Parents and Children going through placement hospital and TFC

[angelphoenix11]

To all parents and children who have had to experiance or are experiancing the heart wrenching choice of placing a child in either a psychiatric hospital or a therapeutic foster care situation. I would like to build a support connection with you. There are all kinds of support groups for foster parents or situations where the child is "taken" from a home because of abuse or neglect. But where is the support for those who do it voluntarily and sacrafice for the future of their child? The system is "there" to protect the child from harm and therefore do their own process keeping the parent at a distance. I have made the decision to place my son in TFC because I was concerned and responsible for making sure that he is able to function in society with it's rules and it is apparent that I am not able to "make" him understand that, so I seeked out help. (Not for a lack of trying) He is a very caring and sweet boy with wonderful characteristics, but when he gets in a mood or has a meltdown there is no line he won't cross to get to his goal. He is VERY creative and intelligent but it both helps him occupy himself as well as equipes him with the ability to force people to have to back down (wether intentional or not). He has been diagnosed with Asperger's, Oppisitional defiance disorder, mood disorder and ADHD with all seem to take turns being the dominant issue. (And his education is suffering) It makes it very difficult dealing with the ODD when his AS prevents change. Anyway, I would like to connect with BOTH parents who have had this difficult choice and their experiances, as well as the CHILDREN who have or are going through the placement to hear how it has affected them, what has worked, and what actually made things worse. Please respond there is nothing I can find similar to my situation to build on and help us. I have all kinds of "professionals" helping but it is the reality of those who go through it that matters to me.

 

[nvts]

Hey! Sorry I can't write much tonight - rough night AND day today with difficult child 1 - I have to get to bed! Ugh!

My difficult child 1 has the same basic diagnosis as yours - he's 12 and the dominating personality in the house. He's basically running the show. I like your idea of asking for a poll - I never would have thought of that! I'm also considering a placement for him - I just don't feel like I'm helping him at all.

I'll pop on during the day tomorrow and write you a proper note - I noticed in your other thread that you had a lot of questions about how to operate the forums - click on the "FAQ/Board Help" forum. You'll get a neat little set of instructions when you click on the various threads.

Welcome! It's a great group and you'll learn tons of stuff!

Know that you're not alone - we're all basically in the same boat with only 1 oar in the water!

Beth

 

[angelphoenix11]

looking foward to hearing from you, and thanks for the FAQ's idea, just have to figure out where that is first.

 

[smallworld]

Hi angel and welcome.

My son is 17 and has been in a residential treatment center in Utah since August 2009. We placed him there because he was severely depressed, academically underachieving, socially withdrawn and therapy resistant. And the public school self-contained program that his IEP had placed him in was not helping him make much progress. Sending him to an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) was the hardest decision we've ever made as parents, but it has been life-changing. He is thriving. He is no longer depressed. He has made friends. He will graduate from high school in December. He has plans for the future. And our relationship with him is the best it's been in years. Although we are cognizant of the fact that relapse is always a possibility, we are happily making plans for him to return home in January. Intensive treatment, in my son's case, has been key to his progress.

 

[nvts]

http://www.conductdisorders.com/forum/f7/

Here's the link to the FAQ section. All you have to do to access ALL of the various forums (including the Watercooler where we all tend to let our hair down with non-difficult child conversation!) is go to www.conductdisorders.com . At the top is a tab called "Forums". Click on that and you'll see all of the various forums. FAQ/Board Help is at the top, followed by General, Small Kids, etc. Click on the forum that you want and it'll list all of the threads within the forum itself. To start a thread, simply click on "start a new thread" toward the top, and your gold!

You'll get used to it. Don't worry about messing up - the mods on the forums can help out if they see something not working!

Out to Target to finalize "back to school" purchases (yeah right, like THAT ever happens!)!

Talk to you later!

Beth