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painful update and personal question
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<blockquote data-quote="tiredmommy" data-source="post: 56606" data-attributes="member: 1722"><p>{{{Kathie}}}</p><p>I so wish I could help carry some of this emotional load for you. One person just isn't strong enough to go it alone where an unstable difficult child is concerned.</p><p>I've been blessed to not have to deal with a suicide attempt. I pray I never do. I will relate a defining time for me in regard to realizing just how desperately I needed support from someone. Anyone, really. </p><p>Duckie had recently gotten sick and we had just embarked on her allergy diet and shots. I was incredibly stressed about everything. I feared a slip up on my part could cause a life threatening allergic reaction in Duckie, it was all too much for me. Then she went missing from her bedroom one night. I couldn't find her anywhere and I was terrified. What if she were sick or hurt? What if she had suffered an anaphylactic reaction and had died? Kathie, I was literally hysterical, tearing through the house, screaming for her at the top of my lungs. I'm crying now just remembering that night.</p><p>We kept a baby gate up to block Duckie from going into the kitchen back then. Her slight motor delay prevented her from opening this gate even at age 4.5 years, so it was a good solution to keep her from getting into the kitchen and into off-limit foods. Well... she hopped the gate and climbed onto the counter, opened the cupboard and grabbed a tube of husband's pringles potato chips. She snuck downstairs into our basement laundry room to eat them. She heard me wake & start to frantically search for her. She was afraid I would be angry so she stayed put for several minutes. They were the longest minutes of my life.</p><p>Duckie finally came out when she heard me crying and sobbing. She was alive and well, even if I was now a wreck.</p><p>Kathie, those horrifying few minutes hammered home to me that I needed to find some balance in my life. I was completely brittle inside and focused so strongly on the illness that I was losing track of the little girl suffering through it. It was a very bad place to be. I needed to learn what I could realistically do for Duckie's well-being and and what was overkill. I had to learn to start taking care of my needs, so I'd be strong and healthy enough to help Duckie. I started developing friendships with other moms and now two with their own difficult children especially are good strong friends. We talk about our parenting struggles, our fears and our hopes for our kids. We prop each other up. It helps.</p><p>I hope you can find the support you need. It will truly make your life more livable.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="tiredmommy, post: 56606, member: 1722"] {{{Kathie}}} I so wish I could help carry some of this emotional load for you. One person just isn't strong enough to go it alone where an unstable difficult child is concerned. I've been blessed to not have to deal with a suicide attempt. I pray I never do. I will relate a defining time for me in regard to realizing just how desperately I needed support from someone. Anyone, really. Duckie had recently gotten sick and we had just embarked on her allergy diet and shots. I was incredibly stressed about everything. I feared a slip up on my part could cause a life threatening allergic reaction in Duckie, it was all too much for me. Then she went missing from her bedroom one night. I couldn't find her anywhere and I was terrified. What if she were sick or hurt? What if she had suffered an anaphylactic reaction and had died? Kathie, I was literally hysterical, tearing through the house, screaming for her at the top of my lungs. I'm crying now just remembering that night. We kept a baby gate up to block Duckie from going into the kitchen back then. Her slight motor delay prevented her from opening this gate even at age 4.5 years, so it was a good solution to keep her from getting into the kitchen and into off-limit foods. Well... she hopped the gate and climbed onto the counter, opened the cupboard and grabbed a tube of husband's pringles potato chips. She snuck downstairs into our basement laundry room to eat them. She heard me wake & start to frantically search for her. She was afraid I would be angry so she stayed put for several minutes. They were the longest minutes of my life. Duckie finally came out when she heard me crying and sobbing. She was alive and well, even if I was now a wreck. Kathie, those horrifying few minutes hammered home to me that I needed to find some balance in my life. I was completely brittle inside and focused so strongly on the illness that I was losing track of the little girl suffering through it. It was a very bad place to be. I needed to learn what I could realistically do for Duckie's well-being and and what was overkill. I had to learn to start taking care of my needs, so I'd be strong and healthy enough to help Duckie. I started developing friendships with other moms and now two with their own difficult children especially are good strong friends. We talk about our parenting struggles, our fears and our hopes for our kids. We prop each other up. It helps. I hope you can find the support you need. It will truly make your life more livable. [/QUOTE]
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