I don't know quite where to begin here... I just came across this site today. My situation is probably not much different than anyone elses here, but for me it is wholly overwhelming. I fell in love with a man who at the time had a beautiful 9 year old little girl. About 6 months before I met him, his ex-wife died of cancer and his daughter came to live with him she was 8 at the time. As anyone can imagine and understand this child has been suffering since her mother died. We have, fortunately, been able to form a strong relationship and I know she loves me, and we express it to each other daily. We now all live together and she has just turned 11 years old. About six months after I moved in the home so did her grandmother (70) and great-grandmother (92). Needless to say, we have a full house. Every night is a constant battle to get homework done. She revels in her opposition of authority. She argues with you just to hear the sound of her own voice. She abuses her grandmothers and threatens to hurt them if they don't do what she wants (like signing papers for the school so she doesnt have to show them to either her father or me) she has stolen money from her grandmothers before and just last night I caught her stealing out of my purse. She fights in school and blatently disrespects her teachers. We have placed her in a private school so she can get the personal attention that she truly needs and even that has only seemed to help a little. She is in therapy and medicated. She takes zoloft and concerta. Her doctor just increased the concerta about a month ago and it hasn't seemed to help with her behavior at all. We have tried everything we know to help her to change her behavior. We have tried to reinforce the positive behavior, but it seems that there is very little positive behavior to reward. Mostly, it is her negative behavior that takes center stage. She is constantly grounded and never has an opportunity to go out and socialize with other kids. Even if she could, I don't think she would. I can't remember the last time she was allowed to watch t.v. or play on the computer. Everytime she comes close to working her way out of the hole she digs for herself she finds a way to get in even more trouble. One step forward, two steps back. She feels rules don't apply to her, she has no self-control. She has no respect for authority and does not use appropriate manners in any situation. She will talkback to you and doesn't seem to understand when she should keep her mouth shut and just say yes, ma'am, no ma'am, yes sir, no sir. She has to argue with EVERYTHING. If she wants something she will do whatever it takes to get what she wants regardless of who she hurts to do it. I'm just overwhelmed, tired and exhausted. I feel like I have jumped into the deep end of a swimming pool without a swimming lesson. I love her and her dad very much. I want to help this girl in anyway that I can. I want her to be able to experience the joys of life, rather than wallowing in self destructive behaviors. I know she is hurt, depressed, angry, sad, and any other emotion I haven't listed. Who wouldn't be? I just want to help her find a healthy way to express it. Anyways, I'm just new here and looking for any help I can find. I didn't go into any great detail, but just kinda wanted to get something out there. Thanks.