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Parole Officer issue
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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 325099" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>I tend to think that other states might not be so focused on blaming the parent. And then there is still an assumption by many in our society (including in the legal system) that if the father sticks around, it is two parents doing the best they can. But if it's a single mom (particularly with a son), then she's a clueless difficult child herself that just fell off the turnip truck and they have a dysfunctional relationship and something must be wrong with her or she'd be married. Otherwise, she wouldn't have "gotten HERSELF pregnant" out of wedlock otherwise. And once they find out that she's been thru therapy herself before- oh, well that's just the proof that's she's a whacko and needs someone telling her how to raise her child and someone to "monitor" it or else she won't do it right. Now how much will a difficult child respect his mother once he picks up on that coming from authority figures? And how much does that encourage him to take responsibility for his own choices instead of blaming someone else?</p><p></p><p>Unfortunately, it leaves me seeing the options for difficult child in a very pessimistic light and makes it hard to figure out what is in his best interest. If they really did "work with" a parent- like in an IEP meeting, I think things could and would turn around quickly. It would still be more opinions from legal people than the parent but the emphasis would be on doing what is in the child's best interest (including stopping illegal activity) instead of blame and scrutiny and controlling and ordering and punishing. But they laugh at me whenever I suggest something like that. (Apparently they think the system's methods are much more successful than I do- but I guess that's because the ones that end up staying in the revolving door do so because the kid and/or parent "didn't do it right".) Have you ever heard a therapist admit to giving the wrong therapy/diagnosis or inadequate therapy? No- if it doesn't work it;'s because the patient was too far gone or was resistant, right? Same thing with these people in the legal system.</p><p></p><p>The thought of difficult child returning home makes me happy. The thought of him returning home with this CSU still involved makes me scared and worried and extremely stressed. You would think that alone would tell them something.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 325099, member: 3699"] I tend to think that other states might not be so focused on blaming the parent. And then there is still an assumption by many in our society (including in the legal system) that if the father sticks around, it is two parents doing the best they can. But if it's a single mom (particularly with a son), then she's a clueless difficult child herself that just fell off the turnip truck and they have a dysfunctional relationship and something must be wrong with her or she'd be married. Otherwise, she wouldn't have "gotten HERSELF pregnant" out of wedlock otherwise. And once they find out that she's been thru therapy herself before- oh, well that's just the proof that's she's a whacko and needs someone telling her how to raise her child and someone to "monitor" it or else she won't do it right. Now how much will a difficult child respect his mother once he picks up on that coming from authority figures? And how much does that encourage him to take responsibility for his own choices instead of blaming someone else? Unfortunately, it leaves me seeing the options for difficult child in a very pessimistic light and makes it hard to figure out what is in his best interest. If they really did "work with" a parent- like in an IEP meeting, I think things could and would turn around quickly. It would still be more opinions from legal people than the parent but the emphasis would be on doing what is in the child's best interest (including stopping illegal activity) instead of blame and scrutiny and controlling and ordering and punishing. But they laugh at me whenever I suggest something like that. (Apparently they think the system's methods are much more successful than I do- but I guess that's because the ones that end up staying in the revolving door do so because the kid and/or parent "didn't do it right".) Have you ever heard a therapist admit to giving the wrong therapy/diagnosis or inadequate therapy? No- if it doesn't work it;'s because the patient was too far gone or was resistant, right? Same thing with these people in the legal system. The thought of difficult child returning home makes me happy. The thought of him returning home with this CSU still involved makes me scared and worried and extremely stressed. You would think that alone would tell them something. [/QUOTE]
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