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The Watercooler
Part three: Jumper's boyfriend saga: The possible dealbreaker
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<blockquote data-quote="DDD" data-source="post: 456555" data-attributes="member: 35"><p>I'm sorry that things still look bleak. Absolutely I think you guys need to stay out of his plans. Why? For a number of reasons actually. Most importantly J is preparing for a life changing series of decisions that will cause trauma to him and his family. He has to own each of his choices and actions or they won't settle in his heart and his mind. Leaving home at 18 is a <strong>big </strong>decision that will impact the rest of his life. Yes, I know, he is not in a loving environment. on the other hand, he is leaving the life he has known and it will be a huge change. Even really abused childen have "sense of loss" issues, trouble adapting to strange ways etc. It may be the best choice <strong>he</strong> ever made or it may be a trigger for depression for the losses he will face. </p><p></p><p>I'm glad to read that he has the option to live with a friend. I'm <strong>really </strong>glad that you are not inviting him to join your household. It would not be good for Jumper. It would not be good for him. It would not be good for your family.</p><p>Wanting to "save" someone is admirable (comes in the true Mom's heart) but it is his burden and will shape his future choices. I totally agree that Jumper should not be visiting his family home. SM is "off". There is no telling how far "off" she is. I see that as possible endangerment for your daughter and not worth the risk when only a few months are left before his birthday. Life will soon normalize as the school year gets in full swing. Time will pass quickly (at least from an adult perspective, lol) and the next thing they know Christmas will be here. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that Jumper's life stays on an even keel and that her friend is analyzing his options carefully. Hugs DDD</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DDD, post: 456555, member: 35"] I'm sorry that things still look bleak. Absolutely I think you guys need to stay out of his plans. Why? For a number of reasons actually. Most importantly J is preparing for a life changing series of decisions that will cause trauma to him and his family. He has to own each of his choices and actions or they won't settle in his heart and his mind. Leaving home at 18 is a [B]big [/B]decision that will impact the rest of his life. Yes, I know, he is not in a loving environment. on the other hand, he is leaving the life he has known and it will be a huge change. Even really abused childen have "sense of loss" issues, trouble adapting to strange ways etc. It may be the best choice [B]he[/B] ever made or it may be a trigger for depression for the losses he will face. I'm glad to read that he has the option to live with a friend. I'm [B]really [/B]glad that you are not inviting him to join your household. It would not be good for Jumper. It would not be good for him. It would not be good for your family. Wanting to "save" someone is admirable (comes in the true Mom's heart) but it is his burden and will shape his future choices. I totally agree that Jumper should not be visiting his family home. SM is "off". There is no telling how far "off" she is. I see that as possible endangerment for your daughter and not worth the risk when only a few months are left before his birthday. Life will soon normalize as the school year gets in full swing. Time will pass quickly (at least from an adult perspective, lol) and the next thing they know Christmas will be here. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that Jumper's life stays on an even keel and that her friend is analyzing his options carefully. Hugs DDD [/QUOTE]
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Part three: Jumper's boyfriend saga: The possible dealbreaker
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