parents came to visit difficult child yesterday

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Jena, Nov 7, 2010.

  1. Jena

    Jena New Member

    and simply said wow she's thin and looks not good at all. Thanks! shes' awfully pale, and kind of flat i think she's depressed. spends alot of time just holding and playing with puppy since got him.

    was on im last night with-her cousin which is good.

    i just can say i get why ppl, kids have to be hospitalized for this sort of thing. it's just too difficult to handle from home. not just the shakes and fact their making her sick now, yet the emotions to handle, appointments to keep, just all of it.

    she's been obsesssing about her throat for days now. i'm waiting on getting new medications from pharmacy they didnt' have it.

    i get eventually it has to turn around, yet one thing I know is that I really hope im not doing more damage with her. she just has so many thoughts all the time. isn't sleeping well again, and shes' driving all of us a bit nutty with-her irritability so easy child has been steering clear. most dinners except nights i have my step kids are just difficult child with a shake.

    dinner here has kinda come to a hault. i actually forgot to eat for a few days other than crackers, until i complained about my stomach and husband said it's because you aren't eating. so yea i ate. i don't force easy child to be around here as much as I probably should because it's rough right now and she finds solace in her friends
     
  2. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    I am glad the puppy is bringing difficult child some comfort. Yes, hospitalization is very intense. It also helps in seperating your emotions from your kids'. What you are doing with difficult child at home is very hard because your emotions are still a factor and she can feed on those.

    Try to find time to check in on easy child whenever possible. If you can arrange to do something with easy child that will help her also. She is feeling pushed aside even though we know that is not the case. My Diva went through the same thing when difficult child was hospitalized. My Diva has chosen to turn her back on me and walk her own path but will still proclaim that it was me that pushed her away - Not so!!! Even as older teenagers, the world still revolves around them and what we see as necessary extra help to a sibling, they see as themselves being left out.

    I know you are doing great. It is so very hard and all we can do is hope that one day the kids will all understand what went on and why. They will sooner or later realize that you did have everyone's best interest at heart and did the best you could to meet everyone's needs. Just because one kid had more urgent needs doesn't mean you didn't love the other just as much!
     
  3. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    I remember when I was 16 my twin sister was hit by a car. She broke her ankle and had to have surgery to have a screw put in, and she had a really nasty concussion. That wasn't anywhere near at drastic as what you are going through with difficult child, but I still felt pushed aside. My stuff wasn't nearly as important as what was going on with my sister, so it just was...I'm not sure if ignored is the right word. It just wasn't given much importance. My point is that you should try to spend some one on one time with easy child. She sees difficult child getting all kinds of attention for being difficult and what is easy child getting? I know that it's hard because difficult child's situation can be lifve threatening, but don't forget about easy child. She needs you, too.

    I hope that's not too preachy. I just remember how it felt to not be the important one.

    Pam
     
  4. Jena

    Jena New Member

    thx guys. i already took easy child last night for paint for her room. i was exhausted and could barely stand up. i took her picked colors, got her all set up today to paint. than today i went and bought her a new coat and scarf she'd been asking for. easy child for now is ok. yet it's a daily thing. i just get why ppl put kids in hospital's this is too complicated to handle from home.

    bunny sorry that's rough, andy thanks
     
  5. ThreeShadows

    ThreeShadows Quid me anxia?

    Yes, it's hard, Jena. Just last week, difficult child 1 told me he felt as if I had "chosen" difficult child 2 over him because I was so overwhelmed by trying to get the kid off the streets and away from his destructive friends. I thought that, if our two who were still at home witnessed how hard I was fighting to save their brother, they would see that a mom never gives up on her beloved child. Unfortunately, I was thinking like an adult, not viewing the commotion through their eyes.
     
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