></p><p>I understand the need to convince them you are right, to GET THEM TO SEE THINGS YOUR WAY. It is SO compelling. IN business (I'm not a business woman but I was dragged into some B school courses at one stage of my life) they call it the Myth of the Great Argument. That when you have right on your side (and you do) we tend to believe that if we can only state it clearly enough everyone will fall in line. Wrong. Wrong in business, wrong in life, and really really wrong with difficult children. Take a deep breath and let it go. It is not for you to convince them. It is for you to know that YOU ARE DOING THE RIGHT THING and let it go.</p><p></p><p>Blessings on your head, today, BITS. Hang in there. </p><p></p><p>PS, I love this one too! If you have been ruining their lives, well then, hurray, that is over if you step aside!</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>hugs, </p><p></p><p>Echo</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Echolette, post: 618798, member: 17269"] I love that! BITS, you are so close....the incredibly unreasonable behavior and accusations of your parents and difficult child are starting to lift the fog for you.l..even you (read "us) in your (our) guilty, loving, fixing mode can sometimes finally see that THE OTHER PEOPLE ARE ACTING CRAZY. YOur parents are acting up because they are starting to see they are stuck with difficult child...he doesn't look so helpless and right anymore now that he is demanding money from them instead of you. That relationship is going to come to an end. Or not....it doesn't matter, because you can't control it, only the three in the toxic dance can. Three is enough in the dance. Move away. I understand the need to convince them you are right, to GET THEM TO SEE THINGS YOUR WAY. It is SO compelling. IN business (I'm not a business woman but I was dragged into some B school courses at one stage of my life) they call it the Myth of the Great Argument. That when you have right on your side (and you do) we tend to believe that if we can only state it clearly enough everyone will fall in line. Wrong. Wrong in business, wrong in life, and really really wrong with difficult children. Take a deep breath and let it go. It is not for you to convince them. It is for you to know that YOU ARE DOING THE RIGHT THING and let it go. Blessings on your head, today, BITS. Hang in there. PS, I love this one too! If you have been ruining their lives, well then, hurray, that is over if you step aside! hugs, Echo [/QUOTE]
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Overwhelmed with dysfunction...just venting
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