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General Parenting
Parental authority and cell phone question
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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 490437" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>I don't have the answer but wanted to offer support and let you know I'm in a similar situation. My son is in Department of Juvenile Justice and might possibly be released to come back to live with me about the time he turns 17, next month. The last time he had a cell phone, he was 13-14yo and he was doing very unacceptable things at home, too. I realize there's a big difference between 14 and 17 but still don't want to hand him an avenue that makes it wayyy to easy to plow down a 'bad' path. And I agree strong-heartedly that as long as he lives in my house and I'm footing the bill for everything, especially when he's still a minor and I'm held accountable for his actions, I should be able to instill parental controls and exert parental authority without getting any grief over it. But, I have no idea what the right answer is. </p><p></p><p>But- re searching the room- I stand by what I heard on Oprah once. You let the kid know where the boundary for privacy is- I won't barge in his bedroom if he's in there alone, but I have a right to search any room in any home I'm paying for and he's living in as a minor. Period. That way, he knows up front and then I don't buy into his protest of me "violating his privacy".</p><p>I'll be watching this thread to get ideas because I'm wondering if my son comes back to live with me, should I get him a cell phone for his b-day. I'm kind of considering some way to put limits on the usage and get him one, just to see if he'll abide by some boundaries with it. If he is able to comply with that, then of course, those boundaries would be widened. I haven't decided for sure yet, though.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 490437, member: 3699"] I don't have the answer but wanted to offer support and let you know I'm in a similar situation. My son is in Department of Juvenile Justice and might possibly be released to come back to live with me about the time he turns 17, next month. The last time he had a cell phone, he was 13-14yo and he was doing very unacceptable things at home, too. I realize there's a big difference between 14 and 17 but still don't want to hand him an avenue that makes it wayyy to easy to plow down a 'bad' path. And I agree strong-heartedly that as long as he lives in my house and I'm footing the bill for everything, especially when he's still a minor and I'm held accountable for his actions, I should be able to instill parental controls and exert parental authority without getting any grief over it. But, I have no idea what the right answer is. But- re searching the room- I stand by what I heard on Oprah once. You let the kid know where the boundary for privacy is- I won't barge in his bedroom if he's in there alone, but I have a right to search any room in any home I'm paying for and he's living in as a minor. Period. That way, he knows up front and then I don't buy into his protest of me "violating his privacy". I'll be watching this thread to get ideas because I'm wondering if my son comes back to live with me, should I get him a cell phone for his b-day. I'm kind of considering some way to put limits on the usage and get him one, just to see if he'll abide by some boundaries with it. If he is able to comply with that, then of course, those boundaries would be widened. I haven't decided for sure yet, though. [/QUOTE]
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