Parenting Advice with John Rosemond: Time-outs are a weak punishment - Statesboroherald.com
For several reasons, I am not a fan of parenting magazines. First, they reinforce the impression that child-rearing is a very complicated affair, requiring consulting with “experts” on a regular basis (and yes, I am fully aware of the irony of that statement). Second, with every issue, said publications raise the Good Mommy Bar by giving women (their nearly exclusive consumers) more things to think about and more things to do. Third, they often render conflicting information and advice. Fourth, the advice they dispense is often just downright bad.
Regarding the latter, a case in point: An article in the April 2017, issue of Parents magazine purporting to tell parents how to properly use time-out. To put my remarks in perspective, I was one of the primary popularizers of time-out. During the early years of this syndicated column (1976 – 1990, roughly), I often recommended it and even hold the dubious distinction of coming up with the “one minute of time out for every year of a child’s age” formula.
Much to my chagrin, however, I eventually concluded that time-out worked only with children who were already well-behaved — obedient, respectful, responsible and so on. Said children only need occasional and relatively minor “adjustments,” which can include time-out. In and of itself, however, time-out is simply too weak a consequence to have significant impact on a child who does not fit that description — assuming that said child would even cooperate in sitting still for several minutes without being physically restrained (more on that shortly).
For several reasons, I am not a fan of parenting magazines. First, they reinforce the impression that child-rearing is a very complicated affair, requiring consulting with “experts” on a regular basis (and yes, I am fully aware of the irony of that statement). Second, with every issue, said publications raise the Good Mommy Bar by giving women (their nearly exclusive consumers) more things to think about and more things to do. Third, they often render conflicting information and advice. Fourth, the advice they dispense is often just downright bad.
Regarding the latter, a case in point: An article in the April 2017, issue of Parents magazine purporting to tell parents how to properly use time-out. To put my remarks in perspective, I was one of the primary popularizers of time-out. During the early years of this syndicated column (1976 – 1990, roughly), I often recommended it and even hold the dubious distinction of coming up with the “one minute of time out for every year of a child’s age” formula.
Much to my chagrin, however, I eventually concluded that time-out worked only with children who were already well-behaved — obedient, respectful, responsible and so on. Said children only need occasional and relatively minor “adjustments,” which can include time-out. In and of itself, however, time-out is simply too weak a consequence to have significant impact on a child who does not fit that description — assuming that said child would even cooperate in sitting still for several minutes without being physically restrained (more on that shortly).